Imperial Coffee
by Porsheee
Summary: Kai is the son of the CEO of Imperial Coffee. Cinder is an employee at the same coffee shop and has recently restarted her life after escaping from her abusive mother. At first, it's just a casual attraction—before everything starts going wrong. Now they're tasked with keeping each other afloat, and most of all, alive.
1. Part One: Home

**Author's Note:** There is Portuguese in this fic. While Kai translates, he doesn't do a thorough job. The real English translation is at the bottom. Shout out to isami183 for the translation!

* * *

Kai was good at a lot of things. He could run a lab, write an essay, solve a math problem, row a boat, read a book, and even do taxes. He could not, however, make a cup of coffee for the life of him. Not from lack of trying.

He sat a table over from Cinder, the senior employee who had been teaching him that day. "Senior" had nothing to do with age; Kai was a year older than her. Yet, for the first time in his life, he felt severely inadequate.

He bit into a scone an employee gave him earlier. He imagined it had to do with his father being the CEO. Since the moment he stepped into Imperial Coffee that morning, the other employees were distant. When Cinder first greeted him, he had to make her call him Kai: Mr. Huang he reserved for teachers and business meetings with his parents.

Still, Cinder was different from the other employees. From the hours she worked, he wondered if she went to college too, and when she first arrived she smelled like something akin to mechanic grease. He was intrigued, that was for sure, and it didn't hurt that she was attractive to boot.

"Oi, Iko. Como você tá?" he heard Cinder ask, though no one was across from her. He was confused until he noticed the laptop facing her. He could only see the Skype frame.

He didn't hear Iko's reply since Cinder was using earbuds, but now he was curious. It took him a second to recognize the language, but he thought Cinder was speaking Portuguese. He was fluent in Spanish, and he'd recently been taking Portuguese on the side for over two years. Rusty, but he could get by.

"Sim, o trabalho tá bem normal. Não tem nada muito interessante hoje."

Work wasn't interesting? Was he really that unimportant?

"Ah espera, eu esqueci. A gente tem un novo empregado. Ele também é o filho do CEO, então todo mundo tem agido bem estranho hoje."

He now appeared in the conversation, though he couldn't understand completely what she said about him. Something about being a CEO? And…did she say he was weird?

"Quero dizer, sim, mas não vai assumindo coisas. Ele é bem ruim em fazer café." She laughed and Kai's face grew warm. He was painfully aware of the irony of the situation. Yes, he was bad at making coffee. Ha. Ha.

"Trazer ele? Você tá de brincadeira? O que eu diria? 'Minha irmã é louca por você, gostaria de falar com ela por Skype no seu primeiro dia de trabalho?'"

Cinder was...going to ask him to Skype with Iko? Well.

" _Tá bom._ "

Kai saw Cinder get up from the corner of his eye and pretended to concentrate on taking another bite of scone.

"Hey, um, Kai."

Kai looked up and smiled. "Don't tell me lunch is already over."

"No, actually. My sister wanted to say hello. I know it's weird, but I don't want to say no."

Kai got up. "Well, I'm not exactly preoccupied."

Cinder unplugged the earbuds from the laptop as they sat down. The girl on the screen had long, styled blue braids wrapped up in an intricate bun, and her bright gold eyes popped against her dark brown skin. She was beautiful, but she didn't look much like her sister. The girlish expression on her face made her appear years younger, though Kai suspected she was around the same age as Cinder.

Iko's smile grew when Kai waved. He didn't know what it was about her, but Iko made the day brighter.

"Hello, you must be...?"

"Kai. And you are?"

"Iko." Iko then turned to Cinder. "Você não me disse que ele era gostoso."

Kai had never heard "hot" to describe a person in Portuguese before. He filed that away, careful to keep his expression neutral.

"Não achei que fosse importante te contar." Cinder rolled her eyes.

Kai appreciated the sass, but he was disappointed she didn't outright agree with her sister.

"So, Kai," Iko asked, "how's your first day been?"

"I'm no good at making coffee, though not for lack of help." He pointedly looked at Cinder and Iko squealed.

"Cinder's _really_ good at making coffee; she's been working there for five years! Or at least, the one back home. We have one here too."

Cinder glared but didn't say anything. Five years? Kai was barely volunteering five years ago, much less holding a job. Was that even legal? He didn't know.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and she caught on super quickly! Everyone was surprised."

"No kidding." He turned to Cinder. "How old were you? What, _fifteen?"_

"Yeah, fifteen and a half. I just worked the weekends, though, and didn't have too many hours."

"She's underselling herself, as always." Iko stuck her tongue out.

"Thanks, Iko, I think we've had enough. Lunch is almost over," Cinder grumbled.

"Alright, bye Cinder. Bye Kai!"

"Tchau, foi um prazer te conhecer, Iko," Kai said, right as the call ended. Cinder's eyes widened. He could already read her mind: _He could understand us this entire time? SAVE ME._

He walked off as if nothing happened, only to lean against the counter laughing. He was still laughing when she walked up.

"You know _Portuguese?_ Why didn't you say anything?"

He raised an eyebrow. _And ruin that fun?_ his expression said.

"Fair point." Her cheeks were red with what was probably embarrassment, but seeing him laughing broke her into a smile, and then she was alongside him, laughter doubling.

In that moment, he forgot about the spilled coffee, the splattering whipped cream. He forgot about the frustration, the other employees who treated him as if he were different, the distance he felt. In that moment, both of them putting all their weight on the counter, clutching their sides, tears squeezing from their eyes, he was content.

Something had shifted; even once went back to work, there was a glow around them that continued the rest of the day. If there had been any unease between them before it was gone.

Instead, as he looked at the round tables and tall chairs and the espresso machine before him, he thought it felt cozy. The lights were bright, the conversations bubbling low, the scent of coffee thick. He wondered at Cinder's ponytail, whose messiness only seemed to frame her face better than if it were neat. And when he looked in her eyes at the pinnacle of a smile, for an instant…he was home.

* * *

English Translation

" _Hey, Iko. How are you?_ " he heard Cinder ask, though no one was across from her. He was confused until he noticed the laptop facing her. He could only see the Skype frame.

He didn't hear Iko's reply since Cinder was using earbuds, but now he was curious. It took him a second to recognize the language, but he thought Cinder was speaking Portuguese. He was fluent in Spanish, and he'd recently been taking Portuguese on the side for over two years. Rusty, but he could get by.

" _Yeah, work's pretty normal. Nothing much of interest today._ "

Work wasn't interesting? Was he really that unimportant?

" _Oh wait, I forgot. We have a new employee. He's the CEO's son too, so everyone's been acting super weird today._ "

He now appeared in the conversation, though he couldn't understand completely what she said about him. Something about being a CEO? And…did she say he was weird?

" _I mean, yeah, but stop assuming things. He's really bad at making coffee._ " She laughed and Kai's face grew warm. He was painfully aware of the irony of the situation. Yes, he was bad at making coffee. Ha. Ha.

" _Bring him over? Are you kidding me? What would I even say? 'My sister is crazy for you, would you like to Skype with her on the first day of your job?_ '"

Cinder was...going to ask him to Skype with Iko? Well.

 _"Fine._ "

* * *

"Kai. And you are?"

"Iko." Iko then turned to Cinder. " _You didn't tell me he was_ hot _._ "

Kai had never heard "hot" to describe a person in Portuguese before. He filed that away, careful to keep his expression neutral.

" _I didn't think it was worth noting_." Cinder rolled her eyes.

* * *

 _"Bye, it was a pleasure meeting you, Iko,_ " Kai said, right as the call ended.


	2. Part Two: Library

Cinder had changed. Kai noticed the moment she walked in. Her eyes were red-rimmed, he thought, and her hair was down before she reached the counter. Her posture was of someone who had not slept an hour the night before.

"Good morning, Mr. Huang."

He winced. Did he do something wrong? In all three weeks they'd worked together, she had never returned to formalities.

She had never refused to meet his eyes.

"It's Ka—" He stopped himself. She wasn't listening. He sighed and adjusted his apron. He fixed a smile on his face and charmed his way to lunch, though his gut fell progressively lower as the day passed.

One time he tried to move back and talk to Cinder, but he caught her swiping at her cheek.

He did something. He must have. But _what_?

* * *

Ever since the first day, they had eaten lunch together at one of the tables. It turned out Cinder didn't Skype her sister that often at the café, and they both appreciated the company, though they were normally joined by a fellow employee or two.

Cinder wasn't sitting at their normal table that day. Kai sat down and started to eat alone, until he groaned and slammed his fist on the table. This was ridiculous. How could he call himself a friend? Companion? Colleague? If there was something going on, he had to resolve it.

Or else it would resolve itself, and not in a way he planned.

He walked outside the café and almost gave up on finding her until he caught the glimpse of her figure at a park bench. He resisted calling her name out, afraid she wouldn't respond. Afraid she would call him Mr. Huang. _Afraid she would walk away._

"Hey, Cinder," he said, coming up behind the bench. When she looked up, her eyes were redder, hair somehow messier. Her eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"Hey. Kai."

"Can I sit here?"

She paused, before nodding.

"Go ahead."

* * *

They ate in silence. Cinder's stomach sloshed like a rag in a bucket of dirty water, and when she raised her sandwich to her mouth she found her hands shaking. Could Kai tell? She hated herself for coming to work that day, for talking to Kai at all. She wanted a clean break before anything went more wrong.

Before she had to say goodbye, again.

"Can I ask something?" Kai placed his sandwich in his lap, and she was surprised to hear a note of concern in his voice.

 _No. Please don't. I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to see me at all…_

She couldn't bring herself to say yes, so she nodded.

"Did I…do something wrong?"

Her throat closed up. She couldn't eat her food, a knot blocking her airway. She felt her breathing grow rushed, her heart pounding. _It's not you, it's me._ She didn't know what people meant when they said that, but she knew what it meant for her. It was her fault. It was all her fault. It was always her fault.

"No," she said. The word choked.

"Then is something wrong?"

She tried to calm her heart beat, but it was out of her control. _Not even_ he _cared about you. How could you expect anyone to care? How could you assume that of someone?_

"Kai, I've been thinking…" _Thinking too much. Too many thoughts, too many words, not enough, not enough, too much—_ "Maybe you should work somewhere else."

She stared into her lap, at the sandwich she knew she would never take another bite of. When there was only silence, she finally looked up at his face.

And her heart broke.

"Cinder, please, what did I do? Tell me, I…I need you to."

She shook her head. She didn't want things to end either. That's why she was stopping it before it began.

She was only setting them both up for disappointment.

"You're no good at making coffee. You are getting a degree at a top ranking college, and yet you can't seem to wrap your mind around something I've been doing since I was fifteen. You're privileged and rich, and for someone like me…we're in a different world. Don't delude yourself."

She made her face sharp. She made her features stone. And she made her tongue acid. _This is better for both of us._

His face fell and completely drained of color. She stood up, sandwich falling to the ground. She did not move to pick it up, and as she turned and walked away, her entire body shook. She gripped her hands together, and her breathing picked up. She couldn't—get—air—

Black dots spotted her vision. She tried to clear her eyesight, but it only caused her heartbeat to barrel faster, faster, _faster._

She was lost. Worthless. And she'd left another person, the way they always left her. She was selfish. She was stupid and brash and bold and stupid and _worthless._

Her knees weakened right as arms wrapped around her from behind, holding her up.

"Cinder…are you okay?" Kai whispered. "If you really hate me, I'll let you go. I'll find another shop to work in. I'll give you all the space you want and need. But Cinder…if you don't hate me, please don't make me go."

He pulled away, though kept supporting hands on her shoulders.

She turned to face him. The sharpness was gone, the acid.

"I'm not okay," she said. "And you don't deserve to not be okay either. I don't hate you. I just…" She stopped.

"You just?" His voice was soft, the softest she had heard him.

She remained silent. He removed his hands, and she was amazed to find her feet solid below her.

"I'm just not who you think I am, that's all."

"So who exactly are you?"

She smiled sadly. "I hope you never have to know."

"And I hope exactly the opposite. Cinder...will you go on a date with me?"

* * *

Cinder's mouth dropped open the moment he said those words, but just as soon she was shaking her head. _No._ Was he insane? After what she just told him, _he asked her out?_

"I'm sorry, um, but...I can't. I've only known you for three weeks."

Kai's expression was disappointed, but he covered it up quickly.

"Are you sure? We can get to know each other on a date. I could just take you to dinner or something."

Cinder shook her head again.

"I can't right now. I appreciate the offer, but..."

Kai melted his expression into a smile. "Okay, I understand. In that case, can we be friends?"

Cinder paused. If she said no to that...where would that leave her?

"If you want to be."

Kai nodded, before checking his watch.

" _Aces and spades._ "

"What?"

"We're going to be late."

* * *

Kai waited in the library, flipping through the pages of a book without reading the text. They had agreed to meet at 9:30 PM, after her shift ended. The library was near Imperial Coffee, and Kai had suggested it since he often did SAT tutoring there some afternoons.

It was now 9:31. No big deal, it was fine if she was a little late. But as one minute turned to five, and then ten, and then fifteen, he got more and more worried.

The words blurred on the page. He shook his head to clear his thoughts but all he could see was Cinder's face. _You're privileged and rich, and for someone like me…we're in a different world. Don't delude yourself._

Had she meant that? He had always been aware of the distance around him. He hated it, the drive people had to either avoid him or mooch up. Cinder had seemed different, though. She was kind to him without being distant, and he never thought she was trying to get close for personal gains.

But was she like them too? He couldn't blame her. There were some things he could never fully understand, some things he never had to experience. He was simply _disappointed_.

Because for the first time in his life, he had feelings for someone. Girls were always attracted to him, it seemed, or at least his money. But this was the first time _he_ was attracted to one of _them_.

And this girl was standing him up.

He sighed and shut his book. He regretted giving Cinder his number but not taking hers. Where was she? Had something come up? Or did she not want to see him and was too scared to say anything? His stomach dropped at the thought of her being scared.

Fifteen minutes later, his phone rang.

* * *

Cinder was in her bed. When her shift ended, it took everything in her not to throw up. She went straight home, taking a taxi for the first time.

In the past, Thorne always picked her up after it got dark, but Thorne was never going to be there again. She would have walked, but she didn't know if her legs could hold her up for another half hour.

She only remembered the plans with Kai after she reached her apartment. It was 9:50, twenty minutes after they agreed to meet up. She bit back a sob and curled up on top of the sheets, pulling at her hair with her hands.

Any day but today. _Any day._ Why had he smiled like that? Why was he so charming? Why did he seem to take interest in her, when that had never happened to her in the past?

She was the girl forgotten. The girl hidden. The girl thrown away and left on her own. Her stepmother had done that since the beginning, treated her like dirt, like a plague on the house.

In school, she'd never had lasting friends, except her adopted sister. That was, until she met Thorne in 9th grade.

She didn't know why he hung out with her. Thorne was good looking and charming, in a different way than Kai. She heard talk behind their backs about their friendship, that it was a shame Thorne spent so much time with someone like _her._

She was too thin, too gangly, too flat-chested, had too many sharp edges. She was not worthy of a friend like Thorne. And yet, he'd been there when times were hard, and when times were easy he was the reason.

They made promises. They would be friends to the ends of the Earth.

 _Now that we're not,_ Cinder thought, digging her nails into the palms of her hands, _Does that mean we've reached the end?_

Her pillow was wet with tears. This wasn't unusual for her, but every time it happened she sunk just a little deeper, a little darker. Worthless. Nobody. Nobody would care about her. When Kai asked her out, it had been pity. She was pitied and white lied to and she was _never worth a single damn piece of dirt._

She tried to even her breathing, but she instead turned in on herself and screamed. No sound came out, but she laid there anyway, scream after scream ripping from her throat.

When she was done, she was panting, her throat strained and raw. It was now 10. She thought of Kai, who she had made plans with.

He had probably left twenty minutes ago when he found out she wasn't there. He would be mad at her. She deserved it. But still.

The thought of him sitting alone in the library made her reach for her phone and pick it up.

With trembling hands, she called him.


	3. Part Three: Ever After

The phone rang only once before he picked up.

"Cinder?"

She took a steadying breath.

"Hey, Kai." She winced at how gravely her voice sounded, but she couldn't cover it up. Not this time. "I'm sorry for not coming to the library. I forgot. Can I make it up to you?"

There was a pause, and Cinder tapped her fingers on her leg. Her body was still shaking, but her cheeks were now dry.

"Are you okay?"

Cinder stiffened.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

"Your voice..."

"I had to take the counter for a few hours, so my throat is sore."

There was another pause.

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay?"

"If you keep asking, you run the risk of me telling the truth." Cinder laughed, but it sounded false, even to her own ears.

"Where are you now?"

"My apartment. Why?"

"I'm at the library. How far is the drive?"

"About twenty minutes. But why are you..."

"I'm just worried, that's all. I...know what it's like to be in an apartment alone. When you're having a bad day." He broke off awkwardly.

Cinder breathed deeply. She watched her hands shake. She didn't know if Kai could help or what he would say when he saw the state she was in. She knew she looked bad, but he'd already seen her earlier that day when she looked two-thirds as bad. And he hadn't shied away.

She knew the moment she put the phone down, the moment she was once again alone, the moment she no longer had to pretend she was okay, it would come rushing back. All of it.

And for once in her life, she decided that was not okay.

"It's a twenty-minute drive. I'm at 435 Olive street, apartment 8. Just text me when you get here and I can let you in."

"Alright, got it."

"And um...thank you." She hoped he could hear how truly thankful she was, that this was the first time someone had done this for her because it was the first time she was allowing it.

She hated feeling weak in front of people. Even Thorne had only seen her cry once or twice, and Iko only when they were younger.

But maybe letting people see your weakness made you strong.

* * *

By the time Kai was there, Cinder had stopped shaking. She washed her cheeks and combed her hair back into a ponytail. She looked almost normal if one didn't look at the whites of her eyes or the bags underneath them. She still felt shivery, though, even if she wasn't shaking. If wind somehow found its way into her apartment, it would blow her away.

Kaito Huang 1m ago

I'm here

She found Kai standing at the front gate, breath puffing out in front of him. Nights were cold in the winter, even if it didn't snow.

As she moved to turn the handle, it struck her how weird this was. Until then, they'd only seen each other at the cafe. They chatted at lunch, but their topics were mundane. Most of their relationship was work, if you could call it a relationship at all.

Yet here he was, standing at the front gate of her apartment, waiting in the cold for her to let him in _because he was worried about her._ "Hey. Sorry for making you wait."

He walked in, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "It's fine, I'm...sorry if I pressured you into anything earlier."

She tilted her head.

"What?"

"I've been thinking, you probably didn't want to go to the library. I should have known you'd be tired, but I asked you anyway. I'm sorry if that put pressure on you."

But...wasn't it _her_ fault for agreeing? For not following through?

"It's fine."

* * *

Cinder only remembered how messy her apartment was the moment she stepped inside. It wasn't college student messy—there were no papers or clothes or instant food containers lying on the floor.

Rather, it was the mess of a mechanic.

She pushed some assorted parts to the side and shimmied the tool box out of the way.

"I'm sorry for the mess." Her cheeks were warm with embarrassment, but when she looked at Kai he seemed more fascinated than anything. He picked up a small wind up toy and played with it in his hands.

"Did you make this?"

"Um, no, I'm just fixing it."

He wound it up and put it on the floor. It didn't move. "Ah."

"Yeah, I'm a mechanic. There's this place down the street...anyway, I'll just clear the coffee table and I can get you something warm to drink?"

Her current project was on the table, a car engine her boss claimed was unfixable. She liked those kinds of projects, the ones that were supposed to be impossible.

She figured if she could fix those, she could fix other things too. Like herself.

She carefully moved it to a corner of her room and walked into the mini-kitchen.

"Tea? Hot chocolate?"

"I'll have tea, thank you."

Cinder's heart pounded. There was a boy in her apartment. And he wasn't Thorne. What had she been thinking?

 _Stop. Thinking. About. Thorne._

* * *

When she returned to sit on the floor across from him, he had found another toy to amuse himself with.

"This explains why you smell like mechanic grease some mornings," Kai mused, pushing the metal arm up and down.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh." He looked up. "That wasn't an insult. It's not a bad smell."

"A lot of people would disagree with you."

"And you...?"

Cinder smiled into her tea. "It's just another extension of me. I work at a coffee shop but the smell still doesn't come off."

Kai hummed and set down the toy. He took his tea and blew on it, then sipped it.

"How are you good at _everything,_ " he said, taking a second, longer sip. "This is really good."

"I've just had a lot of time to perfect it. I don't like coffee that much, after all."

Kai nodded. "I always thought that was weird, considering you make it so well. You're like the Beethoven of coffee makers."

"Wow, it sounds so cool when you say it that way."

"That's because you're—" He set his mug down. "—A cool person." He made finger guns and Cinder laughed.

"Thanks for the confidence boost."

They fell once more into silence. Cinder remembered why he came, and Kai must have too, because there was a new tension in the room only broken by their tea sipping.

"So um..." Kai said, putting his mug down on the table. "What's going on?"

Cinder stared at her now-empty cup of tea. How much did she want to tell him?

"I mean, it's fine if you don't tell me. Just thought you might want to share."

"Yeah, I'm just...collecting my thoughts. I'm sorry if I vent too much, this is pretty new to me."

Kai smiled. "Don't worry. It's hard to bore me."

"Business meetings and stuff, right?"

"Yeah. That about sums my life up, not to mention long lectures after lunch."

"I have pretty steep competition then."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you."

This couldn't be that hard, right? She was just sharing her life story with an almost complete stranger.

"So, um, my parents adopted Iko when I was seven. She's from Brazil, so she taught me Portuguese in exchange for me teaching her English. It was just fun and games, you know, until my dad passed away."

Cinder paused, and Kai nodded for her to continue. His eyebrows were scrunched together.

"We were eight years old. I'd never been particularly close to him or Adri—my mother—but his death seemed like the last straw for her. She exploded. She was faced with being a single mom with four children, and she was afraid and scared and didn't know what to do. I guess she thought things would be easier if she only had two daughters, so she started pretending like Iko and I weren't hers. As if we merely existed to serve her. Portuguese became our lifeline since Adri couldn't understand it."

Cinder tried to take a sip of tea before remembering her mug was empty. Kai pushed his mug over, and she took the last gulp of his tea with a nod of thanks.

"I was pretty lonely in school since Adri refused to buy me new clothing or shoes and such. I looked shabby, so the only person who stood by me was Iko. Until high school when I met Thorne." Cinder gulped.

"Wait. My roommate is named Thorne."

Cinder looked away. "Yeah. I know."

"And..."

"...Do you understand why I wanted some distance between us now?"

Kai leaned back. "Something happen between you two?"

"Yeah. We were best friends...until last night. He was my only friend, you know, besides Iko." Cinder raised her head to the ceiling, hoping her tears would stay in her eyes.

Kai nodded. He seemed to be thinking about something, but instead of speaking he stood and pulled her up by the hand.

Then he hugged her.

"I wish there was something I could do to help," he said, rubbing her back.

Cinder stiffened, but when Kai moved to pull away she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

 _"You already have."_

They stood there, drinking in each other's warmth until there was a knock at the door. Their heads swiveled, but they had no time to process what was going on before they heard the door open.

Thorne stood in the doorway, key still dangling in his hands, eyes drinking in the scene. Cinder pushed Kai away from herself, and Kai backed away slowly, unsure of what was going on.

 _No. Not this. Just when she thought she might be on her way to her happily ever after—_

"Well, well, well," Thorne said, cocking his head. "Looks like you're over me already."


	4. Part Four: One More Time

**A/N:** So it was going to end on this chapter...but it didn't feel right. I rewrote the chapter and **it's officially becoming a long fic!** I need to figure out a posting schedule, but it'll probably be once a week. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ/FAVORITED/FOLLOWED AND MOST OF ALL COMMENTED!

* * *

Cinder couldn't breathe. She'd been wrapped up in Kai's words and smiles; simply him being there made her calm, more like herself, even when she relived parts of her past that normally made her anxious. It wasn't meant to last.

Everything came back. Kai was no longer in her mind; all she knew was that Carswell Thorne stood in front of her. She knew that his hair was rumpled, that he had scruff on his chin, that his lips were dry and chapped. He was angry.

She tried to open her mouth, to say something, but there were no words to say.

Then she felt a hand on her arm. Kai was looking at Thorne with confusion, his stance protective as he took a step forward.

"Thorne," Kai said, nodding. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just visiting my _best friend_ **.** " Thorne spit the last words as if daring Kai to question them. "What I'm wondering is what _you're_ doing here."

Something finally clicked in Cinder's brain. She gasped and forced herself to steady. She removed Kai's hand from her arm and stepped around him so she could make eye contact with Thorne.

"He's here as a friend. He works at Imperial Coffee with me. I'm surprised you didn't know, since you're roommates, after all." Part of Cinder wanted to reign back, shrink into the floor, melt away until there was nothing left of her. The greater part of her wanted _fire._ "Then again, you never seemed to pay that much attention to other people."

She wanted Thorne to see the truth, for him to understand...She could _never_ see him that way. They were friends, always had.

If they couldn't be friends, she wanted Thorne to move on. If he hated her, she could lick her wounds forever but at least _he could escape._ At least he could lose hurt behind anger.

"I know I messed up last night. Cinder, you have to listen to me." Thorne reached an arm out but dropped it before it could reach her. "I'm _sorry._ I'm so, so sorry. If I knew...I wouldn't have..."

"You wouldn't have _what?_ I've known you for six years. I've known the way you flirt, the way you say words that didn't mean anything. That never bothered me too much, because _I was different._ Thorne..." Cinder turned her head away, closing her eyes. "Last night I realized I was no different from them."

"That's not how it is." Thorne reached out again, but this time he didn't stop himself. He traced her cheek with his hand, trying to force her to look at him. She kept her eyes closed.

"I can't do this," Cinder said, firmly. "I can't do this. I'm thankful you were my friend, but now it's over. You know it is. So why are you still trying?"

"One more time," Thorne said, dropping his voice. "Because I want to hear you laugh at my jokes one more time. I want to hear you say my name. I want to hold you in a hug and comfort you, one more time. Stars, Cinder, I just want to see you happy, and I want to know I'm the reason."

Cinder pulled back from Thorne's hand. Her eyes opened, and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Thorne. I know you'll find someone else. I'm not hard to replace. Just let things go. You know it's right."

"No, I don't know. I don't understand. And I can't replace you."

Cinder held her hand out. "Give me back the key, you won't be needing it anymore."

Thorne shrunk back, slipping the key into his pocket. Cinder tried not to cry.

"Give her her key back."

Cinder looked back at Kai. His voice was even, commanding. She'd never seen this side of him. His voice...how could someone refuse when he spoke like _that?_

"It wasn't yours to begin with, and she's asking for it back. I know you, Thorne. You're not a stalker. Don't start now."

Thorne shook his head and pulled the key from his pocket, tossing it at Kai's feet. "This isn't your business, Kai. But you're right: I'm not a creep. I'm _respectful_ and _genuine_ and I'll just have to hope you'll realize that, Cinder." His voice broke, and Cinder bit back a sob. She didn't know if she could say another word without bursting into tears.

"I hope you'll realize that because if you don't...I don't know where that'll leave me."

He slammed the door behind him, and Cinder stopped holding back.

* * *

Kai didn't know what he expected when he'd asked to come to Cinder's apartment. Maybe he expected to get to know her better, maybe some understanding.

He got that, but he couldn't help feeling more lost than ever as he leaned over Cinder, wondering how to make her feel better.

He wasn't her friend. No, maybe they had said that, but they were still just two people who saw each other every so often. He didn't know what to say, what she liked, what she didn't, what her boundaries were.

He didn't know what he would do when he returned to his apartment, how he would face Thorne. He could stay at his parents' the night, perhaps, but that was one night. He couldn't keep staying somewhere that was no longer his.

What a mess.

He pushed his hair back from his forehead and breathed deeply. Cinder needed him to be strong.

So he wrapped his arms around her, hoping to reach her in the darkness she'd pulled up around herself.

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," he whispered. "Everything is fine."

* * *

 _Cinder,_ he thought, as he tucked her into bed after she'd finally fallen asleep. _Who are you really?_

He'd seen another bed in the apartment, so he wrote a short note in case they came back before Cinder woke up.

Cinder needed help, and if he couldn't give it, he would find those who could.

* * *

Cress almost didn't notice the note, as tired as she was. She'd worked overtime again, and her eyes were sore from the screen's light. Only her body's lack of sleep allowed her to fall asleep at night as if it knew protesting against her sleep schedule would be suicide.

The note was on the pillow, and she felt it under her head when she laid down.

 _Dear Cinder's roommate,_

 _This is one of Cinder's friends. I'm concerned about her because she seemed very upset tonight. I don't know what you can do about it, but please take care of her if you can. I think Cinder carries more than she lets on._

 _\- Kaito_

She scrunched her eyes and watched the sleeping form on the other bed. Cinder appeared to still have her day clothes on, and she wondered if this Kaito guy had tucked her in. _What happened?_

She tried not to feel guilty. Cress and Cinder worked at adjacent shops—Cinder in mechanics and Cress in IT. However, while they were close, they hadn't had a lot of time together, since Cress often stayed late and Cinder was normally asleep by the time she was back.

Cress' life was too busy for friends outside the workplace, nowaday. It wasn't that she didn't care—because she did, as much as she depended on time alone—she simply didn't have the energy or time anymore.

Cress knew her roommate's life wasn't all cut out for her. It wasn't for Cress either, and that was how they'd bonded. Both ran away from home. Both talented, but forced to put every ounce of blood and sweat towards their future.

Back when they had more time together, they'd have conversations before going to sleep. That didn't happen anymore.

Cress realized she knew almost nothing about her roommate's current life. She sighed and set her alarm an hour earlier than usual. She needed the sleep, but she'd made up her mind.

If Cinder needed help, she had to be there. Cinder had done the same for her.

Maybe there was distance, but one thing was true: they had each other's back.

* * *

Cinder woke up to the scent of pancakes and tea. She sat up, only to find her forehead pounding. She loosed a sigh and fell back on the bed.

"Cinder, you're up!" Cress sounded strangely cheery. "I made pancakes for you before work, come get them while they're still warm!"

Cinder groaned, but slid her feet to the floor and sat up. Cress was bouncing around the kitchen, humming to herself.

"Thank you, Cress," Cinder said, sitting down at their small table. "This is really nice, I don't know the last time I had anything other than cereal for breakfast."

"It's no problem." Cress pulled up a chair for herself and plopped a pancake onto her own plate. "Plus, I realized you have a really great friend, and I needed to step up my game."

"Great friend? Who are you talking about?"

"Some person named Kaito left a note for me? He told me...um."

Cinder stopped chewing. Her stomach dropped. _Oh no_. What had Kai said? How much did Cress know?

If she wanted to drag anyone into the mess, it was anyone but Cress.

"What did he tell you?" She found her voice sharp and closed her eyes to pull herself back.

"Just that you might need some comfort. That's it." Cress' cheery smile came back. "Now hurry, we'll need to leave soon."

As soon as Cress left, Cinder kicked her shoes off her feet. There was _no way_ she was going to work today. If she'd learned anything from the day before, it was that.

Instead, she slipped back into her bed and tried to fall back asleep. She couldn't.

Her phone rang. And rang again. And again. She turned on her side and looked at the caller ID.

Iko? Why was she calling her? Normally Iko would text before calling.

She picked up.

"Iko?"

"Cinder. I-I'm—" Iko cut herself off. Cinder could hear heavy breathing. She sat up.

"Iko? What's going on?"

"It's Peony," Iko said, voice wobbling. "She's sick."


	5. Part Five: Homesick

Cinder's heart skittered.

"You said she had a fever last time you called?"

"It got worse, and now there are all these rashes..." Iko's voice dropped. "They said...they don't know what it is, but her vitals keep falling dangerously low, and...and I think you need to come home."

She. Couldn't. _Breathe._

"Cinder?" Iko's voice pitched up. "Cinder, Peony needs you. _I_ need you. I just...I hope it's not too much to ask..."

"I'm coming." _Brown, bouncing curls. Standing on tip toes, giggling and twirling and_ dreaming _. Wide, innocent eyes, fixed on the future. Peony._ Peony. "I-I'll be there as soon as I can. Please...tell her I'm coming."

" _Eu te amor_ ," Iko said.

" _Eu te amor._ " The phone went dead.

Cinder's body went limp.

* * *

Cinder didn't know how she'd make it back home. She couldn't afford a plane ticket and it was a seven-hour drive—far too long for a taxi. Perhaps if she were on speaking terms with Thorne, she _may_ have asked him to drive her, but they weren't. She could have taken a bus, but she was pretty sure she would have needed to buy a ticket in advance, and she wasn't sure how expensive those were either.

For the first time, she felt trapped in her new apartment, away from Iko, away from Peony. Distance never stopped her from seeing Iko, and she loved the freedom, the independence it granted her. She had her own worries, but at least they were free from Adri's scorn.

Now she was trapped in the place she escaped to.

"Peony," she whispered, cradling herself in her arms. "I'm coming. I'll find a way."

She pushed her hair back, turned her phone on, and scrolled through her contacts erratically. There had to be someone...

 _Mike. Thorne. Cress. Mr. Leal. Iko. Kaito._

Kai.

She stopped scrolling and hit his contact. She didn't know if he would agree, if he could really take time off of school for her own family emergency. She didn't know if she wanted him to either.

Was she taking advantage of his kindness? Only the night before, he'd...he'd...

She couldn't think about that, though, while Peony was stuck in a hospital bed. Possibly dying. She was _desperate._

His phone rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey, Cinder. How are you?"

"I'm fine. But actually...I have a huge favor to ask of you, I don't know if it's reasonable at all or anything, and I completely understand if it's too m—"

"What is it?"

Cinder took a deep breath. Steeled herself. She could do this. She could ask for help. _She could ask for help._

"My sister is in the hospital...a seven-hour drive away. I don't have a car, and I'd ask Thorne, but, um..."

"Is it serious?"

"She might..." Cinder paused. "She might be dying."

Cinder heard nothing for a few seconds and was about to say something before he responded.

"I'll be packed and ready in half an hour."

"You'll really—"

"I know what it's like. So just...hold tight. I'll be there."

"Thank you."

He hung up. She tried to process the last five minutes.

It didn't work, so she got up and started throwing a few of her possessions onto her bed to pack. She'd need to call her bosses. She'd need to leave a note for Cress. She had 30 minutes.

She had no clue how Kai was handling everything on his end, with tutoring and school and a job and possible familial obligations. But she trusted him.

How would she thank him? How could she ever pay him back?

Why was she even in this position, what about him made her want to _share?_ What about him made her call him at 10pm to come over to her place, what about him made it possible for her to fall asleep the night before, what about him made her comfortable calling him for something like this?

 _What about him?_

Spades. She was in deep.

And worst of all? She didn't regret a single damn thing.

* * *

Kai didn't know why he agreed. Kai didn't know _how_ he agreed. Looking back, he could have just offered to buy her a plane ticket, and that would've made everything a lot easier.

Cinder didn't strike him as someone who would accept money, though. Even if, for him, time was worth more.

But when he closed his eyes he saw her the way she had been the night before: scared, tired, sad. Simply thinking of her that way made his heart well up, made him wish he was by her side and there to hug all the pain out of her.

He didn't know what it was or what it meant. He had suspicions, but Cinder didn't seem to be up for dating, and he didn't blame her, what with what was happening.

He just wanted to _be there._ He couldn't explain it to her, or even himself, but the best thing she could do for him was share her burdens.

The thought of her sister dying made him want to puke. The thought of her being comfortable enough to share it with him made him want to sing.

So he put the nervous, excited, _terrified_ energy into packing and making his calls. He'd only be gone a few days, hopefully. If worst came to worst, he could fly back and then pick her up when she needed to get back.

He stuffed the last sock into his bag and swung it over his shoulder. He realized he didn't even know _where_ Cinder was driving—just that it was seven hours.

How could he miss out on such important details? He was totally out of it.

With a sigh, he got into his car and made his way to her apartment.

* * *

"So where exactly are we going?" Kai asked as Cinder sat down in shotgun.

"Los Angeles," Cinder said. "Iko sent me the address of the hospital, so we can enter that into Maps either now or when we get closer. Have you driven there before?"

"No, I normally fly places," Kai said, scratching his ear.

"I can be navigator, then. I've done it a few times."

"Alright, thanks."

"No, thank _you_."

Kai pulled out into the street and made his way towards the freeway.

* * *

Cinder hadn't brought so much as a book to amuse herself with, so she mostly stared out ahead, trying not to think about Peony's hands going limp, of the life draining from her gorgeous brown eyes. Once she glanced over at Kai, and she was distracted by a different matter entirely—behind the wheel, he looked calm, hair swept to the side and lips slightly pursed.

Or maybe he was just bored.

She forced herself to look away and back at the road. What would Peony say if she were caught staring? She cleared her throat.

"So...I hope this isn't prying, but you said you knew what it was like?"

Kai nodded, still staring ahead at the road.

"My mom. She got sick about five years ago. They didn't know what it was at the time, but it ended up being some kind of cancer. She died within the month."

"I-I..." Cinder squeezed her hands together, her stomach constricting. "I didn't know."

"I'm pretty sure it made the news when it happened, despite our efforts otherwise. Though you don't seem to be the one to listen to that kind of news."

She didn't know what to expect when she looked over, but she was surprised to find him smiling.

"It was pretty bad at first. I felt so _helpless._ I love my mom. Here she was, being taken from me...but I talked it out. I let time pass. I let myself heal. And I realized that she's somewhere, wherever that is. Whether that's here—" he tapped his chest, "—or up there."

Cinder blinked. Her eyes were wet, but she couldn't place exactly why.

"I wish I felt like that," she whispered. "I wish I _could_ feel like that. But I'm bad at moving on."

"Don't think of it as moving on," Kai said. "You don't move on. You _understand._ And you heal. There is no shame in being okay. That was the hardest thing to learn...that it's okay not to hurt."

Cinder's throat closed up. What could she say to that?

* * *

"Sorry for dampening the mood," Kai said. "What kind of music do you like? Nothing sleepy, though, since I'm driving."

Cinder didn't know how she ended up singing along to the radio with a flawless, kind guy about her age who went to a good college and had a good car and probably spent time with people much more smart and purposeful and worthy of his attention. Yet here she was, belting at the top of her lungs, listening to his voice behind her own, watching highway pass by.

She was sick. She was broken. She was worried and scared and homesick.

But at the same time...she was just a little okay.


	6. Part Six: Empty

The moment Cinder stepped into the hallway, Iko's arms were around her. She took in the feeling of her sister's warmth, something she hadn't felt in months.

"Obrigado por vir _,_ " Iko said, stepping back. _Thank you for coming._ Her braids were falling out of their bun, and Cinder pushed one of them back from her face.

"Claro que eu vim." _Of course I came._

Kai coughed. "I'll just...go find a hotel now. Call or text me when you need to be picked up."

Cinder nodded and turned back to Iko. Iko didn't ask why he was there, if he'd been the one to drive her down. Iko didn't have the energy; her heavy eyebags were only evidence. Iko _never_ had eyebags, or at least visible ones.

"How's Peony doing?" Cinder asked. The momentary excitement of seeing her sister was gone, leaving behind the cool dread she'd been pushing back for hours.

"She's stable right now, but asleep," Iko said, shaking her head. "She's been stable for a while, but they still don't know what it is and it's not improving. We haven't seen her awake since they admitted her."

"Can I see her?"

* * *

Peony's curls were spread against the pillow like rivers running over clouds. Her eyes were closed but fluttering, and her chest moved up and down gently under the covers.

Only her face was mottled red and purple.

Cinder walked closer. Her eyes stung—it was much different seeing Peony this way than hearing about it. These were not simple rashes; they were a mask.

"Peony," she whispered. She moved to reach for Peony's hand, but it was also covered in rashes. This was Peony; this was her sister. But how much of her was there, if she was asleep, if what made her herself was hard to grasp?

Cinder stroked her hand and pushed a lock of hair to the side. She tried to connect the form in the bed with the one she grew up with, the one who squealed to her about celebrities and dramas and crushes. The one who remained optimistic, yet still aware, innocent yet not ignorant. The one who never failed to give her hope, a reason to hold on.

"Eu queria que ela acordasse," Iko said from behind _._ "Eu nunca pensei..." _I wish she would wake up._ _I never thought..._

"Eu também não." _I didn't either._

The two of them stood there, gazing at Peony's sleeping form, willing her to open her eyes, to sit up. For the rashes to wash away, for the light to come back to her eyes.

Peony didn't move. She simply continued breathing, up and down.

For all they knew, this would never change.

* * *

The only time Cinder saw Adri cry was the day after her husband's death, and even then she was more angry than sad. Adri was angry he left her, angry she had two more children than she could handle. She'd have to raise them, marry them off when they got older, all on her own. She'd never worked a day in her life.

So Cinder was surprised to find Adri with red eyes when she stormed into the hospital room.

Cinder opened her mouth, already anticipating an argument. Instead, Adri walked past her and sat down next to Peony as if Cinder and Iko weren't there. She knelt over the side of the bed, grasping her daughter's hand. Her back shook. They could not see her face.

Iko lead Cinder out of the hospital room. Pearl was standing outside, leaning against the wall, face hollow. She didn't say anything either, just stared at the floor.

* * *

Kai wasn't used to booking hotels. While he'd traveled with his family a number of times, he'd never been the one choosing and paying for the hotel.

He soon discovered that, in LA, without an earlier reservation, it was near impossible to find open rooms. Not to mention he'd gotten lost...how many times? Three times? Five times? He didn't realize how much he needed Cinder navigating until he was stuck in heavy traffic and had no clue where he was.

At that point, he didn't care if he ended up with a super expensive hotel. Tutoring paid well, and he could probably borrow some money from his dad if it came to it, even if Kai was technically supposed to be more or less supporting himself for "experience."

When he stumbled upon an overpriced, almost full hotel with one room left, he booked it without a second thought.

His phone rang the second he opened the room.

"Can you pick me up soon?"

"Yeah, I'm coming. I should be there in..." He checked his phone. "Half an hour."

He pocketed the key cards, surveyed the room once more, and then took the long way down the elevator.

* * *

As soon as Cinder and Iko stepped out of the hospital, they had nothing more to say. Now they were just waiting: waiting for Peony to wake up, waiting for Kai to drive over. Cinder could tell they'd both had a rough week, and normally it was Iko's job to spring up and suggest something stress relieving.

But she wasn't. So it was Cinder's turn.

"Want to get something to eat? I haven't been down here for a while, and we have to wait for Kai anyway. When was the last time you ate something?"

Iko tilted her head. "...this morning?"

" _Ten hours ago?_ "

"That sounds about right."

Cinder shook her head and linked her arm with Iko.

"This is non-debatable. We are getting food _now._ "

"Can't argue with that logic," Iko said, walking faster as Cinder picked up her speed. "What ever would I do without you?"

"Starve, apparently."

* * *

Kai easily picked out Cinder and Iko at the deli. With Iko's bright blue hair, Kai figured she'd always be easy to spot in a crowd.

When he left them at the hospital, he could feel the tension, the anxiety gnawing at the air. They seemed relaxed here, though, and his heart lifted to see them both smiling. He was used to seeing Iko smiling; he was on edge when he found her not.

"How's it going?" He pulled up a chair at the square table.

"You're even more handsome in person," Iko said, clapping her hands together. Cinder sunk into her seat and Kai laughed.

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome." Iko batted her eyelashes, and Kai felt warmth grow in his chest—not because she was flirting with _him,_ per say, but that she was flirting at all. It was a good sign her spirits were at least temporarily raised.

"Cinder, I found a hotel room not too far away. We can go there whenever you're ready and unpack."

Iko whistled.

"It's not like that." Cinder rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

"I didn't say anything," Iko said, winking. Cinder glared.

Kai cleared his throat. "Why don't I pick up a sandwich for me to eat at the hotel and we leave now? I can drop you off too, Iko."

"We aren't staying that far away, but I can't say no to a ride."

"You should see his car, then you _really_ won't be able to decline," Cinder said.

Iko's eyes sparkled. "I believe you."

* * *

"We're staying at _this_ hotel? Do you have any idea how _expensive_ this is? How will I ever pay you back?" Cinder's heart beat faster the closer they got.

"You don't need to pay me back, I can cover it. This was the only place left with an open room."

Cinder sighed. "I guess I should have seen this coming since I grew up here. But don't tell me not to pay you back when you know that I will. Just maybe not...right away."

"Right. You've always been stubborn." Kai smiled, and Cinder was angry until she caught his expression.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Good. I meant it as one."

Together they took their few bags from the car to the hotel room. Cinder felt uncomfortable with the pristine tan quilts, the painting on the wall, the long window that gave them a view of the busy city below. She felt dirty, out of place. Kai looked at home.

"Which bed do you want?" Kai asked, sliding his shoes off. He didn't even pass a second glance at the large TV, or the coffee maker, or the mini kitchen they walked through to reach the beds. Cinder could only image how fancy the bathroom had to be, not to mention the pool, as a place like this surely had one. Even if they were in LA, where the drought hit them hard.

"I'll take this one." She sat on the one farthest away from the window. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with all the pillows piled up on it; she'd only ever used one.

"Are you sure? This one has a great view."

"I'm sure."

Cinder bounced her leg up and down. She suddenly felt awkward. It was a strange feeling since she hadn't felt awkward being alone with him before. What changed?

Kai cleared his throat. "Is this okay? I would have booked two rooms if it was possible, but..."

Cinder shook her head. She was being ridiculous; this wasn't much different than her other sleeping arrangements. Except Kai was a guy who had once upon a time asked her out. How distant that seemed now.

"It's fine. This is less expensive anyway, and we probably wouldn't have been able to get adjacent rooms this short notice."

Kai nodded. "I'll, um, just take first shower then, if that's okay."

"It's okay, I normally take later showers anyway."

Kai nodded again. Paused. And then pulled his clothing bag with him to the bathroom.

Cinder sighed and flopped all the way onto the bed. The mattress was unbelievably comfy, the pillows fluffy and light. When she closed her eyes, she couldn't tell how exactly out of place she was, just that for once her muscles seemed to relax.

When her phone rang, it was with only slight reluctance that she picked it up and answered. She didn't bother sitting up, though; this was the most comfortable she'd been in a while.

"Hey, Cress."

"Cinder! Where are you?!"

Cinder startled, holding the phone away from her ear.

"I'm in LA. I'm alright."

She heard a relieved sigh and felt guilty. She should've left more information before, but she had been pressed for time that morning.

"What happened? Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"It's just a family emergency. I'll be back in no more than three days since I can't leave work for too long. I had my phone on silent, sorry."

"It's fine. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks for checking in, Cress."

"And, um..." Her voice grew quieter. "Thorne's here too."

" _What?"_ Cinder sat up. "I mean, um, what is he doing there?"

"I-I'm sorry but I told him when you left because I knew you had a fight and I was concerned—"

Cinder considered throwing her phone off the bed.

"He wants to talk to you. He's been really worried about you too. I-I think you should listen to him."

"Tell him not to worry, and I don't want to talk to him. I'm not his concern anymore."

"Cinder—"

"No."

"But he—"

"No."

She hung up. Instead of being relieved at avoiding Thorne, she felt guilty for hanging up on Cress. Cress must have gone back to the apartment at lunch, found the note, called Thorne, and then waited there for hours until she picked up. The least Cinder could do was listen.

But she was tired. So, so tired. Her heart skipped a beat whenever she thought about Peony and dropped when she thought of Thorne.

She had trouble falling asleep most nights. She had even more trouble napping.

Yet here she was falling asleep on the bed. Her usual racing thoughts were gone.

Now she was just empty.


	7. Part Seven: Calm

When Cinder got up in the morning, she noticed there was no sleeping form in the other bed. It was only 7 AM—she must have woken up at that time on instinct. Had Kai woken even earlier than her? Where was he?

She decided it was too early in the morning to answer such questions and instead took her things to the bathroom since she hadn't showered the night before.

When she came out of the bathroom, she found Kai sitting cross-legged on his bed eating a scone. He smiled at her and pointed at a steaming cup of tea and another scone on the bedside table.

"I went out and got us some breakfast, I hope you like blueberry scones."

"Um, that's...thank you." She picked up the scone and tea, noticing Kai had somehow put in the exact amount of sugar and milk she preferred. He was more observant than she gave him credit for.

"You can sit there too," Kai said, pointing at her bed. "I want to talk about today. We're in LA, after all."

"What?" Cinder sat down, tilting her head.

"Well, you see, I've never been down here for anything other than work. I'm also pretty sure you have a lot to get off your mind. So I propose you take me sightseeing."

" _Sightseeing?"_

"Only if that's okay with you. How much do you plan to visit Peony today?"

"Well...there's not a lot I can do, and I want to avoid Adri and Pearl as much as possible. So maybe just once, unless something comes up. What you don't understand is I know about as much about sightseeing in LA as you."

"Didn't you grow up here?"

"To be honest, I barely went anywhere out of our neighborhood."

"Hmm, okay. Any suggestions, though?"

"I guess the beaches here are better than those in NorCal," Cinder conceded.

"So I've heard."

"And the Getty is _amazing._ "

"You? Like an art museum?" Kai cocked his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just surprised."

"Just because I'm a mechanic doesn't mean I can't appreciate something beautiful when I see it."

"Point taken."

Kai took the last bite of his scone and finished chewing before he continued speaking.

"Alright, we can go to the beach this morning, hopefully beating the crowds. We can have lunch out somewhere nearby, and then we can go to the Getty. I don't know the hours, but I can check that while you finish eating."

Cinder nodded, and Kai got up from the bed and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Cinder asked. Kai poked her cheek and she blinked.

"Try to at least act excited about this, okay? I'm doing this for you, I want you to enjoy yourself today. Got it?"

He was about to walk out when Cinder called after him.

"But _why?"_

"Because, _as your new and most loyal friend,_ I know there's a lot you're dealing with. Why not?"

Cinder considered giving him a hundred reasons. _Because I'm already in debt enough. Because it's unfair for me to be happy while my sister is sick. Because honestly, I want to sink through the floor and cease to exist._

It would be rude to disagree, though. And as much as she was doubtful at exactly how much her mood could peak that day, she couldn't ruin it for him as well.

So as he walked out the door, she remained silent.

* * *

Kai walked back into the room just as she was taking the last gulp of tea. He was sporting shorts, sunglasses, and a tank top with the words "I 3 LA" in surfer font, all clearly bought from the hotel souvenir shop downstairs.

He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head and smiled.

"I realized I didn't bring any beachy clothing with me, so I bought some."

Cinder took a second to process before she put her empty cup down and started laughing.

"You do realize it's probably too cold to even go in the water?" she said, still grinning.

"So? I'm a tourist, might as well dress the part. Here, I even got you some too."

"You _what?"_

Kai pulled a matching "I 3 LA" tank top and sunglasses from the bag at his arm.

"I didn't know what size you were so I just got a medium." He threw them at her.

She caught the tank-top and sunglasses with surprise, eyeing them warily.

"I'm not even a tourist."

"You are today. Plus, it was buy-one-get-one-free. So..."

Cinder shook her head in bemusement but took the shirt anyway and walked to the bathroom. She almost started laughing again when she saw herself in the mirror. She avoided wearing tank tops for one main reason—her arms were far bulkier than most of her female, or even male, counterparts. Iko had always claimed it was attractive, but her classmates teased her for it. Yet here she was, in a cheap tourist tank top, and she was weirdly fine with it.

Kai started clapping in amusement when she walked out.

"No one will ever know you're a local. But wait, you're not wearing the sunglasses!"

Cinder laughed and dropped the shades over her eyes.

"Happy?"

"Yeah, you look like you just walked out from Hollywood."

"With these shades, I could be _anyone."_ Cinder spread her arms out for effect.

"And yet, you're Cinder, and we need to go to the beach before it looks like a concert."

"The beaches don't get _that_ busy, especially not off season."

Kai placed his sunglasses back over his eyes and raised an eyebrow. "Say that once we get there."

* * *

Cinder was right: on the cold, windy winter day at 8:30 AM, they were some of the only ones on the beach.

Cinder closed her eyes, letting the wind buffet her hair. Back in high school on days she really couldn't imagine going to school, she'd take the bus out and walk along the shore. There was something therapeutic about the wet sand between her toes, the sun over the water.

She knew LA beaches weren't the cleanest, but she couldn't help but admire the salty scent, the foam cresting each wave. The ocean didn't judge her. The ocean didn't care who she was. The ocean was bigger than that.

And in those moments, she was bigger too. Big enough not to care about what would meet her when she got home.

"It's a little colder than I thought it would be," Kai said, arms crossed over his chest. "I'll get my jacket from the car. Want me to get yours too?"

"No, I'm fine."

Cinder took her shoes off and placed them on the sand. Kai could follow her when he got back.

She walked forwards, shivering but calm. The cold air woke her up; the salty air shocked her into peace. She reached the waves and squatted down to let her fingers skim one before it receded back.

"I missed you," she whispered. "Though you didn't miss me."

She then heard the sound of feet moving quickly over sand and turned her head to see Kai running to where she sat, bundled up in his thick jacket.

"Come on, it's not _that_ cold," Cinder said, standing to face him.

"Just because you seem unaffected doesn't mean I'm not," Kai said. "I thought LA was supposed to be _warmer_."

"We do have a lot of warm days during the winter, but you'd have to come during summer to be sure."

"But then there would be too many people."

"Then you're stuck with the cold, second-rate days."

Cinder hummed to herself and walked slowly farther down the beach. A wave washed up and she stood still, letting it tickle her ankles. Her feet sunk into the sand, but when the water returned to the ocean it parted around her feet, creating an island that dissolved once the next wave hit. If you looked the right way, it was almost like _you_ were the one moving.

She looked up when two feet planted themselves next to hers.

"What are you doing here, Kai? The water's freezi—"

She was cut off by a yelp as the next wave reached them. She fought off a laugh as Kai scurried away.

"What were you thinking?" She yelled to reach him where he was on the dry sand, smiling despite herself. "You _know_ how cold the ocean is."

Kai shook his head and laid back against the sand. Cinder turned back to the water and stepped a little deeper. And a little deeper. She was wearing jeans, and she rolled them up to her knees, then as high as she could. The ocean was _cold,_ but she became numb to it the deeper she got.

She stopped once the water level peaked just above her knees, letting her arms raise to her sides. Her hair whipped behind her, in her face, across her cheeks. She'd have to tie it up when she got back to the car, but right now she didn't mind.

She was reminded of a young fifteen-year-old with an unappreciative mom, few friends, no freedom. She was reminded of anger, of helplessness. She was reminded of childish dreams and the feelings when each of those dreams was crushed. She was reminded of Peony, who, like the waves, came and went.

As much as she loved Peony, she wasn't perfect either. But she forgave her. She forgave her mother for the horrible things she did. She forgave Pearl for acting snotty, forgave her classmates for teasing her. She forgave Thorne too.

She breathed in. She breathed out.

And she forgave herself.

* * *

"You've been...different since the beach," Kai said as they drove towards the city. They were going back to the hotel before finding somewhere for lunch since their clothing was saturated in sand.

"I just like the ocean," Cinder said, looking out the window. "It makes me feel calm."

"I guess I've never gone to that many beaches since most are rocky where I live, and I've always been busy. I'll admit that wasn't the most enlightening experience, but I'm glad it helped you."

Cinder nodded and fell back into silence. Kai observed she was still wearing the tank top he bought her. How could she have not frozen out there? It was beyond his scope of knowledge.

"What type of food do you want to get for lunch?" Kai asked, watching her face in the mirror. There was something attractive about the windswept hair, the gaze that stared through, not at.

The first time he asked her out, it was partially out of curiosity. He'd never been attracted to someone before. He'd always been so _distant._ Part of him had been scared of her leaving then. She was less likely to break connection with him if they were dating, right?

It was probably a good thing she turned him down. It was foolish of him to be so forward so early since they'd barely known each other then. He still felt a pang when he thought about it, though. It was a reminder that everything could be one sided.

"I don't really care what we eat for lunch, surprise me."

But they knew each other now, right? He'd even met her family if he could call her mother and sister family. He'd been on a seven-hour drive, shared a hotel room, gone to the beach with her, and held her while she cried.

He didn't want to hurt Cinder. She was going through a lot, and he didn't want her to think he was only interested in her to date. But on the other hand, if by the end of these three days, she seemed better, and maybe ready for a relationship, would he really say nothing?


	8. Part Eight: View

**A/N:** I'm traveling from tomorrow to Saturday, so it's an early update this week! Enjoy the fluff, overly long descriptions, and cliffhanger~

* * *

Cinder felt oddly proud when Kai oohed and awed at the tram system.

"I thought the Bay Area had pretty good public transportation, what's so special about this one?" Cinder asked. She hadn't needed to go very many places in NorCal yet, though she'd taken a few buses and the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) once. She wasn't used to it, and it didn't often cross her mind to use either since the public transportation in LA was so poor. So the fact Kai would be impressed by this one seemed weird, but gratifying. As much as she tried to escape it, SoCal was very much still hers.

"It's less crowded, no one's blasting loud music, and this tram has a _view_ ," Kai said, pointing a finger down the mountain at the city sprawled out beneath them. In the distance, more mountains faded into the bright afternoon sky.

"Now that I think about it, you probably have someone driving you around most of the time anyway, right?"

Kai nodded. "Yeah, but often public transportation is faster. At least Bart. You should know by now traffic's not super great where we live either."

"True. I guess I haven't been around much yet."

"Do you know anyone in the area?"

"Besides Cress, my boss, and some fellow employees? Not really. I know how to get to the places I need to go, but not much else."

"What about Thorne?"

Cinder stiffened. "What about him?"

"He hasn't taken you around places either?"

"He would take me back from work when it got dark, but we didn't really go a lot of places with each other. We were both busy."

Kai could tell he'd hit a nerve. He regretted it only a little, though; it was pretty clear to him that Cinder and Thorne needed to make up. Maybe Cinder thought she had fully distanced herself, but Kai could tell she wasn't over him. Not really.

Friendship was often something you didn't notice the importance of until it was taken away from you.

"You know what I love about museums?" Kai said, trying to pass by the tension.

"What?"

"The museum itself is art. I'm only a little fan of art myself, but the buildings always make it worth it."

"I agree." Cinder nodded, then smiled and looked up the mountain towards where the Getty had to be. "But you won't know what you're talking about until you see this one."

* * *

"Wow," Kai said when he stepped out of the tram.

"Wow is right."

The placed they stepped into was made of white stone. Though the buildings were still for the most part out of view, what he _could_ see was modern and made him feel like he was at a resort for the very rich and sophisticated. Despite there being other people around them, the space felt open, not cramped.

Cinder lead him up the stairs past a Greek sculpture to the top. He saw the buildings now, and he didn't know anything about architecture, but in that moment he wished he did only to describe what his eyes were seeing.

"This is unfair," he said, looking up and around. In the distance he could see a fountain gurgling over rocks. The entire place was made of the same white stone, except for the buildings, though they were still the same color. The issue with white buildings was that they were quick to show dirt, but it was clear these ones were taken good care of.

"What is unfair?"

"That anyone who lives in LA can come here anytime."

Cinder laughed. "And you haven't even seen the gardens."

* * *

Kai wanted to explore _everything._ They went through a couple exhibits, but instead of taking their time with the art Kai would walk through them.

"Don't you want to look at the art?" Cinder asked, noticing the museum staff giving them weird looks.

"This might be my only chance to come here," Kai said, stepping into the next room. "I want to see _everything_."

"You should come on a warm, summery weekday."

"Are those better?"

"Mmm. I admit I find the summer can be hot at times, and I do enjoy cold weather more for the most part, but there's nothing better than a sunny day sitting on the grass. It tends to be less busy on weekdays, so while there are still other people, it feels even more intimate. Kind of like it's a special place you and only a few other people share."

"So you normally go to the garden?"

"Kind of, I admit I've only been a few times. The first time was on a field trip, a long time ago. The other times Thorne and I came. It used to be a tradition we had on the last day of school. Iko came sometimes too, but she had her own friends at that point."

Kai tilted his head. She seemed more relaxed here when before she'd closed up at any mention of Thorne. It was nice, seeing this wistful side of her.

As they exited the gallery, Cinder stopped Kai before he located yet another door to pass through.

"Seriously, let's go to the gardens before it gets dark. It's actually really pretty at night too, but it's different. Since it's winter the sun will set in an hour."

"Alright."

"And...the sunset is also really nice. Since the view is so great."

Kai nodded. "Then let's go."

They went down the long flight of spiral stairs to the gardens, walking out onto sloping, short green grass. There were lots of people sitting out on it, families and friends and couples alike, but Kai wasn't looking at them. He was looking at the view.

"This place is just full of surprises, huh?"

"I did tell you."

Cinder lead him down the path to the pond. Water circulated down a waterfall on one side, and in the center of the water, bushes grew in the shape of a maze. Kai could only imagine how much maintaining had to go into it.

"This is one of the those that's even prettier at night," Cinder said, watching the waterfall. "At night they light it up, and it looks a little like falling fire."

"I didn't know you're a poet."

Cinder smiled. "Only for things I care about."

They walked around it once, then back into the trees. The path was bordered on both sides by plants, and a small man-made creek intersected with their path and then ran alongside it.

"You know, Thorne and I saw a skunk here once. It was night, so most of what we could see were its eyes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Thorne screamed really loudly."

Kai imagined Thorne screaming. It wasn't very hard.

"And you?"

"I named it."

"You _what?"_

"I was maybe fourteen at the time. Don't look at me that way."

"Okay, but what did you name it?"

Cinder looked away, now regretting that she'd agreed to recount the story.

"Stinky."

"Wait, did you say fourteen or four?"

Cinder laughed and punched him in the arm. Kai rubbed where she punched him; it was harder than she probably thought.

" _Ow._ "

"You kind of walked into that one," Cinder said, though she didn't seem very angry. Stars above, Cinder was so different when she was happy. He didn't know how long it would last, seeing as they would visit Peony as soon as they got back, but he had to appreciate it. It was good seeing her this way, for once.

* * *

As soon as the sun started to set, they got themselves dinner from the cafe and took it out to the grass. There was a musician playing music nearby, and children ran around the grass while their parents sat and listened. There was something peaceful about observing these things without fully being a part of them.

Then the sun dipped far enough down the horizon to throw its color against the sky. They ate their food in silence as the sky turned to orange and pink and what few clouds were in the sky caught the light to shine like gold.

But even that came to pass, and by the time they finished eating, the colors had left them to shadows and artificial light.

"We'll leave soon, right? I don't want to get back too late, I told Iko I'd be there at 7:30 or 8."

Kai nodded. "Sure. Let's just walk around the garden one time, and then we can leave."

* * *

Cinder was right, Kai thought as they walked around the pond. With the way the waterfall caught the light, it did look like fire. It was almost ironic, really, that two opposites could look so much alike.

Even with the beauty, he found himself getting sleepy. He'd stood up for hours, and as much as he loved spending time with Cinder, it had still been a long day. Hopefully, Cinder would talk to him while he was driving back so that he wouldn't fall asleep. He'd drink caffeine, but he knew he'd stay up all night if he did.

The tram ride back only made him more sleepy, but when he saw Cinder she looked less sleepy and more nervous. She was bouncing her leg against the floor and fiddling with the hotel key in her hand, turning it over and over.

Kai reached out a hand and placed it over hers, stopping the movement.

"It'll be alright, Cinder. Peony's held on this long, and Iko would have called you if something changed."

Cinder nodded, but as soon as he took his hand away she continued fiddling. He wasn't surprised. No amount of assurance could help when it was someone you really cared about.

He'd done as much as he could that day, after all. He couldn't make her feel better all the time, but it was worth it if he could some of the time.

The drive to the hospital was tense. Even Kai was worried, despite knowing nothing had most likely changed. But what if it had? What then?

He was no longer sleepy, but wide awake.

As soon as they arrived, Cinder got out and immediately walked inside. Kai stayed in the car and wondered what he should do. He didn't want to go too far away, so he found the local Imperial Coffee and sat at one of the tables, making calls. He was missing a lot, though his father seemed to strangely support his decision to go. Kai almost wondered if he dad didn't want him to be back, but didn't know why that would be.

Or maybe Rikan just understood what it was like to be in love.

Kai sighed. It had been a while since he lost his mom, and while it was true he was fine for the most part, sometimes it returned to him. He could tell his father really cared for her, and Kai had himself.

The last thing he would wish on Cinder was what had happened to himself.

* * *

"Aí está você, irmã," Iko said, greeting Cinder as she walked into the hospital room. _There you are, sister._

"Onde está o Adri?" Cinder asked, pulling up another chair and sitting next to Iko. _Where is Adri?_

"Ela nos evita tanto quanto você a evita. Não se preocupe." _She avoids us as much as you avoid her. Don't worry._

Peony looked the same as she had the day before. The rashes were still there, and they made Cinder feel queasy. Her sister was not supposed to look that way.

"Vou jantar se você for vigiar aqui," Iko said, getting up. _I'm going to go get dinner if you'll keep watch here._

The door closed behind her, and Cinder was left alone with her sister. She switched chairs and took Peony's hand, feeling a sense of relief to feel her heartbeat through her wrist.

And then Peony opened her eyes.


	9. Part Nine: Daring

**A/N: AN EXTRA LONG UPDATE FOR AN EXTRA LONG WAIT! Have fun~ *throws sparkles***

* * *

Cinder stood shocked, her grip on Peony's hand tightening. Her sister's lips were dry and cracked, but she moved them to speak, and Cinder leaned in to listen.

"Cinder...is it really you?"

Cinder blinked, surprised to find tears already collecting in her eyes. Peony's voice was so soft, so far away...even next to each other, Cinder could feel the distance. And she was helpless.

"It's me, Peony. I came as soon as I..." Cinder gulped.

Peony smiled, but Cinder saw that tears were rolling down her cheeks as well, staining the plain white pillow beneath her head.

"You...came for me?"

"Of course. I'll always come for you. You're my...You're my Peony. I _need_ you."

Peony's hand slipped from Cinders, and her eyes closed, but the tears that continued to fall proved that she was still awake.

"You came for me..." Peony whispered. "After...everything..."

Cinder wanted to say something. She wanted to bundle the small girl into her arms and carry her away, far away. Peony didn't deserve this. Peony didn't deserve anything but happiness. _Peony deserved to live._

No words came out. Because some things were not describable in words.

Then the door opened, doctors pushing past her, and Cinder stepped back, shaking.

"Please wait outside," a doctor told Cinder, and one second she was there, next to Peony, and the next she was out with the door closed.

Iko ran up, breathless. "What's going on? I was walking down the hall and then—"

"Peony opened her eyes," Cinder said. "And woke up."

"She _what?"_ Iko's grip on her hospital salad weakened, and only a steadying hand from Cinder kept it from falling to the ground. She placed it on the ground beside them. Iko's eyes were wider than Cinder had ever seen them before.

"She's awake. Her voice...was so weak."

"What did she say?"

"She didn't say a lot," Cinder said, tilting her face to hide her expression. When she looked back up, she found Iko's lips wobbling, eyes glistening. Iko leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Cinder, pulling her into a tight hug.

Iko cried into Cinder's shoulder, and Cinder patted the back of her head. Iko sobbed harder.

"It's been s-so hard, Cinder," she said, shaking in Cinder's arms. "Without you, sometimes I felt like I was a ghost in that house, as if I-I didn't exist and then Peony was sick and..."

Cinder's stomach dropped. She loved being free from Adri, but she hadn't considered the pain she'd caused by leaving.

"I don't even have anyone to talk to in Portuguese anymore," Iko sobbed. "It's like p-part of me was gone when you left."

Cinder pulled back, watching Iko's tears still falling. She brushed one of Iko's braids away from her face. How long had Iko been holding this in? How long had Iko kept this contained?

"I didn't want to leave you," Cinder said. "That was never my goal. My goal was to leave _them,_ to even leave who I used to be. I wanted to start over. I know that makes me selfish, and I can't expect you to forgive me for leaving you behind." Cinder let her hands drop and squeezed Iko's hands. "But I'm here for you, and I always will be, and when you leave too, I hope I will be the first one you turn to. Because you are my sister, always will be, and..." Cinder shook her head. "I don't know if I've said this to you enough, but I love you, Iko. And I always will."

Iko hiccuped and buried her head once more in Cinder's shoulder.

"You're so damn _sappy_ ," Iko said, laughing even as she kept crying. "And I love you too."

* * *

It was over an hour later by the time Cinder texted Kai to pick her up. He'd almost been expecting the worst—why else would she spend an hour without a word? But no, when he reached her in front of Peony's hospital room, Cinder looked okay.

Kai recognized eyes red from crying, but Cinder smiled and waved when she saw him. Iko was next to her, and they were both sitting with their backs against the wall, sharing earbuds plugged into Cinder's phone.

Kai smiled back, relieved, and stood in front of them with his jacket folded over his arm.

"How are things?" he asked. Cinder snatched the earbuds from their ears, stood up, and helped Iko up next to her.

"Peony woke up," Cinder said. "She seems to be stable still, so that's is a good sign. They still won't let us see her, though, and..." She glanced at her phone. "It's getting late. Iko hasn't been sleeping enough. It's okay if Iko stays in our hotel room tonight, right? I don't trust her to get eight hours of sleep without me keeping an eye on her."

Iko rolled her eyes. "She's being overprotective. Cinder, I'm _fine._ "

"Yeah, and the bags under your eyes are a figment of my imagination. It looks like you haven't slept in a _week_."

Kai couldn't help but agree. Iko's eyes were red, her hair was frazzled, and her eye bags were severely prominent.

"It's completely fine with me if Iko stays," Kai said. "I don't know if the hotel is fine with that, but it's not like they need to know."

Cinder smirked. "Leaving the Bay Area is making you rebellious."

Kai shook his head. "Maybe you just didn't know me well enough before."

The hotel room was uncomfortable for Kai. The main lights were off, but Iko and Cinder were sitting cross-legged on Cinder's bed playing with a deck of cards. They were giggling and laughing and chatting and they were _not sleeping._ He guessed he couldn't have expected anything else, considering how long the two girls had been separated.

For some reason, he'd been under the delusion they'd actually sleep when Cinder accused Iko of staying up.

He groaned and rolled over, back now to them. Renewed laughter came from the bed.

"Want to join us?" Cinder asked. "Egyptian War is more fun with three people anyway."

"You know what I want to?" Kai said, turning back to face them. His eyes were only half open. "I want to sleep."

Iko tsked. "Haven't you ever—"

"Wanted to—" Cinder picked up.

"Know what it's like—"

"To go to a teenage girls' sleepover?" Cinder finished, and the two laughed and high-fived, the bed bounding with their movement.

"First of all, only one of you is a teenager, though you're surely both acting as ones. Secondly, I'm glad you're both so happy. Truly. But could it be at any other time _besides_ 2:30 in the morning?"

"There is no time like 2 am," Iko said, holding a finger up as if this were a deep observation.

"Nope," Cinder said, gravely, shaking her head. "No time compares to 2 am."

"Except 3 am," Iko added.

"And 4 am."

"But not 5 am," Cinder said, making a disgusted face. "5 am is a gross hour and should not be allowed to exist."

Kai groaned again and rubbed his forehead. "If I join you, will you promise to go to sleep at 3:30?"

Iko and Cinder made eye contact.

Cinder shrugged. "Sure. 4 am isn't actually that good anyway."

* * *

Kai wasn't sure how they ended up playing truth or dare. Even less, he didn't know how it ended up being 3:50 am with none of them anywhere near sleep.

They'd played Egyptian War for a full hour, though it was more like Cinder and Iko played for an hour. Kai had never played before, and while they had taught him how, it was clear the two of them a lot more practice and pretty soon he was out of cards with no hope of getting any back.

The final battle had been intense, with plot twists, excited cheering, and sabotage. Kai wasn't sure if they were even playing by the rules anymore, but he didn't mind because the night had made him drunk and he found himself amused by each new development.

Of course, he soon discovered he was just as bad at Truth and Dare as Egyptian War.

"Truth or dare?" Kai asked Iko, having no clue what he'd say if she picked either one.

"Dare!" she said with confidence, raising her head in a challenge. Iko thought choosing anything other than dare was to wimp out. Cinder thought the opposite. Kai wasn't sure what to think yet.

"Umm," Kai said, closing his eyes. "Uhhh..." Cinder and Iko snickered. "Why don't you...sing your least favorite song loudly?"

"You cheated. That's a truth _and_ a dare."

Cinder shook her head. "No, it's not."

"Yes it _is._ If you're going to have that as your dare, you're going to have the specify the song yourself."

Kai groaned. "Why can't I be vague? I'm no good at this game."

"Then just give her an easy dare," Cinder said. "They're all easy anyway."

"At least they're not truths," Iko said.

Kai had seen them childish before, but this was the first time he'd seen them act like _this._ He wasn't sure he liked it, but he wasn't sure he disliked it either. They seemed so comfortable, so happy, even if they were only going to be together another day before Cinder and Kai had to drive back.

"Alright," Kai said. "I dare you to count to three hundred and not say any other words until you've finished."

Cinder oohed dramatically and Iko made to open her mouth before she closed it again, remembering the rules of the dare.

"One," Iko started, under her breath. "Twothreefourfivesixseven—"

"What was that?" Cinder said. "Hmmm...5? 9? 23?"

Iko cursed.

"You spoke!" Kai said. "Start over!"

Iko growled and started over. Once she was in the forties, Cinder talked over her again, saying random numbers out loud to make her lose count. Kai soon chimed in, and by the time Iko had reached 300, Cinder and Kai were out of breath from laughing and Iko was ready to murder.

"You're jerks. The both of you," Iko said, crossing her arms. "Maybe you're suited for each other after all."

Cinder was still wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. One of Kai's arms was loosely around her shoulders, though neither of them remembered when it'd gotten there.

"Your _expression_." Cinder huffed, trying not to let her laughter bubble up again. " _Priceless_."

"You know what's going to be priceless?" Iko said, still sulking. "Your screams of apology when you realize just how awful you both are."

Kai was chuckling again. Cinder had never seen him laugh so much in her life; it must have been the early hour. They were all more vulnerable, in every way possible.

* * *

Iko and Cinder made up not long after, but Cinder knew Iko was planning something behind those golden eyes of hers. Iko did know how to forgive.

She also knew how to get revenge.

So Cinder was not the least surprised when Iko chose Cinder to ask, "Truth or dare?"

Before, Cinder hadn't so much as paused before declaring "truth." But that's what Iko was assuming she would pick, right? So there was no way Cinder could fall into her trap. She could think of at least four questions that would ruin her life if asked, or at least make her die of embarrassment, and Iko probably knew at least half of them.

"Dare."

Cinder only realized her mistake once Iko's eye glint grew maddening bright. _Oh no._ Somehow, Cinder had walked into her trap anyway.

Iko's voice was smug as she opened her mouth, crossed her arms, and said the two words that made Cinder want to dive under the covers and never see anyone ever again.

"Kiss Kai."

Cinder pushed her panic down. Iko couldn't see exactly how scared she was. Cinder was pretty sure this was much worse than any counting could have been, even if they did tease her. Leave it to Iko to take revenge to the next level.

She was suddenly very aware of the arm Kai still had around her shoulders. She didn't dare look at him, though at the same time she wanted to see his expression.

"That's easy," Cinder declared. She took Kai's other hand and only hesitated moments before lightly pressing a kiss to his knuckles, dropping his hand the second her lips left his skin.

"Nope," Iko said in a sing-song voice. "Doesn't count."

Cinder groaned. "It's your own fault for not specifying."

"No, it's not. You didn't give me a chance. I was _about_ to."

Cinder threw her hands in the air. "Fine."

"If it's not on the lips, it doesn't count," Iko said.

"Any other ridiculous rules for me?" Cinder said, trying to keep herself from visibly shaking.

"Nope," Iko said. "Except you have to do it within the next five minutes, or you'll owe me _big time._ "

Cinder finally looked at Kai. He seemed oddly pensive. She couldn't tell if he was blushing, but she knew _she_ was. She only hoped her face was just as obscured by the light as his.

She gripped her hands together, wringing them.

"Iko, this is...you know I've never—" Cinder stopped mid-sentence, realizing what she was about to admit in front Kai. He didn't know she'd never kissed anyone on the lips, or that she'd never even been on a real date. No, he did not need to know that.

By the evil way Iko was smiling, it was clear she knew what Cinder was thinking.

"You've never what?" Iko said.

Cinder took a shaky breath. She felt warmth leave her and found Kai had removed his arm from around her.

"You don't have to," Kai whispered. "The worst thing that can happen is you lose."

Cinder wasn't very competitive, except when it came to Iko. She couldn't lose to her sister. Not that way.

"I can't lose," Cinder said. "But I also can't…I don't think I…"

Slight hurt flashed in Kai's eyes, but it quickly hid behind more understanding. Stars, this guy was going to be her end. Did he have to be so nice, even now?

"Iko, this is stupid," Cinder said.

"You know what's stupid?" Iko said. "Not completing an oh-so-easy dare. And look! You have three minutes left!"

Cinder faced Kai. She could do it. She licked her lips cautiously and looked at his face, at his beautiful eyes and hair and nose and lips and cheeks and _stars above,_ she almost wanted to kiss him, dare or not.

But that made it worse. Because if she kissed him...would he be able to tell? That maybe, just maybe, there was more behind it?

"Two minutes," Iko said, clucking her tongue.

Kai leaned forward, but not to kiss her; instead, his lips were by her ear, whispering.

"Honestly, Cinder, you don't have to do it if you don't want to." He leaned back slightly, letting her see his eyes.

Cinder shook her head. "I'll do it. I just...don't know how." Cinder could almost swear he smiled at that.

"One minute."

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Cinder?" Kai asked.

She gripped her hands tighter, but she nodded. He leaned back farther.

"Ten," Iko said. "Nine. Eight."

And then Kai leaned forward again, took her face in his hands, and kissed her.


	10. Part Ten: Knots

**A/N:** IC HIT 20K AND 10 PARTS! Thank you to all readers and A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO COMMENTERS, YOU'RE THE REASON I WRITE~

In celebration, I made a Cinder x Kai Imperial Coffee fanmix called **Meet In The Middle**. Please listen to it, it took me a billion hours to create! *falls over*

 **THE LINKS DON'T WORK IN A DOCUMENT SO THEY ARE ON MY PROFILE PAGE!**

Also, I thought I'd take this chance to ask if guest commenters enter some sort of u/n or something? Like literally it can be a single number or a keyboard smash, but I'd LOVE to be able to link comments together and see who's a new reader, old reader, and all! Thank you so much~

* * *

His lips were gone just as soon as they were there. His hands lingered on her cheeks, but they soon too pulled back. It was a phantom kiss; it was almost as if it had never happened.

Except Cinder's lips were tingling and her cheeks were warm and it _had_ happened _._ She knew because she'd forgotten to close her eyes; she knew because for that second, his lips had been there, and they'd been warm and uncertain.

She didn't know what to say, so she didn't speak and avoided making eye contact.

"Now I feel really bad," Iko said, breaking the silence. "I didn't think you'd actually do it."

Cinder's cheeks were _definitely_ burning.

"I..." Cinder started, then trailed off. She turned her back to them and started crawling under the covers. "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

"You can't just leave us like that!"

Cinder's stomach was in knots. She didn't know how she felt. She didn't want to feel at all. She wanted to melt into the sheets, cease to be there, in between her sister and her...her.. _.friend_.

She. Wanted. To. Be. Alone. She wanted to _leave_.

* * *

Iko and Kai exchanged a look. Iko could see concern in Kai's eyes; was he worried she was angry? Did he think he'd messed up?

Iko couldn't quite read Cinder sometimes. She worried about Cinder more than she admitted out loud. Cinder had always been independent, able to stand up for herself and pick her own fights. But Cinder was also cryptic, withdrawn at times. Iko had always been good at crying her problems out and moving on, but Cinder internalized them in a way that made Iko nervous.

So she couldn't tell if Cinder was sad, or angry, or embarrassed, or simply tired because it was after 4 am and the stress on both of them was an ever-present weight, even when they tried to forget about it.

Iko moved to crawl under the covers too, but then Kai caught her eyes. She tilted her head questioningly but began to slip from the bed.

He pointed at the door and walked towards it. They were both still in their pajamas, but Iko only hesitated a second before walking out after him.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" Kai said after the door closed behind her. He was leaning against the wall, hands over his eyes.

Iko didn't know what to say. She leaned on the other side of the door, looking at the wall opposite her.

"I'm sorry," Iko said. "I really shouldn't have done that. I was just getting back at her, caught up in the hour...I honestly didn't think you guys would actually do it."

"Which is why it's my fault." Kai sighed and shifted, taking his hands from his face. "Stars, what was I _thinking._ "

"I...I don't think it's as bad as you think it is."

Kai turned to look at her, and she met his eyes, giving him a small smile.

"You like her, don't you?" Iko asked. "That's why you're so scared? Not because you're so worried about your friendship?"

Kai considered, then nodded.

"I thought as much. There's no other reason you'd do this for a friend you only just met unless you're an unordinarily good guy. She's a fool if she hadn't noticed that." Iko sighed. "There's...something you should know about Cinder."

"Don't tell me I messed up more than I thought."

"No, it's not that. You know the real reason Cinder has never been in a relationship?"

"She hasn't?"

Iko shook her head. "No. And it's pretty natural for some people not to date so young, but it wasn't just that. Because she _could_ have."

"You mean there were people interested in her?"

"Cinder was always withdrawn. She was always slow to make friends, and, um, there were some bullying incidents in middle school. She always felt a little out of place, but I think a lot of it was in her head."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she thought she was less approachable than she actually was. She thought people hated her. She admitted it to me once, that she thought she was at the very bottom; that she couldn't get lower because she was already nothing. So anytime someone tried to get close to her, she'd run away. Thorne was the first one to get close to her after me and Peony."

"When you said relationship..."

"I did mean friendship too, kind of." Iko lowered her head. "Don't get me wrong; I love Cinder the way she is. But I'm worried because she always tries to push people away when she should be pulling them closer. I don't think Cinder's angry at you; I think she just doesn't know what to do. She probably wants to run away. So if she starts to slip away..."

"It's not my fault."

"And you should pull her back."

"What if she doesn't want me to pull her back?"

Iko shook her head. "Trust me, Kai. She wants you to pull her back. And a large part of her already knows this."

"How do you know?"

Iko smiled. "Because you've known her for only weeks, and look where you are. I can't speak for her feelings romantically, but you mean something special to Cinder for sure."

"You mean that?"

Iko nodded. "Definitely. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's after 4 and we should both be getting some sleep. Don't sweat it so much, okay?"

"Thanks, Iko."

"It's no problem. I just want what's best for Cinder, and I can tell when someone else feels the same way."

When they came back into the room, Cinder was exactly where she was before. Iko crawled onto the other side of their bed, and Kai got into his own. Iko turned the light off.

And they slept.

* * *

It was 7 am, and Cinder was awake. She'd fallen asleep almost right after she told the other two she would, surprisingly. Her mind had been spinning, but it had also been early in the morning and she was tired and she'd willed her mind to sleep so hard that it, for the first time, obeyed her.

Three hours of sleep wasn't enough, but her mental clock had always been set to 7. She wanted to try to fall back asleep, but she didn't know if she could. Then she caught Kai's face, asleep, bathed in morning light from the window, and suddenly she needed to _escape._

She got up from bed and pulled a jacket over her head and walked out to the room's balcony. She didn't really know why the hotel bothered to put in a balcony, considering the air was smoggy and the horizon was nothing more than city buildings and cars, but she appreciated it anyway. For one of the first times since starting the trip, she felt truly alone.

If she squinted and imagined hard enough, she could almost see the small apartment she'd grown up in. She could see her cluttered room, already filled with gears and parts from personal projects and work. She could see the bunk bed, where she'd always slept on the bottom bunk. Iko had the top bunk, and sometimes, when they couldn't sleep, they'd talk late into the night until they were both so sleepy they fell asleep mid-sentence.

She could see her clothes drawer and the white and blue chalk window Iko had drawn on the wall when they were ten. She could see the light on the ceiling that always flickered, no matter how many times Cinder fixed it.

Since moving away, Cinder had distanced herself not only from the place and the people but from the person she used to be. She started pulling her hair up in ponytails so that it stopped hiding her face, and when she had an opportunity to share an apartment with someone she'd never met in person, she'd taken it.

She'd put trust in people. She'd worked hard and tried hard. She maybe didn't have a lot of friends still, but she was getting somewhere, and for the most part, she was happy.

But as much as she tried to put that other girl behind her, she was still there. The panic was there when Thorne confessed his feelings, ones she could not reciprocate. Her shadow from LA had finally followed, tracked her down and pulled her back into a dark, deep embrace. Anxiety twisted its long hair around her limbs, knotted into that shaky confidence and brought it back to the floor.

Just like back then, she'd tried to run away. She pushed Thorne away. She pushed Kai away. She pushed work away.

But Kai came back. But Kai stuck with her, and so she stuck with him.

Could she really leave him? Could she really run? She was embarrassed and scared, but it was time she made up her mind. It was time she truly escaped what she'd really been trying to run from: fear.

She'd tell him tonight. And she wouldn't regret it.

* * *

Kai didn't know what made him wake up at 7:10, but the moment he blinked his eyes open something felt _off._

He looked a the other bed, finding that the covers were thrown off on one side. Kai sat up quickly.

Cinder had left. But _where?_

He panicked, remembering that morning. Had she really run away? He didn't think Iko meant it that way, but he didn't know. He couldn't tell.

She didn't have a car, but she never said she couldn't drive. And there were buses and trains and she could—where would she—why—

His breathing steadied when he found her silhouette standing at the balcony, leaning against the railing.

She hadn't run. She was right there.

He laid back on the bed. Part of him wanted to fall asleep, but part of him wanted time alone with Cinder, maybe a chance to explain. His stomach twisted, but he knew it had to be done. Otherwise, they'd ignore it until it disappeared into the back of their minds, but it wouldn't really leave—nothing like that ever did.

And just because she hadn't left him then didn't mean she still couldn't. Once they were back in the Bay Area, she'd have no reason to be near him.

He had to do this for him. For her. For Iko, even. It was a crazy thought, really, that he had first met both of them only a month ago. What a boring life he must have had before.

He got up from bed and stretched, then tapped his hand lightly on the sliding glass door of the balcony to alert Cinder he was coming out.

She startled, turning to look at him, and for a moment he saw only panic. But then she relaxed and nodded. She didn't smile, not really, but the nod was all the affirmation he needed to step onto the balcony and close the door behind him.

"Good morning," Kai said, voice still caught in the dregs of sleep.

"Good morning," Cinder said, looking back over the city. Kai stepped forward and leaned next to her at the guardrail, a foot apart.

"The city looks pretty right now," Kai said, thoughtfully. "They say the city never sleeps, but I think it's the most peaceful at this hour, just after the sun has risen."

A pause stretched between them, both waiting for the other to speak.

"Do you want something?" Cinder asked abruptly.

"Just some fresh air. And I wanted to talk to you."

A shiver went through Cinder, but Kai wasn't sure whether it was because of the cold morning air or her nerves. His own hands were warm and he was sure his ears were slowly turning red, but he couldn't stop there. Where had that easy confidence he'd been born with gone? Even the confidence from last night, right before he kissed her?

He couldn't imagine doing that now. How _bold._ Even if it had been a dare...that hadn't really been it, had it?

"I'm...sorry for last night," Kai said, still not looking directly at her. "You never...said anything, so I just assumed you were okay with it...but it's pretty obvious..."

"Pretty obvious what?"

"Pretty obvious you weren't comfortable." He took a deep breath and steadied himself against the guardrail. "I hope you won't hold this against me. I'm really, really sorry, and I'd take it back if I could. But I can't and...I just don't want this to come between us."

"Is that what you think this is?" Cinder finally faced him. But now she didn't just look flustered; she looked almost... _angry._ Did he say something wrong?

"What?"

"You said you'd take it back if you could."

"Of course. Clearly, you didn't wa—"

" _How can you know what I want?_ "

Kai shrunk back. "I don't. You just went to sleep after and wouldn't speak to me and—"

"You know what hurts the most?" Cinder cut him off, standing straight now.

He was almost too afraid to ask, and he let the question linger in the air before daring to respond. "What?"

"That it meant something to me. _That's_ why I've been quiet. I needed some time to process. But—" Kai opened his mouth to interrupt, and Cinder held a hand up to let her continue. " _But,_ clearly it was one-sided. I understand now. It was stupid of me when I should know by now. I guess I'm being childish, seeing as it was my first kiss and all, wanting it to mean more."

She walked to the doors leading into the room, back facing him.

"And you know what? I'd take it back if I could, too."

She reached her hand out to open the door, and Kai gulped.

"That's not what it is at all," Kai said, taking a step toward her, and then another.

She turned to face him, only to find him a foot away again.

"What _is_ it then?"

Kai didn't know exactly what he wanted to say. He didn't know if he was _ready_ to say anything. He didn't know if words were enough or ever could be.

So he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her into a tentative hug. She didn't hug him back, but she didn't push him away either, so he stayed there and searched for the words.

"Don't leave me. I know you want to run away, but..."

Cinder tensed and started to move, but he tightened his grip.

"Hear me out, okay?"

She relaxed but still didn't wrap her arms around him. It was peaceful, though, in a way he couldn't quite explain. Unable to see her expression, but being able to feel her reassuring warmth, maybe...maybe he could...

"I talked to Iko after you went to sleep," Kai whispered. "And that's when I realized I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing you again. The thought of coming back to the Bay Area and you avoiding me...that thought _terrifies_ me. Cinder, you mean a lot to me. The only reason I would take it back..."

Kai took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and braced himself.

"Is because if that was the reason I lost you I would never forgive myself. I would take it back not because it didn't mean anything to me, but only because you mean more to me than it ever could."

Kai couldn't breathe. Cinder was limp in his arms, and he forced himself to pull away from her, to break the hug. She hated him. He had gone too far. He would never see her again and—

Just as he started to move away, she raised her arms, wrapped them around his waist, and hugged him back.

"I won't say I never wanted to leave," Cinder whispered back. "Part of me is still screaming to run. But...I can't imagine never seeing you again too. So please don't give up on me either."


	11. Part Eleven: Urgent

When 9 am came and went and Iko was still asleep on the bed, Cinder and Kai agreed they would visit Peony without her. Cinder admitted feeling guilty about how long they'd stayed up when Iko was clearly exhausted, so it was the least they could do not to wake her up.

They left a note on the bedside table and drove to the hospital, the need to talk prevented by the radio music between them. Cinder was fiddling with her hands again, though it seemed more of a mixture of excitement and worry than full-out dread. Peony had woken up last night _. Woken up._ The only person who could tell Cinder of any developments was asleep in her hotel room, so things were pretty up in the air, but Cinder was hopeful. More hopeful than she'd ever been throughout this entire thing.

Kai kept his eyes on the road, but he stole a glance at her now and then. After they hugged, they got breakfast and pretended like nothing had happened. It was a step up, but part of him was disappointed that it hadn't lead to anything more.

He'd never _actually asked_ if she wanted to be more than friends. They just knew they cared about each other. It was enough to make him both giddy and nervous but also unbearably awkward.

It was a relief when he finally parked.

* * *

When Cinder walked to Peony's room, she paused when she realized "Linh, Peony" was no longer on the door. Had she been moved? Had she gotten worse or better?

Her heart pounded as she found a help desk. She started smiling when she was directed to a wing with stable patients and took off at a near run in the direction of her sister's new room.

The room was no longer singular. Many beds spanned the length, and the inhabitants looked Peony's age and younger. Some of the beds were empty, and the teens were at various levels of sick, but they all looked okay, not like Peony had been. Most were awake.

"Cinder!" Cinder turned to find Peony in one of the beds by the door, a big smile on her face. The rashes were still there—Cinder didn't know if they'd ever fully leave—but there was a light in Peony's eyes that made Cinder relax.

Peony moved to get up when Cinder neared but winced and sat back against the pillows. That's when Cinder noticed that Peony's forehead was still shiny with sweat, that her eyes looked older than before.

Cinder came to stand by the bed, smiling faltering but not fading.

"It's good to see you up."

"I didn't know you were coming to visit LA," Peony said, matching her enthusiasm.

Cinder tilted her head. "You don't remember me coming before?"

Peony scrunched her nose in thought, then shrugged. "I don't remember a whole lot after I blanked out. Some dreams...but not anything else." She shivered.

Cinder nodded. She wasn't disappointed, not really—she couldn't have expected Peony to remember anything from when she was half-asleep.

"Did you say anything important?"

Cinder shook her head. "Nope." She took Peony's hand and squeezed. "Just that I came down here for _you,_ not a simple visit."

"Iko missed you too, you know," Peony said, frowning. "I did, of course, but I think Iko took it worse."

"I know." Cinder sighed, a sigh that encompassed much more than she'd intended. "I feel bad, knowing how I just left like that."

"Oh, don't get us wrong, though," Peony said, squeezing Cinder's hand back and then withdrawing it. "We're happy you're doing so well in NorCal. Did you bring anything for me?"

Since Cinder started getting her own paychecks, she'd saved a little for spending money, but more often than not, it'd end up being used for gifts rather than for herself. A pair of shoes for Iko, a souvenir for Peony. In her hurry to pack she only brought two with her, but she was glad she remembered those as she reached for her wrist and pulled off a bracelet. It had a grainy picture of the Golden Gate Bridge printed on a long, plastic bead. It was hideous.

"It's...beautiful," Peony said, holding it in her hand.

Cinder laughed. "You don't have to pretend. I found the most ugly, SF-like one I could and bought three." She held out her wrist where another two were. "I'm giving the third to Iko, though I bet she'll find some way to get out of wearing it."

Peony grinned and slipped it around her wrist. It hung loosely, and Cinder noticed how Peony seemed more gaunt, her wrist more skinny.

"Thanks for remembering us," Peony said. "You've always been thoughtful."

Cinder shrugged, but her cheeks were warm. "I can't forget you guys. You're my sisters."

"Then go back to the Bay Area for me, okay?"

"What?"

Peony looked away, at the other beds.

"I love you being here, but don't let me keep you from your future, okay?"

"I can't just leave you before you've gotten better."

Peony looked back, meeting her eyes, her smile sadder. Cinder wondered if there was something she wasn't being told.

"Yes, you can."

* * *

Kai was sitting in the Imperial Coffee he found the day before when his phone rang.

He knew his dad was hiding something from him, or at least wasn't telling him something. Otherwise, why would Kai be in LA without protest when he was so needed at school and business meetings and everything else?

He'd been hoping otherwise, that his dad was just being nice and giving him a break. And he was. But there was more to it, and Kai's face drained, second by second, as he found out the truth.

"Imperial Coffee is failing," said CEO Rikan Huang, his father, his role model, and his boss, with not a word more or less than he needed. Kai's father was compassionate. He was also blunt.

"Woah, woah. _What?"_ Kai asked, peering around the cafe. He put a hand around his mouth and the phone, wondering if it was bad he was taking this call in a public place. The people at the other tables seemed preoccupied, though, so he didn't bother getting to the car before continuing.

"What?" Kai repeated again when his dad didn't say anything more.

"Imperial Coffee's stocks are tanking. Profits have been dropping, and we'd already seen this trend, but it's gotten worse. We don't know if we can get out of this one."

Kai shut his eyes, opened them, shut them, and opened them again. Was this a prank? A nightmare? He brought his phone from his ear and opened the stocks app.

Imperial Coffee was down. _Very_ down.

"Why?" Kai asked. He had a lot of questions and more statements, but in that moment he didn't think he could manage more than a single word.

"The CEO of Café Eclipse has been getting more and more aggressive. This has been going on for a while, but..." His father paused, and Kai held his breath, using every shred of his mental control not to flip a table and cause a scene. "I didn't want to concern you when you already have college and other jobs. I thought we would be able to come to terms with her, but she asks for what I can't give."

"And what is that?"

"A merger. She wants to own Imperial Coffee. And..." He paused even longer.

"And...?"

"And she wants your hand in marriage."

* * *

Kai found it hard to meet Cinder's eyes when he picked her up from the hospital. She didn't notice his shift in mood right away, instead talking about how much better Peony was, how she was clearly on the road to recovery.

"She said they still don't know what it is but—"

Kai took a deep breath. "Cinder?"

She stopped talking and turned to look at him. Her movements became measured as she found him worried.

"Kai?"

"Since Peony is doing better..." Kai gulped. He had no time to process, no time to work it through. He just knew he had to get back, had to be there, had to watch his world fall apart... "Does that mean we can leave for home soon?"

Cinder tilted her head. "Do you have a reason to be back?"

Kai nodded. He didn't know what he would say if she asked what it was. She had a right to know since she was an employee, but his father was pretty clear: don't talk about it with anyone else.

Thankfully, Cinder didn't ask.

"How urgently do you need to get back?"

"Urgent."

Cinder took a deep breath and twirled a loose piece of hair around her finger. "We can drive back today, then, as soon as we drop Iko off and pack. Is that good?"

Kai almost sagged with relief. It was already 11 am, but if they left in the next hour, it would be fine. They'd get back late but whole, and then he could be rising from his own bed by the next morning.

He'd already decided: he'd stay at his real home, not his dorm. Not just because of Thorne, but because he had a feeling his father needed him now more than ever. He'd try to keep up school, but he'd drop tutoring and maybe cut his hours at the cafe.

He'd figure something out because he _had to._ He was young and inexperienced, but if there was any way he could help, he would.

"Thank you," he breathed.

Cinder looked out the window, at the cars and tall buildings passing them.

"How can you thank me," she said, "when I owe you everything?"

* * *

Iko was awake by the time they reached the hotel, and Cinder gave her her bracelet without much fanfare. Iko put it on, though she crinkled her face at it.

Cinder and Kai didn't have a lot to pack, so it was mostly a matter of getting their things to the car, signing out from the hotel, and then dropping Iko off. Pretty soon they were on the road again, eating burritos they'd picked up before getting on the freeway.

"Talk to me," Kai said, yawning. "I'm still tired from yesterday; you can't let me fall asleep."

"It's _12:30 pm,_ " Cinder said, skeptical. "How can you be sleepy now?"

"Three hours isn't enough."

"You'd think you'd be used to this, with all the stuff you balance normally."

"Excuse you, but I am typically very well-rested."

"That I find hard to believe," Cinder said. "And yet I do, because you seem like the kind of person who could take on the world and still have time for naps."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I don't know," Cinder said, tapping the car-door window.

Kai was smiling, but his smile turned back to a frown as everything trickled back.

He _couldn't_ marry Levana. He couldn't even imagine it. His father said she thought it would make the transition into the merger seem more diplomatic—he was wary that she was doing something illegal that she didn't want exposed with suspicion. She was also getting older, and while she'd once been married, she was no longer and worried her image was being hurt by it.

But _him? Kai?_ He was still so young, and Levana was a decade older, and it made no sense. His gut squirmed at the thought.

"I've been thinking," Kai said, and Cinder waited for him to continue until she realized he was looking for a sign that she was listening.

"Yes?"

Kai took a deep breath. _Sorry, Dad,_ he thought, guilt twisting his stomach. His dad had never told him he had to marry Levana; in fact, he seemed very opposed. But there was only one real way to end it. Only one way to fully evade something he didn't think he could ever do.

"Would it be too forward for me to ask to be your boyfriend?"

He held his breath, staring at the road ahead and wanting to sink into the floor. Cinder was silent for a long time, and he finally glanced over at her. She looked thoughtful, and her cheeks were pink, but she didn't look angry or indignant.

"Yes," she said, and his heart sank. "It kind of is forward, for me at least. But, you know what?" She shrugged casually, but he could've sworn her shoulders were stiff. "I think I'd like to try it out, too. If that's okay with you."

Kai couldn't help it: he smiled, wide. Amid this confusion, there was something to cling onto now.

"It's okay with me," he said, and they fell into a comfortable silence, with Kai watching the road, Cinder looking out the window, and both of them trying unsuccessfully not to smile.


	12. Part Twelve: Between

The drive back was both more normal and more unusual than either of them expected it to be. They weren't completely sure what they expected, but things had happened in those three days—a _lot_ of things _._

Cinder saw her sister deathly sick, without any indication of when she'd get better, _if_ she'd get better. Cinder and Kai stayed in the same hotel room, something more casually intimate than either would admit. Kai met Iko in person for the first time; Cinder saw Iko for the first time in months. They went to a beach, and the Getty, and Kai got Cinder to wear matching shirts. They stayed up to 4 am. They'd shared their first kiss. And as of a few minutes ago...

As of a few minutes ago, _they were dating._

Kai wasn't completely sure if he could believe it yet. Sure, he'd asked her in part to avoid Levana, but that was more of the last straw. He'd already been meaning to ask her again.

He wanted to say it on the balcony, but it'd been too much at the time. He'd already admitted to too much.

The real question was, what now? What did dating even mean, really? He dated a few times in the past, though he'd always been so busy and never very interested. He stopped at some point when he realized he was hurting the girls, even though he'd accepted at first because he couldn't bear saying no.

Being a couple...that meant giving gifts, right? And maybe holding hands? He couldn't really imagine holding hands with Cinder. Going on dates? Movies? Did this mean she'd meet his friends? Would she have to meet his parents? How would they tell people? How would they tell the _public?_

What about pet names? Getting to know each other better? There was so much he didn't know about her. There was probably even more she didn't know about him.

The long drive to the Bay Area was just long enough to think of questions and try to answer them, but not enough to make any decisions. His head swam. He wanted to talk to Cinder, to ask her _what next?_ But she probably didn't know either.

* * *

They bought dinner at an In-N-Out drive-thru, and Kai attempted to keep driving while simultaneously eating a burger. He was failing spectacularly.

"Want to pull over at the next rest area so you can eat? I think there's one nearby," Cinder said, putting her own burger down in her lap. "The sun already set, so there's no rush anymore."

The sunset was Cinder's favorite part of the drive. It always seemed to last forever, a drawn-out darkening of the sky, a glimmer of colors over the fields, an open road ahead and behind. Just them, the car, and the sky. But between one blink and the next the colors bled out, and they were in the dark.

It was 6:40, and they anticipated another hour or so of driving. Cinder could tell Kai was _exhausted,_ even though he seemed to be pushing through well. She didn't know what was going through his head, but she imagined he had a lot to think about.

He never told her _what_ exactly he needed to return to, but it had to be pretty big if he cut their trip short right away. And, of course, there was the matter of...

Well, the matter of them dating. That was the word, right? It seemed so strange to her. Her. _Dating._ For the last 12 years, Cinder Linh had been pretty convinced she'd die alone. Not in a particularly sad, helpless way. She was resigned to it. It was a fact.

But there was a guy in the driver's seat, only a foot away, and he was watching the road, and it was very possible he was thinking about her, and here she was, thinking about him too.

That wasn't even the weirdest part, really. He was the son of a huge CEO. He was rich, had sway in the world. When he did something big, people paid attention—also partially because he was attractive and single. She'd done a quick search of him on her phone, a little guiltily. She could've just asked him, but she didn't want to admit how little she knew.

She found out that he was in line to inherit the title of CEO if anything happened to his father. She learned he was showing great promise and enrolled at Stanford. She'd already known that, but it was different learning it second-hand.

Smart, clearly. Rich. Attractive. Strange, yes. Almost suspicious. Why _her?_

They pulled into the empty rest-stop. Neither of them made a move to step outside. They left the car light on.

"Maybe we should just stay in here," Kai said, already reaching again for his food. "It's probably cold, and I'll admit the dark makes me a little nervous."

Cinder nodded, then paused. If she wasn't sure about something, shouldn't she ask him? She'd messed things up because she was too scared to say how she felt, too scared to put any purchase in her feelings. But trusting others meant letting other people trust you, right?

"I'm just wondering," Cinder said, foot bouncing against the car floor. "There's not _another_ reason you asked to date me, right?"

It was an easy answer, right? But he didn't answer right away. She stopped herself from fiddling with her hair, but her stomach was already dropping, already falling.

"No," he said, and she sagged with relief. "But I'd be lying if I didn't also say yes?"

Cinder tensed, head turning.

"What?"

He took a deep breath, looking away from her, then finally met her eyes. He looked nervous.

"I wanted to be your boyfriend," he said. "I _want_ to be your boyfriend. This is something you can trust. But...there's something else too."

"What?" Cinder repeated, wishing she could say more than one word.

"You see, I'm reaching _marriageable_ age. There's been more pressure than ever. I don't mind too much, except now there's been a proposition I really, _really_ can't deal with any other way unless I want to doom either our company or my entire future, and likely both."

Kai paused, but Cinder nodded and he continued.

"The CEO of Café Eclipse is single too, but she's ten years older than me. There has been tension between Imperial Coffee and her company for a very long time, and now she's proposing to merge the two businesses. She's also...asking for my hand in marriage."

Cinder sucked in a breath.

" _What?_ "

"I know, it's just as bad and crazy as it sounds." He rubbed his eyes with his hand, and the exhaustion came off him in waves now he had no more reason to hide it. "So you see, I can't be single. I can't let her think I'm refusing her offer for any reason less than true love."

"So that's what I am," Cinder whispered, looking back at her lap. "I'm the person supposed to push her away. Because _any_ girl is better than her."

"Hey," Kai said, now worried. "Don't phrase it like that. If I weren't interested in you, I would've found a different way to solve my problem. I would never pretend to have feelings I didn't feel."

Cinder blinked, breathed.

"Look at me?" It was a question, not a demand, and that worried question mark startled her enough to raise her eyes to his and open her mouth.

"You promise?" she asked.

He smiled in relief. "Yes, I do."

* * *

The conversation in the empty rest-stop parking lot seemed like the breaker of a dam. There was still some tension, some awkwardness between them, but now they filled the space with words instead of silence.

"Favorite color?" Kai asked.

Cinder crinkled her forehead. "Does it matter?"

Kai guffawed. "Are you kidding? _Of course_ it matters. What if I want to buy you a...um...a new wrench set? What color would I get you?"

"Somehow I don't really see you getting me brightly colored _metal_ wrenches. This question has very little practical use."

"You're talking about _practical use?_ Can't I just be curious what color my girlfriend prefers?"

Cinder sighed exasperatedly, though she didn't sound very annoyed.

"It's orange," she said. "Some days. The other days it's blue. What's yours, then?"

"Yellow."

Cinder made a face. "Your favorite color is _yellow?_ "

"A very specific yellow," he corrected. "Egg yolk yellow, after it's been cooked. A soft, pastel yellow. It puts me in a good mood."

"You don't say," Cinder deadpanned.

"What?"

"Nothing, just leave it to you to have a three sentence description of your favorite color."

"Three _short_ sentences." Kai shook his head. "Who do you make me out to be?"

"Hmmm," Cinder said, raising a finger in mock-thought. "Could you by chance be...really smart?"

"Being smart doesn't mean I act smart," Kai said. Cinder laughed at that, and he cracked a smile. "It's true. There are different types of smart."

"Then what type of smart are you?"

"Can't you tell?"

"Well, let's see." Cinder had taken psychology her last year of high school. It was one of her favorite classes, even if it made her uncomfortable at times. It fascinated her, really, that the mind could be broken down similarly to the gears and wires under her hands. It wasn't the same, not really, but the interest was just enough that she'd remember a lot more from that class than many of her other ones.

"Verbal-linguistic, probably. And logical-mathematical, if you're going to be dealing with all that economic stuff. I'd also guess interpersonal intelligence." She nodded, then smiled, as if she'd made up her mind. "That sounds right."

Kai raised an eyebrow. "Referencing Howard Gardner?"

"Have a better way to approach the question?"

"Sorry, psychology isn't my strong suit."

"Do you know enough to guess me, though?"

"Hm," Kai said, tapping his chin. "I'd say you're very visual-spacial, with your mechanic stuff. I don't really know. Intrapersonal too?"

" _Intrapersonal?_ Are you kidding me?"

He shook his head. "No, not really. You seem very aware of your own thoughts and emotions."

"Yeah, but that's only half of it. I still have no control over them."

Kai shrugged. "Maybe controlling them isn't the important part. Maybe it's about working with them, not around them."

"What?"

"Low emotions aren't inherently bad," Kai said. "They're often a sign that something's wrong, just like physical pain. So when you're feeling low, maybe it's not that you need to stop feeling low just for the sake of avoiding the feeling. Maybe it's that you need to solve whatever it is that's making you feel that way."

Cinder frowned. "Right. I'll keep that in mind the next time I want to rip my own hair out."

Kai sighed. "I know sometimes it's different. I can't fully understand anything, really."

"No," Cinder said, considering. "I think you're right, in one way or another. The problem is just that the solution is often hard to see."

"Or you can see it, but you can't see how to reach it."

Cinder nodded. "That about sums it up."

* * *

Cinder was half-asleep when she started to recognize where she was. They'd stopped talking, but the quiet had none of its earlier bite. They were just tired.

"We're almost there, right?" Cinder mumbled.

"It's another quarter hour," Kai said. His voice was a lot more alert than Cinder's, which was a relief considering he was the driver. "Feel free to fall asleep. I know you didn't sleep enough last night."

"You didn't...either..." Cinder said, head already slumping, and between one moment and the next, she was asleep.

* * *

Cinder felt arms under her, lifting her up. She should have said something, moved to indicate she was awake. But she was dead tired. She didn't want to open her eyes when she was in such a nice, sleepy state.

She was readjusted for him to knock on the door, and she vaguely heard the sound of the door opening, of Cress and Kai whispering briefly before she was set down in her bed. Cress retreated. She felt light pressure of lips on her forehead.

"Goodnight, Cinder." It was Kai's voice. "Sleep well."

And then he was gone, and the door closed, and she was warm and sleepy and tired and happy and she was gone too, under a darkness that had lost its claws hours ago.


	13. Part Thirteen: Pitch

**A/N: I'm so sorry this is a day late! The past week has been super chaotic and I totally forgot about it. I'll try to write an extra long part next week to make up for it!**

* * *

Kai wanted to go home. He _should_ have gone home. But it was late, and he'd been on the road all day, and his home was another half hour drive. Plus, there was a part of him...a part of him that missed his other home.

His head was filled with nothing but white noise as he left Cinder's apartment and found his own. He didn't care if Thorne was there anymore. In fact, he missed him too.

Thorne was his opposite in every way. He always returned way too late, way too tipsy, way too messy. He never took his shoes off when he came in, though Kai often found them tossed near the end of his bed. When he didn't want to do laundry, he simply bought new clothing. He was the epitome of everything Kai _wasn't._ But somehow, over the year they'd known each other, they'd grown close.

Kai missed him the way he missed his friends back home. But Thorne didn't expect anything from him, didn't ask anything of him, and that's where the difference was. He didn't know how he hadn't realized it before.

Kai stumbled into the apartment, kicking his shoes off and planning to collapse on his bed. The state of the room stopped him.

He'd seen messy. He'd left for weekends at a times, once a whole week. But what he found now was incomparable.

Thorne was laying in the middle of the floor. His shirt was crumpled, stained. He was still wearing his jeans, despite being fast asleep. An half-empty beer can was clutched in his fist, and empty ones were piled near his head. Tissues were strewn near an empty tissue box, the trash can already full. A takeout box rested near his feet, half-eaten food making the place smell like second-day Chinese food.

Kai gagged and considered leaving. But could he really leave Thorne here like this? Could he really leave his apartment like this?

He braced himself and got a trash bag and rag he could use to pick things up. He tossed in the food, the beer cans, the tissues, the candy wrappers. Thorne stirred when he pulled the half-empty can from his hand but continued sleeping. Kai made Thorne's bed and pushed his dirty laundry into a single pile, to be washed the next day.

He considered leaving Thorne on the floor; he was asleep, after all. The ground was hard, though, and he knew Thorne would wake up with a stiff back if he stayed there the whole night.

He shook him until he woke up. Thorne grumbled but opened his eyes and rolled over.

"Thorne," Kai whispered, nudging him. "Thorne, get up and move to the bed."

Thorne's eyebrows were scrunched up. "Kai?"

"Yes, I'm back from LA."

Thorne struggled to a sitting position, rubbing his forehead. Kai imagined he had a pretty bad headache.

"Want me to get you some water?" Kai asked. "I can get some while you go to bed."

Thorne didn't say anything. He stared into the space behind Kai's head. Kai got up, turning to go the sink, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Wait," Thorne croaked. "Don't go. I've been so alone..."

Kai shrugged his arm away but sat down and nodded him to continue. He'd never imagined he'd be the one people spilled to, but it seemed that now that's all he could be.

"Cinder won't even speak to me," Thorne said. "I thought it would be like it was before when she'd stop talking for maybe a day or two. But we always made up."

Thorne's nose was running, eyes shiny. He wiped his nose on his shirt, and Kai winced. They needed more tissues.

"I don't think she understands." Thorne's voice broke, and finally the real tears came—ones that had been right there, on the edge, for days. "She doesn't understand that it's enough to talk to her. It's enough to be near her. It's enough to play games and joke and tease. That's _enough_."

He was crying in earnest now, sitting with his legs folded up in front of him, tears dropping onto his jeans.

"The only thing that isn't enough," Thorne said between breaths. "The only thing that isn't enough is _silence."_

Kai sat there, not really knowing what to say. He didn't know if he wanted to be involved, if he should, since Cinder deserved some degree of space in her personal life. But Thorne was a friend to both of them, even more to her, and if Thorne was going to keep fall asleep on the floor fully clothed and drunk every night, it seemed like something Kai should take into his own hands.

It wasn't just about Cinder. It was about Thorne.

"Hey," Kai said, quietly. "Hey, Thorne, it's okay."

"No," Thorne said. "It's not."

"It's not going to last. Only if you let it."

Thorne raised his head, making eye contact with Kai. His eyes were red. "You don't understand. Cinder _hates_ me. She never—she won't—"

"No, _you_ don't understand something." Kai stood up and grabbed Thorne's hand to pull him up. Thorne was so startled he didn't resist and found himself on his feet, unstable but standing. "Cinder _doesn't_ hate you. Cinder has _never_ hated you. She's just scared and bad at expressing her feelings. So," Kai grabbed his keys from his pocket and twirled them around his fingers, "I expect you to make up with her."

Thorne wobbled. "Right _now_?"

Kai wrinkled his nose. "No. You look and smell like you haven't showered in days. Go in the morning."

Thorne smiled sheepishly. His nose ran, but none of the tears on his face were new. "I don't imagine you're now going to tell me exactly all the steps I need to take before morning?"

Kai's grin was sardonic. "You know you're a disaster. I'm exhausted, so I'm going to sleep, but if you're not in shape by morning, you're going to have to walk to her on your own two feet."

Thorne saluted. "Yes, sir."

Kai fell sideways onto his bed, only briefly bothering to pull the covers over his head. There was the sound of Thorne rustling through clothing, and Kai was almost completely asleep when Thorne's rustling stopped.

"Thank you," Thorne said. "I really needed that."

With that, Kai was gone.

* * *

Cinder woke up to the feeling of someone stroking her hair back from the pillow.

"Iko?" she asked, eyes still closed. She heard someone inhale, but they didn't say anything.

She blinked and rolled onto her side, scanning the person before her. She scrambled backward from the edge of the bed when she recognized the nose, the eyes, the shape of his face.

 _Thorne._

"Cinder," he said, voice low. He mirrored her, tired eyes and droopy hair. But where she was startled, he was sad. "It's just me."


	14. Part Fourteen: Stranger

A/N: Sorry this isn't super long or well edited, I wrote most of this in the car on a road trip. Mayyybbbeee next week will be extra-extra long? ;D

* * *

Cinder didn't know how long she could look at his face, so the moment she was up she made a beeline to the kitchen. Coffee for him; tea for her. He always complained how he couldn't survive the day without his caffeine in the morning.

She hummed, trying to fill the silence. Cress was out, though it was too early for her to be at work. Perhaps she'd left when Thorne came in to give them privacy.

"Something you wanted to tell me?" Cinder asked. Thorne sat on the side of her bed.

"A lot, really." His voice was casual, almost sure of himself. She couldn't tell if it was fake or not, but she appreciated it. She was back at her apartment after a good night's sleep; if she was going to fake being comfortable, the time was now.

"Well, I'm all ears." Cinder poured the coffee into a tall mug and picked up her tea.

"Um, what happened the last time I saw you...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to such fast conclusions and it was rude of me. We never dated, so even if you and Kai were dating or something, I had no right to be angry about it."

"I should apologize too." Cinder turned around, walked over to the bed, and handed Thorne his coffee. She sat across from him on the floor, holding her tea and letting its warmth soak into her fingers. His hands were resting together in his lap. Perhaps he hadn't been biting his nails after all. "I made a lot of assumptions too. Sorry. I of all people should know you're not always the guy you project."

Thorne shrugged. "And I of all people should have known better than to spring something like that on you. I didn't even have a chance to explain. Most people would prefer something blunt, but I guess I should have figured out it's not the same for you."

Cinder nodded and held out her hand. Thorne tilted his head in question but took it, and they shook on it.

"There. We promise not to let this get between us now, okay?" Cinder announced, smiling.

"Is it just me, or are you in an extra good mood?"

Cinder stood up and pulled him from the bed.

"Maybe. You woke me up super early, let's go out before work." Cinder went towards her clothes drawer, and Thorne leaned against the doorframe.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," said Cinder. "That's what's different."

* * *

They found Cress sitting by the vending machine when they walked out, and Cinder pulled her out with them. Cress protested at first, but when Thorne smiled and asked her to come along she stopped arguing.

"Where are we going, exactly?" Cress asked. "I can't be late to work."

"Anywhere," Cinder said.

The air was cold, colder than the mornings in LA. Cinder pulled her jacket tighter, watching her breath fan out before her. She thought of Peony, how she should call Iko as soon as she had a moment to spare.

But she missed Thorne and Cress, and the three days were just enough for her to realize that; they'd all missed someone.

Now, she missed Iko. She missed Peony. That's just what life was—a balance between missing some and appreciating others. Cinder wanted to appreciate, how she hadn't before, how she never had.

"Well, where do _you_ want to go?" Cinder asked.

Thorne raised an eyebrow and pointed at a bus stop. "Let's go somewhere fun."

Cinder frowned. "And what's your definition of 'fun?'"

He smiled, already walking towards the curb. "It's a ten-minute bus ride away."

* * *

Cinder didn't know what she expected. It was not, however, an arcade.

Two other things Cinder learned were: 1. Thorne was very bad at air hockey 2. Thorne was very competitive at air hockey.

They couldn't play the game with three people, so they played a serious of championships. Cress had never played before, but she caught on quickly. Cinder didn't have much strategy, but she hit the puck hard, and sometimes she got a lucky shot.

And Thorne just sucked.

"Why exactly do you like this game so much if you're so bad at it?" Cinder asked, after winning yet another game. Thorne always got eliminated in the first game, and then Cinder and Cress would have their intense battle. At first Cinder and Cress won equally, but now Cress was far in the lead.

"I'm getting better," Thorne said, stepping aside so that Cress could take his place.

"If by 'getting better,' you mean it takes longer for me to beat you, I guess you could say that."

"Just wait," Thorne said. "One day. _One day._ "

"You'll what, win by chance?" Cress said, smirking, but as soon as she made eye contact with Thorne she blushed and turned back to the game. Cinder couldn't tell if she was being more shy than usual, or if she was always this shy—Cinder and Cress had met under unusual circumstances, after all.

Now that she thought about it, though, had something happened while Cinder was gone? She knew most girls found Thorne hot, thought she found it easy to forget when he was always getting himself in trouble and acting childish. For a smart boy from a rich family, he was a risk taker and academically unmotivated. She'd heard it all from him—he wanted to be a pilot, his parents wanted him to be a lawyer.

But Cress knew Thorne only loosely, as far as she knew. Thorne would come over now and then, but Cress was normally out and kept to herself. And hadn't this whole mess started because Thorne confessed feelings for Cinder?

She didn't know what to think anymore. She was worried because Cress was innocent and easily swayed. But she was also independent and an adult, so Cinder figured it wasn't her place to worry. Cress could take care of herself. And Thorne? Well, she trusted his intentions, but more than that...she wasn't sure.

* * *

Cress squeaked when she saw the time. "I'm going to be late!" She grabbed her purse and ran out of the arcade. Thorne watched her leave, a funny expression on his face.

"What are you thinking?" Cinder asked, punching his arm.

"I'm thinking I need to step up my air hockey game."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"What?"

"If you hurt her, I will _not_ forgive you again."

Thorne laughed and shook his head. "What, you're worried about Cress? Don't worry, she's not my type."

"Uh-huh."

They stood there awkwardly until Cinder realized she was also going to end up late if she stayed there longer.

"Don't you have classes to get to?" she asked. He gave her a wounded expression, though, and she left without further questions.

He'd been talking about dropping his place at Stanford—and she was pretty sure they were thinking about dropping _him._ Cinder couldn't really understand why Thorne didn't try in school when she was struggling to even have a chance to go to college, but she figured that was how things were. Everyone wanted different things, and what they ended up with was normally not the same.

* * *

She ran into Imperial Coffee breathing hard but on time. She was almost surprised to see Kai there, apron on and waiting for her. He didn't say hello, instead examining her face, as if trying to find the evidence of some emotion. Her smile fell.

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering. How did it go with Thorne?"

Cinder paused, wondering why he would know about Thorne until she remembered they were roommates. "It went well. We went to the arcade with another friend."

"So you made up?"

Cinder nodded. "Yeah, we did."

He breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Great, if you hadn't I may have needed a new roommate. You should see how messy he is when he's stressed."

Cinder twirled her ponytail. "Sorry."

"I'm just glad it's resolved."

They stood there awkwardly, neither knowing what else to say until they were needed at the counter. Kai seemed more distracted than usual, to the point where Cinder told him to take a break. She felt nervous herself, knowing what they had said and done the day before, but his distraction seemed more than that. She guessed it had something to do with whatever reason he had to leave early. She was surprised he'd come to work at all, with whatever that was going on.

At lunch, Kai sat silently, and Cinder tapped her leg, uncomfortable with this different Kai.

"Did you get enough sleep last night?" Cinder asked. "I slept easily, but you were driving all day."

"Yeah, I slept fine," Kai said with a smile. The smile seemed half-hearted, and she wondered if Kai _wanted_ her to notice. He seemed like someone very in control of the way he appeared, in what emotions he showed, especially given his profession.

So did acting the way he felt mean that he was trusting her, in a way? Or was whatever it was really that bad?

"Listen, Kai," Cinder said. "Whatever's plaguing you, I can help with. It's only fair."

Kai shook his head. "Really, I'm fine, and I'm sorry I was so distracted today."

"It's fine," Cinder said. "Happens to all of us."

"Also, I was going to ask—" Kai started, but then he closed his mouth, eyes trained on the doorway.

Cinder turned to see what he was looking at. She didn't see anyone she recognized, but there was a young, beautiful girl standing in the door. She looked nearly flawless, and for a moment Cinder wondered if that's why Kai was staring, but that didn't seem like something he would do. A tall, blond man stood next to her. He was handsome, but where she was warm, he was cold.

Cinder shivered when she realized the girl wasn't looking at Kai but directly at _her._ Almost as if...as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Selene?" the girl asked.

Then the name was on Cinder's lips, almost against her will, against her knowledge. " _Winter?"_


	15. Part Fifteen: Lost

Cinder didn't know the girl with long, curly black hair and warm brown skin. She didn't recognize the hazel eyes, the long lashes, the narrow scar that stretched down her right cheek. But she was also familiar, inexplicably so. If she'd seen someone so beautiful before, it would have been hard to forget, and yet...something about her felt forgotten.

The woman—for now Cinder recognized her as a year or two older than herself—stopped dead in the doorway. She gripped the elbow of the man standing next to her, but he didn't seem phased.

"Do you know each other?" Kai asked. He spoke low, even as the rest of the cafe moved at the same quick pace. The four of them were caught in a net that no one else seemed to see.

"I...don't know," Cinder said, and it wasn't a lie.

Kai stood up and took her hand, guiding her forward. The woman and man stepped to the side of the doorway only once they realized they were blocking customers from getting in and out.

"This is Cinder," Kai said, addressing the woman. He turned to Cinder and gestured at the woman. "And this is Winter."

Winter blinked, and she let go of the man's arm.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Cinder asked. Without a word, Winter stepped forward and turned Cinder's wrist over. Winter's eyes widened, and in the space between one breath and the next she wrapped her arms around Cinder and pulled her tight.

There was something familiar about this too. On the tip of her tongue...the edge...

Winter pulled back. Her eyes were wide, and she breathed through her lips instead of her nose. A black Chanel purse sat forgotten on the floor where she'd dropped it.

"I've been looking for you for _years,"_ Winter said. "I thought you were _gone._ I didn't know where you were, who you were...Why did you never call?"

"I-I'm sorry," Cinder said, stepping back. Kai wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her steady. "I don't know who you are?"

Winter trembled. She took a finger and pointed at the scar on her cheek.

"This doesn't mean anything? Are you sure?"

 _Shattered glass. The screech of tires. Someone calling her name. Calling someone else's name. Her scars were burning up. Screaming. Helpless._ Broken. _Where was she, who was she, how—_

A dream. It was—a dream—

Cinder stumbled back.

"Look at your wrist," Winter said. "That doesn't mean anything either?"

If Cinder's mind were clear, she would have noticed a small tear shaping around the scar tissue on Winter's cheek.

But all her mind saw was red, and pain, and the dream was in her eyes, but it wasn't a dream, and she didn't know what was up and down and whether the screaming was only in her head—

" _Cinder,_ " Kai said. "Are you okay?"

Cinder blinked her eyes open. Her breathing steadied and the image receded.

Winter stood feet away, wiping her eyes with her hands. She tried to smile at Kai.

"Tell her my contact information if she asks," she told him. "I think we have a lot to talk about. It was nice seeing you, I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

"It's okay," Kai said. "I...um. I'll see you soon."

Winter left. Kai waved. And Cinder did nothing.

* * *

"You should go home," Kai said. "I can drive you."

"I'm fine." Cinder waved away Kai's protests. "It's nothing."

"You call that _nothing?_ " Cinder tried to walk past Kai to the counter, but Kai gripped her wrists. "You were about to faint. If I hadn't been holding onto you—"

" _Please,_ " Cinder said. "I missed the last three days of work, and I can't miss any more."

"I'll talk to your boss. It'll work out. You can't seriously convince me that everything's—"

"What? _Fine?"_ Cinder ripped her arms away and stormed past him, grabbing an apron and tying it around her neck. "It's not. I'm not going to convince you of that. But you're not fine either, so I don't know why I have to explain anything when you can't even tell me what's troubling _you_ for once."

Kai stood there, watching her walk away to the counter. He dropped his hands to his sides.

Something was wrong. He noticed the moment her eyes met Winter's. There was a story behind them, and from Cinder's reaction, it wasn't a happy one. Was it wrong for him to be concerned about Cinder when she was so clearly distressed?

It was true; he hadn't told her about what was bothering him. He _couldn't_ tell her. It wasn't just a personal matter for him—it was bigger than that, bigger than him. His hands were tied. His lips were sealed.

Perhaps Cinder just needed some time to herself. He knew _he_ needed some time for himself, but he doubted he'd be getting it anytime soon.

He shrugged on his jacket and walked to the door of the cafe. He tried to catch Cinder's eyes, but she was busy behind the counter. She knew he was leaving. She didn't look up.

It started to rain—small drops, more drops, wind, and now he was swept up into a downpour without a raincoat or umbrella. His clothing would be soaked through by the time he reached class.

Another beautiful, stormy day in the life of Kaito Huang.

* * *

The moment Winter stepped into Jacin's house, she sagged against the doorframe. The kitten paddled up to her feet, and Jacin closed the door behind them. He placed a hand on Winter's back as she continued to stand there, eyes closed and legs shaking.

Without a word, he guided her to the couch. She sat, and the kitten jumped onto the couch, approaching her lap with a purr.

"Hello, Petri," Winter said to the cat, her hands petting back the soft black fur. His white paws kneaded her leg, and she laughed as if she didn't have enough air in her lungs.

Jacin sat a foot away from her on the couch, arms resting stiffly on his knees.

"Jacin," Winter said, not taking her eyes away from the kitten, "What do you say to someone you haven't seen in nine years? Someone you knew really well? Someone who was your stars and moon and sun in the sky for the time you knew them? What if they don't remember you?"

"I don't know," Jacin said, after a long pause. "Do you want some coffee?"

Winter opened her eyes and leaned her head back. A smile graced the edges of her lips, caught in an ironic humor.

"Coffee sounds lovely."

* * *

Cinder was halfway under a sixth generation Honda Accord when she made up her mind to call Winter _._ She would ask Kai for her phone number, and then she would call her, and then—well, she hadn't gotten that far yet, really. But her mind was never so clear as it was beneath four thousand pounds of metal and rubber.

She had another hour of work before she could go home, so she decided to spend it humming and letting her mind empty into a narrow stream. Minds were like eggs cracked in a skillet—absolutely everywhere. Mechanics made her feel like she was tipping the pan, allowing her to be in one place at a time.

She didn't see Kai's face in the headlights and bumpers. She didn't imagine Winter's scar when she felt the tread of a tire, or hear Thorne's laugh in the drip of oil.

 _That was a lie. She could see everything. She could imagine everything. She could hear everything. Perhaps the pan tipped too far. Perhaps it had gone too far because she could swear she was falling, and now the warmth in the air was stuffy, and the metal was sharp and—_

She was fine. She was breathing. Her gloves were snug on her hands. The scent of steel was comforting. The light gleamed off the car bodies.

 _There was a gun. She could see its barrel. She couldn't tell how long or big it was—just that it was there and it was pointing at her dad. He crouched in front of her, shielding her. Someone clutched her side with small, scared hands, and when she turned her head, she was met by—_

Gears turned. Everything had its place. It was a map in her head, of where things fit, where things went, like a shifting puzzle she'd solved a million times. Wrenches, screwdrivers, a toolbox. She was home.

 _She couldn't hear what the man was shouting at them. He wore a black mask. She lay flat on the ground now. Her dad screamed. He jumped from his crouch, wrestling the masked man for the gun. He twisted the gun in the man's hands. A ringing shot. The gun twisted back. Another shot. Two bodies hit the ground. Someone cried. She clutched gray fabric and watched red stain it. She wasn't—_

She was home. _She was home._ She was breathing. Her gloves were snug on her hand. She was okay. She was fine. Cinder. Was. _Fine._

She scrambled out from under the car so fast that she bumped her head. She searched all her pockets for her phone, leaning gasping against the car.

Kai picked up on the third ring.

"Cinder, I should be in class right—"

"Give me her phone number," Cinder said, knuckles white around her now-dirty flip phone.

"Are you okay? Whose phone number?"

"I'm fine. I need Winter's number."

There was a pause, but Kai read out ten numbers without further question. Cinder wrote them down on her palm, but she didn't need to—they were burned into her mind, like hot poker against flesh.

"Thank you," Cinder said.

"Be safe," Kai said back, and Cinder hung up.

She dialed Winter's number. She didn't know what she was going to say, or what she needed to say, or what she wanted to say.

But some things were hard to express. Sometimes all it took was a simple greeting. Sometimes that was all one could muster.

So when she spoke to the girl who clutched her shirt so tightly in fright, the woman she'd met earlier that day, who hugged her when she realized who she was, she didn't have much else to say.

"Hello, Winter."

"Hello, Selene."

* * *

 **A/N:** You'll notice this update isn't extra long! That's because it was a pretty intense update and I would rather do a bonus part tomorrow instead of fitting extra stuff into this one. However, I haven't written it so Y **OU help me decide what to write and post tomorrow**! I'll be writing it in a few hours since posting this part, so please comment right away—but if you see it after I start writing, I still appreciate the suggestions since it lets me know what you may enjoy in the future. Thank you!

 **Options:**

\- The next part that comes directly after this (aka just writing a part in advance)  
\- The story of Winter and Jacin meeting  
\- Winter and Cinder (and Iko and Peony) as children  
\- Winter and Kai as children/growing up  
\- Cinder and Thorne memories  
\- Iko and Cinder memories  
\- FLUFFFFF of some sort (please specify?)  
\- Something else

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND COMMENTING! This is the first time I've done anything like this, so I'm really apprecaitive for the support!


	16. Part Sixteen: Found

"Did you have something to ask me?" Winter asked. Her legs were curled under her, and Jacin still stood in the kitchen making coffee, pretending he couldn't hear the conversation. Petri continued to purr, and Winter latched onto the sound, letting it calm her.

"A lot. I think..." Selene breathed deeply. "I guess there's one big question I need to ask first."

"Mmhm?" Winter's breathing hitched. She had her own questions. Was Cinder a nickname? When had she moved to the west coast? Where was Iko? Peony? Pearl? Adri? How did she know Kai? What had she been doing for nine years? _Why didn't she recognize her?_

But she knew something was up with Selene, and it seemed fair that she ask the first question. To Winter it almost seemed...like Selene forgot, somehow. She didn't know how, when it was so burned in her mind, so raw—but perhaps that was why Selene forgot. Why Selene also maybe forgot her.

"Did we know each other?" Selene asked. "On the east coast, before I moved?"

Winter was right. She did forget. She would have a lot of explaining to do, a lot to catch up with...but that was the cost of trying to regain a piece of past and make it present.

"Yes," Winter said. "We knew each other well."

Selene paused for so long Winter almost hung up, until she heard Selene clear her voice.

"Can we meet somewhere?"

"Right now?"

"No, in an hour."

"Private or public?"

"Private, preferably."

"Then you can come to my hotel," Winter said.

"Okay, thank you."

Winter shared the address and room number, then said her goodbyes and hung up. She blew up with her mouth, causing some of her hair to flounce up until she stopped blowing.

Jacin walked in wordlessly with two mugs of coffee. Winter took hers with a smile and a nod.

"I'm sorry, I'll need to leave in half an hour," Winter said. "Thanks for the coffee and all, I'm sorry our plans didn't work out."

Jacin blew on his coffee. She couldn't tell if he was more handsome than usual, or if he always looked like that—sharp, but strong features, blond hair elegantly tied back, long fingers gripping the mug with precision. Perhaps it was a doctor thing. Or maybe it was a Jacin thing.

"It's alright," Jacin said. "I should've taken you somewhere better for our first date anyway." He turned his face towards her, making eye contact. "I just thought a coffee shop was classic."

"Oh it is! Don't worry, it was all my fault it ended so quickly. But we still have half an hour. Anything you want to do? Or go?"

Jacin shrugged, then smirked. "How do you feel about painting?"

Winter clapped her hands together. "Really well!"

"Then why don't we break into my mom's art studio in the backyard?"

"I would love that."

* * *

Knowing she would talk to Winter in an hour calmed Cinder's mind, keeping it focused on the task at hand. The moment her shift ended, she left, only saying a quick goodbye to her boss before catching a bus and getting off near Winter's hotel.

She sat silently on the bus, twisting a screw in her hand that she'd accidentally left in her jeans' pocket. Her hair was still tied up and messy beyond belief, and a grease stain clung to her shirt, but her head was pounding and she could not be bothered to look presentable. When did she ever?

She only felt self-conscious when she walked into the hotel. It was as fancy as the one Kai and she stayed at in LA, if not more so. She should have guessed, what with Winter being a friend of Kai's, but she didn't know how they knew each other. She didn't know who Winter was, and even more, how they could have ever known each other in their past. Did she have the weird talent of attracting rich people into her life?

She stuck her head up and ignored the stares of the staff. She tried to look like she was meant to be there.

Someone cleared his throat behind her, and she turned, almost whipping the man with her ponytail. He was wearing the professional attire of the staff, and his mustache could've cut diamonds.

"Are you staying here, Miss?"

"No," she said, and he looked about to cut her off, so she continued before he could say anything. "I'm visiting someone who is."

He pulled a clipboard out from behind him and looked down at it. "Which guest?"

"This is ridiculous," Cinder said. "Can't I just visit her?"

He raised an eyebrow and looked her up and down. She tried to hide the grease stain with crossed arms.

"Now, if I can find her name on this list it won't take but a second."

"Winter—" She stopped, realizing she didn't know Winter's last name. She stuttered, and the man once again raised an eyebrow. "Winter...um...her last name..."

"She's with me."

Cinder turned and found Winter walking in through the front doors. She was wearing the same clothing as before, but there was a smudge of yellow paint on her cheek that hadn't been there. She looked out of breath, her cheeks flushed.

"Sorry I'm late, Selene," she said. Then she turned to the man and gave him the sweetest, most terrifying smile Cinder had ever seen, before turning back to Cinder. "Let's go to my room, and we can talk."

She looped her arm into Cinder's, and the stares increased. The man bowed and stuttered an apology. Cinder could see it in his eyes and everyone else's: why was Winter associating with _her?_ And why wasn't Winter embarrassed?

As soon as they reached the elevator, Winter unlooped her arm and sagged back against the wall. They started to go up, and Winter steadied her breathing. Cinder tapped her leg with her fingers, not knowing what to say.

"Sorry about that," Winter said. "This hotel is pretty nice, but some of the staff are stuck up." She scrunched her nose, and the paint on her cheek crinkled. "So, um, do I call you Cinder or Selene?"

"I—" Cinder stopped and considered the question. "I prefer Cinder, but I'm fine with Selene."

Winter nodded. "Alright, Cinder. I'm guessing I'll get the story later."

The elevator stopped, and they stepped out into the hall. Winter unlocked the door to her room and kicked her high heels off with a sigh as soon as they walked in.

"These things kill your feet, you know?"

Cinder nodded. She didn't know, though; she'd never worn high heels in her life, nor was she planning on ever doing so. She was clumsy enough without help.

Winter sat down on a plush armchair and gestured Cinder to sit on the couch across from her. Cinder sat down and rubbed her left wrist, not knowing where to look.

"So," Winter said. "I have some questions, but I thought I'd give you a chance to ask yours first, and maybe mine will be answered along the way."

Cinder nodded. "Okay. Where do I start..."

"How about how we met?"

"Sure."

Winter tapped her chin thoughtfully and hummed. "I think you were a year old when we met. I was three years old then, probably. I don't remember it, but our parents told us the story. Your dad met mine when bringing us to a park to play, and it grew from there."

"I met you when I was _one year old?"_

"Mmhm."

"And how long did we know each other?"

"All the way until you were ten and I was twelve. Nine years—as long as we've been apart."

"Did we know each other well?"

"Very well," Winter said. "Like sisters or cousins. Our dads told us we were cousins when we younger, actually, and I think we both believed it until we were a little older. There were times we were more close than others, but for those nine years, we saw each other nearly every other day."

"Then..." Cinder gulped. "My memories before moving are a little blurry. I always thought that was from aging, but...how do I not remember you? I have some memories of Iko and Peony, but there's so much I just...don't remember."

"Can you remember why?"

"What?"

"Can you remember why you forgot?"

Cinder shook her head, then paused. She thought back to an hour ago, to uneven breath and red visions. Was that...? Could... "Maybe. I think..."

"What _do_ you remember?"

"Maybe this is just a dream, but...something about a gun."

Winter froze. "Continue?"

"A masked man. And someone whose face I didn't see, but who I knew was my father. There was a young girl next to me, and she..." Cinder tilted her head. "Looked a little like you."

Winter sucked in a breath, but nodded. "That sounds correct."

"It's not...?"

"A dream? No, I'm sorry, it's not a dream. In fact, it's how I got this," Winter pointed at the scar on her cheek, "and how you got those." She pointed at Cinder's left leg and then her left arm, which Cinder was still rubbing. Cinder stopped, but didn't bother looking down. She already knew what was there.

A scar, across the inside of her wrist. Over the years it had faded more and more, but it was still clear, still a bump she could feel when she touched it. She never knew how she got it. She just never questioned it.

"Who are you?" Cinder asked, dropping her hands to her side.

"My name is Winter Hayle-Blackburn. I'm 21 years old, and going to college about an hour away from here. I like animals, and poetry, and art. And I am the stepdaughter of Levana Blackburn, the CEO of Café Eclipse."

Cinder leaned back in her seat, trying to keep her expression neutral.

"Ah. That...um, explains the hotel."

Winter smiled. The smile was sad. "I don't like my stepmom either, trust me. In fact, I doubt you could find someone who hates her more than me."

"Why?"

"Let's see." Winter held up her hand to tick off fingers. "She is cold, harsh, and unsympathetic. She takes what she wants, destroys what she doesn't, and..." Winter stopped.

"And?"

"And she's the reason neither of us have fathers anymore."


	17. Part Seventeen: Crescent

**A/N: I'M SORRY I CHEATED ON IC WITH PROM DRESS SHOPPING AND ROGUE ONE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A DAY LATE.**

* * *

Cinder gripped her hands together. She opened her mouth but closed it again, realizing she didn't have anything to say.

"I mean, I don't have solid proof." Winter leaned back in her chair. She looked away from Cinder towards the window, and Cinder followed her gaze. There was not much to see but rain and storm clouds. It was easy to forget the weather when they were in such a pristine, warm room, but the storm seemed fitting in a way.

"I only have suspicions and...something I've seen."

"Something you've seen?"

Winter shivered and turned back to Cinder. Their eyes met.

"I don't imagine your memory of that day is clear, even if it's come back?"

"No, I still...don't remember a lot."

"Think, what was the masked man wearing?"

Cinder shut her eyes tight, trying to pull the image up in her mind.

"All black."

"Are you sure?"

Cinder took the screw back out of her pocket and squeezed it in her fist. "I'm sure, but I don't remember it that well."

"It's okay, I was just wondering if you would have noticed it too. The symbol over his heart..."

Cinder concentrated. _Pain. Darkness. A gun. Garan, pushing her behind him. Winter next to her. A man in all black, in front of him. And over his heart..._

"A crescent!" Cinder lept up from the couch. The screw bit into her hand from gripping it too tightly, and she dropped it. It hit the ground with a small _ting._

"S-sorry, I didn't..." She sat back down, shivering. Over the man's heart had been a small, white crescent, like a moon. Why had she only now remembered?

"It's okay, I know what it's like," Winter said. "I was there too, I know...what you remember."

Cinder held a hand to her forehead. Her breathing was now steady, but she felt uncomfortably hot and stuffy.

"The symbol doesn't mean a lot on its own," Winter said. "It could've been anything. Until I snuck into Levana's office while she was gone, and found this." She pulled something from her pocket. It was long and thin and small, and only when Cinder leaned forward did she realize what it was.

"A pen?"

Winter held it out for Cinder to take. Cinder picked it up. It didn't seem much different from any other pen, except that it was perhaps fancier. If Cinder had seen it anywhere, she wouldn't have thought anything odd about it.

"Uncap it."

Cinder pulled the cap off.

"Look inside it."

Cinder looked into the cap. At the end of it...

"Another crescent."

Winter nodded. "She has plenty of pens like these, so I don't think she would notice this one missing. Otherwise, there's nothing remarkable about it. But it's too close to the man's symbol, don't you think?"

Cinder capped the pen and handed it back to Winter. Her arm shook as she brought her hand back to her body, and she curled it up at her side. A shivered went down her back, and she looked at the door, at the window, as if someone was going to jump out and attack. But no one did.

"That's all the proof I have," Winter said. She slipped the pen back in her pocket. "I'm sorry, that was a lot to put on you. I just thought you deserved the truth."

"But I don't understand," Cinder said. "Why was she trying to kill Garan and your dad? Did she also mean to kill us?"

Winter sighed. "That's what I don't really know. It's the part that doesn't make sense. What was her motive? I've always known her to be cold, but I've never seen strong evidence that she's a murderer. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being paranoid. But...

"There's just this gut feeling. That something's wrong with her. I'm not sure why she'd want our fathers dead, and if she wanted us dead, wouldn't she have killed us afterwards? All I'm going by are these vague clues."

Winter stood up from her chair, and Cinder followed suit.

"If she really is a murderer, what would that mean?"

Winter shrugged and walked away towards the sink. She poured a glass of water, leaned on the counter, and downed it in a few gulps.

"I don't know. You're the only person I've told about this."

"Shouldn't...you tell the police?"

Winter turned back, still leaning against the counter. Cinder realized she looked more frazzled, less composed.

"I don't think they would do anything. Do you know how much power my stepmother has?"

"I don't."

"It's quite a lot from the surface," Winter said. "But I'm pretty sure the power we recognize is only the tip of the iceberg."

* * *

When Kai stepped into his apartment, he almost tripped over a duffle bag. He looked up to see Thorne sitting on his bed, folding clothes. It had to be the first time Kai had ever seen him do that since he normally just pulled his clean laundry from the laundry basket.

"Um," Kai said.

"Oh, hi," said Thorne.

Kai leaned his dripping umbrella by the door, slipped his shoes off, and stepped around the duffle bag to sit across from Thorne.

"Going somewhere?"

"Yeah." Thorne stopped folding. He didn't meet Kai's eyes. "I'm moving out."

" _What?"_

"My parents threatened to cut off my income if I kept failing classes. I've been saving up money behind their back for years, though, and the school I'm going to transfer to is giving me a good scholarship." Kai was surprised to find Thorne smiling.

"You're transferring? Where? _Why?"_

"You know as well as anyone that I don't want to study law. I wasn't cut out for it, and I don't like it anyway."

"So what are you doing?"

"I'm going to be a pilot."

"A _pilot?"_

"Yeah. I'm going to fly."

Kai sat on his bed in shock, eyes wide.

"You're just going to _leave_ me like that?"

"Sorry, Mr. Prince. I already paid my half of the rent this month, so don't worry about that."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?"

Kai flicked dust off his pants. "You're my friend."

Thorne didn't answer for a while. He went back to folding clothes, and Kai continued to stare into space. Was this another one of his pranks?

"You're really, actually, truly leaving?" Kai finally asked.

"Yeah."

"When?"

"I'm catching a plane tonight."

" _Tonight?"_

Thorne shrugged. "I've always been impulsive, I don't know why you're so surprised."

"Does Cinder know yet?"

Thorne stiffened. "Not exactly."

" _Not exactly?_ She's your _best friend."_

"She's part of the reason why I'm leaving."

Kai groaned and sat back. "Whatever. Mess everything up, see if I care."

Thorne didn't answer until he zipped up his second bag.

"So, why exactly are you leaving?" Kai asked.

"Because I hate this school, and I hate my parents, and I want a new start."

Thorne stood up and Kai got up with him.

"Don't tell me you're leaving now?"

"The airport is a bit of a drive and it's starting to get late."

"So this is goodbye?"

Thorne nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Thorne picked up the second duffle bag and walked towards the door.

"Call me when you touch down so I know you made it?"

Thorne smiled.

"Sure, mom."

Kai rolled his eyes. Thorne left. And a phone rang.

* * *

Cinder stood outside the hotel, umbrella gripped in her hand. The rain had gotten worse since she'd arrived, and it was coming down in buckets now. Her socks were soaked through and the bottoms of her jeans were dripping wet.

"Kai?" she said when he picked up.

"Hey, Cinder."

"Are you still in class?"

"No, I'm back at my apartment."

"Um, can you pick me up?"

"Yeah. I have something to tell you, anyway."

Cinder gripped her phone harder. She didn't know if she could take any more new information. Was he going to tell her what was bothering him earlier? She was angry at herself now for lashing out at him before—it was his personal life, he'd never forced her to spill either.

He drove up fifteen minutes later. Cinder paused before opening the door, realizing just how wet she was and how nice his car was. He raised an eyebrow at her, though, and motioned her to get in, so she opened the door and sat down in the passenger's seat.

"I'm sorry for getting your car all wet," Cinder said.

Kai laughed and gestured at himself. He was even more wet than her, as if he'd forgotten an umbrella.

"Please. You're fine."

Kai hummed to himself as he drove, even as the rain continued to swirl around them.

"Am I dropping you off at your apartment?" he asked.

"That would be nice, yeah."

Kai glanced at the dashboard of his car.

"Hm, have you had dinner yet? It's almost 7."

Cinder shook her head.

"Why don't we get something to eat first then?"

"In _this?"_ Cinder pointed at her sopping and still grease-stained clothing.

"Why not?"

Cinder opened her mouth to say something back, before her expression melted into a short laugh.

"What did you need to tell me anyway?" Cinder asked, still smiling.

"Oh. Um..." Kai's smile faded. He pulled to the side of the road. "Don't worry, it's not...it's just because it's raining so hard."

"What?"

Kai gulped. "So...well...Thorne..."

"What about Thorne?"

"He's moving out."

"He's _what?"_

Kai gripped the steering wheel, even though they were off the road.

"He's dropping out and transferring to a different school."

Cinder groaned and hit her head with her hand. "That idiot, I'm not even surprised. He said he wanted to become a pilot, didn't he?"

"How did you know?"

"He went on and on about it when we were younger. I guess I'm glad he's finally chasing his dreams. But why are _you_ the one telling me this?"

"I...don't know. I don't think he wanted me to tell you."

"When is he leaving, anyway?"

Kai braced himself. "He left about half an hour ago."

Cinder's eyes blazed. "I'm going to slap him when I see him."

"What?"

Kai realized that her eyes were not only blazing—they were also crying.

"Take me to the airport," Cinder said. "Now."


	18. Part Eighteen: Bones

Edit: I'm so sorry guys, something went wrong when I posted yesterday so that it showed up but notifications didn't go out! I deleted it and reposted it so hopefully you guys will get the notification now~

Edit2: IT'S STILL DOING IT UGGHH. I'm sorry I don't know how to fix it, maybe this is happening to other people too? Right now I'll just hope some of you remember this updates on Saturdays haha

A/N: Just a warning that there's heavier swearing than there usually is! And don't kill me for this part, please and thank you.

* * *

Cinder tried to compose herself as Kai turned the car towards the San José Airport. She let her hair down and tied her ponytail back up, wiped her cheeks, and put the screw back in her pant's pocket. There were other things she couldn't change, like her wet clothing and stained shirt, but Kai didn't say anything about her appearance. She looked like she'd passed through a hurricane, and she knew it.

She certainly felt like it. Up to that point, the name Levana was nothing but an impersonal annoyance. She'd seen a few news stories about her and her scandals, and she knew she was the CEO of Imperial Coffee's biggest competition, but that had always been it.

If what Winter said was true, though, Levana wasn't just a nuisance—she was a murder. And Cinder was in the thick of it.

"How do you know Winter?" Cinder asked. She worried about distracting Kai from the road when it was dark and raining, but she was curious—and needed a new direction for her thoughts go in.

"My father and her mother had meetings together relatively frequently. When we were pretty young, her father supervised us. Later we had to suffer through the meets together. Can't say we ever knew each other well, but more than strangers or acquaintances, I guess." Kai shrugged.

"Did you ever visit the East coast then?"

"I didn't fly around too often because I was in school, but I came along over summer and breaks."

"So...was there any chance we met each other then too? When we were children?"

Kai's eyebrows scrunched together, but he continued to watch the road. Cinder wondered if she should stop talking.

"It's unlikely. I don't really remember it if we did."

"Mmhm."

Cinder looked away, out the window on her side. Cars and streetlights passed, shimmering like illusions in the storm. She wondered what time Thorne's flight was, if they would even get there in time. From what Kai told her, it seemed like he would be eating dinner before, so hopefully that's what they'd find when they got there—not that he'd already left.

Her gut twisted. Why was he leaving so suddenly? Even if he _did_ drop out of Stanford and get accepted at the school he wanted to go to, he couldn't very well start in the middle of the second semester. If he was flying there now, it wasn't just because of school. It was because he wanted to leave.

The question was, why? Was he really that sick of the school that he didn't even want to be near it? Did he have a falling out with his other friends? Did he have a falling out with _her_?

It was too much to think he was leaving for her. That would be a self-centered thought, she knew. But she did wonder if she was a factor, and if she was, she couldn't forgive herself for it.

"Do you think we'll catch him in time?" Cinder asked. They were only five minutes away now and the rain was starting to let up. It wasn't stopping, but at least it was easier to see the road and other cars.

"Yes," Kai said.

"Why?"

"Well," Kai said. "I'm optimistic. And I'm also pretty sure a plane isn't going up in this weather."

* * *

Thorne munched on fries, checking the boarding pass on his phone every twenty seconds. The words didn't change, the ones that now said _DELAYED_ in big, glaring white letters. He'd been planning on going into the airport, but the notification had popped up right before. He decided it would be much better to wait outside than inside if it really wasn't going to be another five hours before he could get on the plane, so he found the closest restaurant, which happened to be a McDonalds.

He evaluated his options. Getting a ride back to his dorm would be awkward with Kai and a waste of money and time. Should he rent a hotel? He was only waiting four hours now, so another waste of money. He couldn't stay out in a park because it was raining. His only real choice seemed to be to continue sitting at the McDonald's, ordering fries and drinks every half hour so they wouldn't kick him out. He predicted a weight gain of five pounds by the time he boarded the plane.

He was so used to an hour of nothing that he almost jumped when he phone rang. He actually jumped when he saw the caller ID and cursed loud enough to get weird, threatening looks from the employee's. He sat back down, trying to blend back into the wall.

 _Cinder Linh._

If Kai told had her, he would—he would—scream at him! The next time he saw him!

He considered just not picking up at all, but then she'd get worried and things would get even worse. If he was lucky, she didn't know yet and was calling for something else.

"Hello?" Thorne said, hoping his voice sounded casual.

" _Where the hell are you?"_

He held the phone away from his ear and cursed again. She knew. _She knew._

"I'm in a McDonald's, chill," he said, trying not to wince. She was scary when she was angry, even over the phone.

"How can I _chill_ when you decide to move to another state without telling me or even saying goodbye?"

"I was going to tell you," Thorne said, meekly.

"When?"

"After I got off the plane," he said. "I promise."

Cinder was quieter when she spoke again. "What street is the McDonald's on?"

"N 1st."

She hung up, and he breathed out, putting his phone face down on the table. That was close. He wondered why she asked for his location, but maybe she wanted proof that he was actually at McDonald's and not about to get on a plane.

There was no way she was actually coming out there, right? She didn't have a car, he didn't have to worry.

And he didn't worry at all the way until the door blew open and Cinder stood in the doorway, looking disheveled and wet and tired.

Why couldn't things go his way for once?

* * *

Cinder found Thorne sitting at a table near the back, his hand frozen in the air as it clutched a single fry. He dropped the fry and stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over in the process. He caught it as it fell, but it was too late—no expression could cover his nervousness

Was seeing her really that bad?

She didn't know what she would do when she reached him. Maybe she would yell at him. Or maybe she would say nothing and stare him down until he gave her some kind of explanation.

She wasn't expecting to hug him. But that's what she did, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her cheek against his chest. He smelled of rain and airport and _Thorne,_ a specific compilation of smells she associated with no one but him.

It wasn't long before he was squirming out of her grasp, and she let him. She shivered when they were apart.

"You're soaking wet," Thorne said. "And anyway, you're not supposed to hug me anymore."

Cinder crossed her arms. "Oh? Have I lost that privilege?"

He looked away, past her. Cinder wondered who he was looking at until she remembered Kai was still standing by the door.

"Both of us have," Thorne said.

"If this is about Kai, don't worry. He's not stupid enough to be jealous of you."

Thorne took another step back.

"So you two really are dating now?"

Cinder nodded. "Yeah. And?"

Thorne shook his head. "I'm happy if you're happy."

"Why does that feel like a stab at me?"

"It's not." Thorne looked back at her. His hands found his pockets, and he sat down on his chair. He still looked stiff, defensive, as if afraid she would try to hug him again.

"I honestly want you to be happy," Thorne said. "But I have a right to be happy too. So don't try to stop me when I leave."

"Why do you want to leave so much?" Cinder asked. Her arms were still crossed, but she could feel the confidence draining from her. She wanted Thorne to be happy, of course she did—but she also wanted her best friend, and she'd always thought she could have both.

Could she not anymore?

"I want to become a pilot," he said right away, flatly.

"It's not like you're going to start school as soon as you get there. You're running away."

Thorne scoffed. "That's a fine thing for _you_ to accuse me of."

Cinder shrunk back, and her arms finally fell to her sides.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you should know what it's like to need to start over," Thorne said. "I'm saying you're guilty of this too."

"I didn't get on a plane," Cinder said. "I stayed in the same state."

"Please, we all know SoCal and NorCal are like two different states. I'm not saying what you did was wrong, I'm just—"

"Then what _are_ you trying to say?" Cinder shook, and her hands squeezed into fists. She didn't need such low blows from the person who was so clearly at fault. "Don't you _fucking_ compare getting on a plane without a _single damn word_ to me moving away from my abusive family with the full knowledge of everyone I knew."

Thorne's hands were shaking. His hands were knotted together on the table, bone-white.

"I'm sorry," he said. "God, Cinder, I'm _so_ sorry. But stop pretending you understand my situation when you don't."

"I didn't want to argue with you the last time I saw you for months, but I guess you can't even give me that." Her words felt like smoke, choking her, choking him—

Cinder turned her back to him and stormed towards Kai. She grabbed his hand and threw them back into the rain. It was raining harder than when they'd come in, and in moments she was again soaked through. Kai unlocked the car and got in. Cinder slammed her door.

She breathed hard, pulling her knees up to her chin. Her hands looked like moths, fluttering on the edge of life.

Kai didn't put the key in the ignition. He didn't know what he should do, with so much space between them, with the problem being what it was. The person she needed right now was Thorne, the Thorne that wasn't flying across the country away from her. The one that wasn't running away.

He couldn't be that for her. So he pulled a blanket out from the backseat to drape around her shoulders, stroked her hair back from her face, and told her it would be alright.

* * *

It was late when they finally drove back, and both of them were dead tired and hungry, having forgotten dinner in the rush to and from Thorne. It had gotten even darker and it was just as rainy, but luckily there weren't too many cars on the road. Kai was a little worried about nodding off on the road, but at the same time he was too alert to truly imagine it happening. Cinder was asleep in the seat next to him, blanket stilled draped over her. She'd stopped crying, but he could tell she was no less stressed.

It seemed like her life had always been crazy. People had always been leaving her or using her or dying. He wanted to protect her, wanted to be able to make everything stop. He wanted to hit pause and pull her through with him, and they would live in the moment between two other moments, and nothing would happen—but it was unrealistic.

 _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger._ He'd always thought it was a stupid phrase. Being strong doesn't mean you're okay. It just meant you'd been beaten down and learned to live with it.

What if he was tired of it?

He gripped the wheel tighter, and in that moment he noticed two pinpricks of light, coming closer and closer.

He only realized it was a car when the lights became blinding. His hands jumped, and he threw his whole weight into turning the wheel. The car barreled off the road. Kai had only a moment to scream before they slammed into a tree and his vision went black.


	19. Part Nineteen: Ringing

A/N: I'm sorry I'm a day late! My beta reader was busy and then it was mother's day today. Next is the 20th part so looking forward to that~

Also, I wanna take some pressure off my beta reader, so are **any of you readers willing to beta read for me?** You just need a Gmail. Edits would be grammar, typos, and anything that makes no sense. Please comment or message me if you want to do it!

* * *

Iko was back home to sleep for the first time in a week. Visiting hours ended too early for her to sleep at the hospital, but she had been crashing at one of her school friend's house, and the night before she stayed with Cinder and Kai at the hotel.

She'd always hated living in Adri's house since Garan died, but it'd only gotten worse when Cinder left. Suddenly she was doing the chores for both of them, getting the yelling for both of them, and she didn't have Cinder to laugh it off with afterward. Then Peony got sick, and she couldn't even meet Adri's eyes; Adri was looking for someone to blame, and Iko did not want that person to be her.

But she felt like she was intruding too much on her friend, and she was tired, and their apartment was closer anyway. So when the phone rang in their living room and Adri picked up, she heard every word.

Cinder. Hospitalized. Not sick, not like Peony. Injured. Intensive care. Car crash. Cinder.

Iko slammed the door open and stormed into the living room. Adri was snarling into the phone.

"I'm not paying for the girl's hospital bills," Adri said. Her face was spotted red with anger and stress. "I don't care if I'm her mother, she should never have gotten into a car crash to begin with!" Adri hung up and turned around. She froze when she saw Iko.

Iko didn't say anything. Instead she stood there, arms fisted at her sides, jaw set and eyes gleaming.

"Don't you try to make me feel guilty," Adri said. "Wipe that pitiful expression off your face, you know as well as me that I don't have the money. If Cinder wanted to be healthy, she shouldn't have been driving at night. It's just the kind of stupid thing she'd do."

"If it were Peony or Pearl," Iko started, then gulped. She tried to stop her arms from shaking. "If it were Peony or Pearl, it wouldn't matter if you didn't have the money."

She turned her back and ran out of the apartment. She was down the hallway—down the stairs—bursting out the front doors into the night. Her breath fogged out in front of her, picked up by the hollow yellow street lights.

First Peony, now Cinder. Peony seemed to be getting better when Cinder left, but what Iko hadn't told Cinder was that, only an hour later, she'd fallen back into her sick, comatose state.

Iko didn't want to make Cinder worry more, what with all that seemed to be happening to her. She didn't need any more impromptu drives down to LA or to worry about the people left behind—she needed a new life. Even if it tore Iko apart. Even if she wanted to scream, I miss you! Come back!

But now Cinder had gotten into a car crash four hundred miles away, and Iko could do nothing but cry on the front steps of her apartment complex at midnight and pray that the last month had been nothing but a dream.

She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Thorne's number. It went straight to voicemail. Iko threw her phone on the ground and sobbed harder into her knees. There was no one. There was no one.

When she'd calmed down more, she picked her phone back up. There was a crack down the screen, but Iko didn't care. She was almost surprised when it turned on.

She dialed Cress' number. It was 12:30 am—she didn't know what she expected. But three rings later, the phone picked up.

"Hello?" Iko heard. The voice was groggy, clearly just asleep. Iko only knew Cress loosely—Cinder had given her the number just in case, and Iko and Cress had never even heard each other's voices. But Iko had to trust Cress for this, because she was desperate and, if she didn't have any evidence Cinder was okay, she would never stop crying.

"Hello," Iko said. Her voice was gravely, but she didn't care. "This is Iko, Cinder's sister."

"Hi, Iko."

"I'm not sure if you're the right person to call," Iko said. "But I can't reach Thorne, and Cinder—" She choked and tried to calm her breathing. "Cinder's in the hospital."

There was a pause on the other end, and Iko imagined Cress sitting up in bed.

"What? Why? What's going on?"

"Cinder got into a car accident," Iko said. She was expecting to start crying again after making that statement, but her voice was surprisingly even. "She's in intensive care."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Iko said. "The hospital called our mother so I don't know a lot about the situation. I'm not even sure which hospital she's in."

Cress swore. Iko didn't know Cress well, but the word sounded wrong with her voice.

"Hang on, I'll figure it out," Cress said. "Don't worry, I can figure out which hospital, but I don't know about her condition if they aren't constantly updating it electronically,"

"How?"

Cress laughed—a breathy, short laugh that sounded more than a little fake. "It's not exactly legal. But I can hack. I'll call you back."

The line went dead, and Iko dropped her phone into her lap. Her head pounded. Was it enough? No, Iko thought. It's not enough.

The buses stopped at 11 pm, and they wouldn't take her far anyway. She needed to see Cinder, needed to feel like she was doing something, anything—

She walked into the apartment's garage. Out the door at the back, up the elevator. Down the hallway. Through the door. Adri was passed out on the couch. Pearl was in her room. She took the keys off the counter. Out the door. Through the hallway. Down the elevator. Into the garage. Key in the ignition. Garage door opened. Revved the engine. Tried not to scream. Drove out onto the street.

No license. Only a learner's permit. If someone pulled her over, it would come to a stop. But of all that illegal drivers on the road that night, why would they pick her?

She made her way down streets she'd never driven down herself, felt the wheel in her hands the way she only had a few times before. Adrenaline coursed through her spine, but she didn't stop, didn't turn back.

The silver car made its way through the night, looking like a candle in a sea of shadows.

* * *

Cress leaped from her bed and sat down at her desk. She flipped her laptop open. Her fingers were like dancers in a practiced show, and in moments she was logged in and already making progress. She had been a hacker before she got her official job, but it'd always been for personal amusement or gains. She was slightly out of practice, but there was limited security on the hospitals in the area, so it wasn't long before she found Cinder's entry.

Cinder came on an ambulance. A driver had passed by and called 911. She was admitted to the emergency room at 11:02 pm and been put on life support right away. She had lost a lot of blood. She had lacerations on her chest where the seatbelt cut into her chest and innumerable small cuts. She had a concussion. She was now stable, but unconscious.

Cress' breathing got faster and faster until she had to close her laptop and close her eyes until the room stopped spinning. She'd seen Cinder only that morning. What if she'd really if that had been the last time she ever saw her?

Without thinking, she called Thorne. He didn't know most likely, and he had a car, so he could drive them to the hospital. But it went straight to voicemail, so she clutched her hands together and tried to think of another way to get there.

Did she really need to be there? She asked herself. Cinder was stable, and Cress was only her roommate.

But at that moment...did she have anyone else?

* * *

Cinder's body was numb. She felt like she was floating, like the white room was nothing but a dream. Her vision was narrow. Still, she raised her hand and tried to reach out. There was someone standing nearby.

"Kai," Cinder said. Her voice was raspy, and the word hurt coming from her throat. "Where is Kai?" She tried to sit up, but a searing pain in her head and chest made her gasp.

"He's okay," the doctor said, approaching. "Please, lay back down."

She did as they said. Her blinking slowed. She vaguely noted the IV in her arm and liquid traveling through it. In the next moment, she was back out.

* * *

The second time she woke up, she could feel a gaze on her. As she blinked her eyes open, the pain rushed back all at once. The numbness was gone, replaced by sharp pain. It was its own muddled state, but she could think clearly enough to make out Cress standing next to her. Cinder fixated on her round blue eyes, trying to hold them in her mind long enough to drown out the pain.

"Cinder!" Cress said when she noticed she was awake. "Can you hear me?"

"I...can." Cinder said. She gritted her teeth and clutched at her chest with her hand. She could feel bandages under the thin hospital gown.

Cress called over a doctor, and in seconds Cinder felt the pain slowly ease out of her, only to be replaced once more with sterile numbness. She weakly smiled at Cress before letting her head fall back and closing her eyes.

* * *

Iko had been on the road for an hour. She didn't really know where she was going anymore. She was out of LA, on the long highway. There were very few cars outside the city at that time, and as she flew by the countryside, the darkness pressed into her.

She was alone. Under the cover of night, both sides of the roads seemed like a wasteland, like a place full of ghosts and nightmares. She convinced herself a mile back that Cinder was dying, bleeding out on a bed somewhere hours away where Iko couldn't hold her or make her better or say goodbye. She could see the light sliding away from Cinder's eyes, feel the pain as she was ripped away.

Cinder was always there for her, until she left. Cinder played with her and laughed with her and loved her, because they were sisters, and they had a common enemy. Cinder made her feel at home in California and taught her English, even as the other kids made fun of her for her Portuguese words and accent. Cinder listened to Iko's worries and troubles and never made her feel any less for them. Cinder was her security. She could say, even, that Cinder was home. And now that she was gone, maybe for good...what was she supposed to do?

The tears came back. She couldn't see the road blurry in front of her, could barely see her hands gripping the steering wheel.

She remembered the last time she almost lost Cinder. She remembered her so pale and washed out under white sheets. She remembered the stitches that faded to scars, the confusion Cinder had, and then the morning she woke up and forgot what Garan looked like. She remembered the moment Cinder forgot.

Iko vowed that day never to take Cinder for granted. But now she was here again, and she was still six hours away, and she was not going to be there in time, and she still had everything to say and no time to say it.

She slammed on the brakes. She skidded across the road, and for a moment she felt out of control, out of balance, and she was going to die right there—but the car stopped and she was okay and breathing and sobbing harder and holding the seatbelt away because it felt like it was choking her, stealing what made her alive, and Cinder, and Cinder—

She unbuckled the seatbelt and turned the lights on in the car. Her headlights displayed more empty highway, and she felt like she was on a sea, with no land in sight. Tipping, rising, diving. She wanted to hit pause, to let everything drain out and leave her empty. For a moment, just a second...

Her phone rang and she picked it up instantly when she saw Cress' caller ID.

"How is she?" Iko said with no pause for breath.

"She's stable," Cress said. "Stitches on her chest and a concussion, but the doctors said that she'll be fine."

Iko felt the breath leave her. She closed her eyes and laid limp against the seat. She'll be fine.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you so much, Cress." Her voice cracked.

"You're welcome," Cress said. "Are you okay, though?"

Iko gripped her forehead. Was she okay?

"I think," she said.

"Good," Cress said. "Is there anything else you would like to know?"

"No," Iko said. "That's all. But if she wakes, tell her I say hi."

"Sure."

"Tell her to call me, too," Iko said.

"I will."

Iko let out a deep exhale. "Really, thank you."

"Of course. Goodnight?"

"Goodnight."

Iko hung up and closed her eyes. The shaking didn't stop, but her muscles were more relaxed. Cinder was alive. Cinder was okay.

"Thank every star above," Iko whispered under her breath. She waited another five minutes until she felt calm enough, turned the car around, and made her way back. She would leave Adri, she decided. She would pack up what she had left and leave and never come back.

She would go to Cinder. And she would start over.

* * *

Rikan was out of breath when he reached the hospital. It was useless to be there, because Kai was unreachable, out of sight. Rikan could not visit the operation room, could not see his son's face. Instead, a doctor described the situation and Rikan stood stalk-still, clenching and unclenching his hands into fists. Kai was a responsible kid. He didn't do stupid things. If he got into an accident, it was not because he was under the influence. But why?

Rikan's skin felt clammy. Kai was likely to survive—but at what cost? He would be scared, if not his face then his chest and—his leg—

We could attempt to save it, the doctor had told him. But it would be safer and much less painful if we removed it. As his legal guardian, it is up to you.

How much more dangerous? He had asked.

I'll frame it this way, the doctor said. Do you want to see your son again?

Rikan liked to feel in control of the situation. He liked having options. But here, there were no real options.

Of course he wanted to see his son again. But even if he went with the safest options, had the best doctors, money could not buy a miracle cure. If his wife's death taught him one thing, it was that.

He sat down on a bench in the hallway. A doctor was still speaking to him, but all he could hear was ringing.

Kai, he thought. Please come back to me alive.


	20. Part Twenty: Stitches

**A/N:** I'M SORRY I SKIPPED A WEEK, I HAD PROM I DIDN'T WANT PART 20 TO BE COMPLETELY HALF-ASSED. SO GET THE LONGEST UPDATE I'VE EVER WRITTEN!

* * *

Winter stood outside Cinder's door, arms wrapped tightly around herself. She knew Cinder didn't know her anymore; one memory wasn't enough to make a whole. She wouldn't have come at all, to give her privacy, but when Cress called her, she didn't consider saying no.

" _Thank every star above_ ," Cress had breathed, "that the phone number was yours." And in that moment, Winter hadn't regretted it. Cinder needed her friend, even if, at that moment, that friend wasn't Winter.

Cress stepped out from the hospital room. She looked frazzled, but only moderately so considering it was 3:30 am.

"How is she doing?" Winter asked.

"She woke up again, but she's out now," Cress said. "The doctors said her injuries aren't too serious and that they'll transfer her to a new room in fifteen minutes if things stay the same."

Winter breathed out and smiled. "That's great news."

"I guess I should call Iko again," Cress said, joining Winter in leaning against the wall.

Winter's eyes widened.

"You have Iko's phone number?"

"Yeah. You know Iko?"

"I met her when she was six. She's three years younger, but she was close to Cinder so we were instant friends." Winter smiled at the memory, vowing to ask Cress for Iko's number later. Iko had no reason to forget Winter, so it would be nice to talk to her again.

"I hope this isn't weird to ask," Cress said, "but how do you know Cinder anyway?"

Winter shook her head. "It's a long story. Why don't you call Iko, and then we can get something to eat? You can nap on a couch if you want, and I can wake you up if anything changes."

"Don't you need to sleep too?"

Winter shrugged. "I'm fine, but you look like you haven't slept well for a week."

Cress smiled. "Thank you so much for everything."

"It's no problem. Cinder means a lot to me too." A lump formed in her throat, but she slid away from the wall and pointed down the hall. "Food? It's on me."

* * *

The apartment was still sleeping when Iko snuck back in. If she was lucky, no one would notice she'd been driving their car. She'd used a lot of gas, but Adri was probably too tired to tell anything was off.

Iko didn't have a lot of possessions. She fit most of what she needed into her backpack, and she left her school work in a heap on her bed. It was a shame that she was dropping high school senior year, but if she was lucky she could take classes over the summer in NorCal to get the credits she needed to graduate.

That was the only reason she'd been staying in LA—to get her high school diploma. But she'd been feeling distant from her friends more and more, and if she stayed another day in that apartment, she would scream.

She ran back out of the apartment and sat on the front steps. She pulled her jacket tighter and leaned her head against the handrail. She pulled her phone out and looked up the buses that went between LA and SF. There was a big, blue "book now" button.

For thirty dollars and a long ride, she'd be free. Adri wouldn't look for her. Unlike Cinder, she didn't have a job. And she'd never been Adri's from the beginning.

She'd have to get to the bus station later. But it was way too early in the morning, she was exhausted, and if she didn't fall asleep she would probably make more stupid decisions.

The front steps weren't the most comfortable place to sleep, but she set an alarm on her phone and drifted off. When it rang half an hour later, she was too deeply asleep to wake up.

The third time Cinder woke up, she was groggy. There was a burning sensation in her chest, but it was small enough for her to ignore, and while her head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, it was an improvement.

She'd woken up to the sound of a TV. A girl laid in the bed next to her—no, not a girl, a young woman—and the cool lighting from the screen offset her scarlet red hair. If Cinder was not mistaken, she was watching a cooking show.

Cinder cleared her throat and sat up. Her chest protested, but as soon as she settled into her new position, it stopped hurting.

The woman turned her head. She looked bored. Cinder had no idea why she was watching the show at some odd hour of morning when she didn't look like she was enjoying it.

"Hello," Cinder whispered.

"Hi," the woman said.

"I'm Cinder. And you are...?"

"Scarlet."

Cinder was about to say something about her hair, but Scarlet gave her a look and she decided against it.

"What are you here for?" Scarlet asked.

Cinder grimace. "Car crash. And you?"

"My boyfriend decided we should go rock climbing. It wasn't a good idea." Scarlet cracked a smile.

"Wow, I've never rock climbed before."

"Not even once?"

Cinder shrugged. "I guess I'm more of a city kind of girl? What about you?"

"Oh, I'm a farm girl, and then some," Scarlet said. "That's actually how I met my boyfriend."

"Farming?"

"Close enough." Scarlet smiled again. The freckles on her cheeks crinkled. "He didn't even know what an artichoke was back then. You could say that I educated him."

" _Really?"_

"Yes, really! I've been teaching him how to cook." She gestured at the screen. "I don't need these cooking shows, but I watch them on my own now and then to suggest the good ones to him. I don't always have time to show him."

"Your boyfriend sounds sweet," Cinder said, smiling. The thought only made her stomach drop when she remembered Kai. But the doctor had said he was fine...right? It was unlikely he was more injured than her? Her heart started pounding.

A nurse came in and Scarlet turned the TV off. The nurse walked up to her bed and they talked. Cinder closed her eyes and tried not to think about Kai.

Scarlet looked back at Cinder.

"They're discharging me," she said. "Here." She took a pen from the nurse and write her number on Cinder's arm. "Just in case you want to learn more about farming."

The nurse lead her away. Cinder looked at the number on her arm. Scarlet seemed strange, but also interesting. She didn't know if she'd met a genuine farmer before. They'd always been "what I drive past when I drive between NorCal and SoCal." Maybe she would call her later.

When a nurse came back, Cinder waved her over.

"I was admitted with someone else," Cinder said. "Could you tell me how he's doing?"

"I can check for you. What is his name?"

"Kaito Huang."

The nurse left and came back. Cinder's heart felt like footsteps on her arm and her face grew hot, but she tried not to overreact as she waited for the results. Kai was okay. Kai was okay. Kai _had_ to be okay.

"Mr. Huang underwent surgery," the nurse said. "He is in recovery now."

Cinder pressed a hand to her shoulder and tried to act normal. "Is he going to be okay?"

The nurse nodded. "The surgery was successful, and it is unlikely future complications will come up."

Cinder nodded. "Okay, thank you for telling me."

She knew she should stay in bed. Five minutes ago, she was about ready to fall back asleep, but now all she wanted was to get up from bed and pace the room. The nurse hadn't said _what_ surgery he went through. She didn't tell her how serious it was, though Cinder figured most surgeries were pretty serious. What was his recovery time? _What happened to Kai?_

She forced herself to stay in bed, knowing she would probably alarm people if she stood up. She wasn't even sure if she could keep her balance. So she stayed back against the pillows, closed her eyes, and wished for her racing thoughts to leave her alone.

* * *

The bus ride was not the most pleasant one of Iko's life, but it was by far the most exciting. She'd gotten a window seat and the person next to her seemed content to read the entire eleven hours, so she had everything to herself. She listened to music from her phone, dozed, and watched the outside until it got dark. Because it was winter, the sun had set by the time she arrived in the Bay Area, but it was early enough for her to take Bart back towards Cinder's area.

She realized she didn't actually know what she was going to do with Cinder in the hospital. If Cress was out, the apartment would be locked to her, but she was used to waiting in the cold by that point. Even if SF was much windier than LA.

She took the last of her money to buy herself a hamburger a few blocks from Cinder's apartment. She only noticed the missed call from Cress then, as she'd avoided her phone for anything other than music and directions on the bus; she knew it was only adding to her stress.

 _8:34 pm_

 _are you back at the apartment? how is cinder doing?_

Cress replied almost right away. Iko gave up on eating her hamburger and wiped her hands off to text more.

 _8:34 pm_

 _I'll be back from work soon. Cinder is doing well. She may be discharged soon._

 _8:35 pm_

 _I just arrived in SF do you think I could stay with you and Cinder?_

 _8:35 pm_

 _Yeah, that's fine with me. I'm sure Cinder would be okay with that too. I can let you in. Give me fifteen?_

 _8:35 pm_

 _Thank you! I'll be there_

Iko breathed out. She picked the hamburger up, threw a few dollars in tip on the table, and made her way towards the apartment. She hadn't seen Cinder's apartment, only blurry images of it in the background from Skype conversations. Cinder wasn't known to be overly organized.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, a breathless girl fast-walked to the apartment. She came to about Iko's shoulders. It was hard to imagine her next to Cinder; Cinder was tan, tall, and athletic, while this girl looked like she'd just come back from reading ten books in a library.

"Hi," Iko said as she walked past. "Are you Cress?"

"Oh!" Cress turned. Her face was red from walking so far. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'm sorry for making you wait, Iko, I can let you in now."

Iko smiled. "Thanks. Really, it was no problem, you didn't need to rush yourself so much."

Cress shrugged and unlocked the front door, then lead her to her apartment. The apartment felt small when Iko walked in, but she realized it was likely just the mess of Cinder's tools and parts. The room looked like someone sliced it in half: one side was a metal hurricane, and the other was neat and precise.

"I'm safe in assuming this side is Cinder's, right?" Iko sat down on Cinder's bed, putting her backpack down next to her.

Cress smiled. "Yeah. How could you tell?"

Iko gestured at the floor. "I lived with her for twelve years."

"Cinder's not exactly subtle." Cress walked into the kitchen and glanced at the pantry. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Yeah, I got something before coming here."

"Do you want water or anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

Cress fished out instant noodles and made it in the background. Iko laid on Cinder's bed, feeling better already to be somewhere where her sister's presence was so obvious.

"So you saw Cinder," Iko said. "You said she's doing well?"

Cress took her noodles to her own bed and sat cross-legged. She nodded through a mouthful of noodles.

"She woke up at 5 am or something, and she's been awake since," Cress said. "She's handling it pretty well."

Iko nodded. "Cinder always had a high pain tolerance."

"So," Cress said, then paused to chew. "Are you here to visit her? Are you going to visit the hospital tomorrow? Do you know how to get there?"

Iko pulled her legs under her and twirled one of her braids. "Not exactly. I'm, um...I'm not going back."

Cress paused eating a second, but took it in stride. From what Cinder had told her about Cress, she understood their situation well. Iko reminded herself that this woman, while small and child-like in look, was the same one who ran away from home, made a life for herself, and then hacked into a hospital.

"I'm glad you made that decision," Cress said. "From what Cinder has been saying, she's been worried about you."

Iko scrunched her shoulders, not liking the thought of Cinder worried.

"So, what are your plans now that you're here?" Cress asked. "You're still a high school student, right?"

"Coming here was a bit of an impulsive decision," Iko said. "But I'll see if I can take summer classes. And maybe get a job in the meantime."

"Oh? Where do you want to work?"

"A clothing store," Iko said, smiling. "I've been wanting to work one for a while."

"Sounds like a good first job." Cress smiled back. It was hard not to like her when a piece of green onion was stuck between her teeth. "Everyone remembers their first job."

Iko leaned back and then spread out on Cinder's bed.

"Long ride?" Cress asked.

"Waaayyy long."

"Want me to turn the lights off so you can sleep?"

"Nah," Iko said. The quilt smelled like grease and coffee. She could have melted. "I can fall asleep...just...like this..."

And like that, she was out.

* * *

On the fourth day of not being allowed to visit Kai, she was finally given the okay. Her injuries were still healing, but she was doing well enough that they were planning on releasing her later that day.

The reason they said no wasn't so much her—it was him. She still didn't know exactly what happened, but they said something about his leg, and she didn't want to push it if he really could not see her at the time. But she missed him, and she was worried, and when she was spending all day in a room with a bunch of strangers and white sheets, that feeling intensified.

Cinder never liked hospitals. She didn't mind needles or blood or anything, really. She wasn't squeamish. But she hated the scent, and hated the colors, and hated the mood. Her darker moods grew darker. Her fear grew more intense.

So when she was being led to Kai's room, she thought her stomach was going to drop to the floor. She didn't know what state he would be in, exactly, or if he would even want to see her. She didn't know if she could stand seeing him in pain, if he was. She didn't know what to say, when she felt it was her fault in the first place that he'd been on that road, her fault it was so late at night.

The first thing Cinder noticed when she stepped in was that the room was small, individual, and had a window. She didn't want to look at the bed, unsure what she would see, but she heard the sheets rustling and finally turned her head.

Kai looked, weirdly, not much different than usual. His hair stuck at angles only achieved from serious bed rest, but other than that, he seemed like himself.

"Cinder," he said. He looked like he was going to say something else, but stopped himself. He smiled, and the smile stretched across his entire cheeks. He'd never smiled at her that way before.

"How are you?" Cinder asked. She pulled a chair over to sit next to him, and he sat up higher. She tried to ignore the IV in his arm and the wince when he moved.

"I'm doing okay," he said. "I was worried about you. How are you?"

"They're going to release me later today," Cinder said. She gulped. She couldn't see his legs, as they were covered by the blankets. It looked like he had one folded.

"That's great," Kai said. "Though I admit I'd hoped we'd get bed next to each other." He didn't stop smiling. Cinder smiled back, though it felt forced. _It's my fault._

"I'm sorry." Her hands were fisted in her lap, and Kai reached out to uncurl her fingers. She watched the ground, but startled when he brought her hand to his lips.

"Cinder, it's not your fault," he said. "That night was a mess. You can't blame yourself when the car was on the wrong side of the road."

Cinder weakly pulled her hand away from Kai. He let go.

"It's my fault we were out so late. And my fault I was so upset...I'm sorry for shouting at Thorne, and you must have so tired and worn out and that was because of me, because ever since you entered my life it's just been one thing after the other and you should just lea—"

" _Cinder._ " She didn't look up. She didn't want him to see her eyes. If he did, he would know—she was never forgiving herself for this.

"Cinder, come on. Look at me."

She forced herself to look up. Kai's eyebrows were scrunched together, and his eyes were a soft, coppery brown. Had his eyes always been that soft?

"If you're going to blame someone, blame the car. Blame Thorne. Blame me. But don't you dare blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

Cinder's throat felt like lead. She wanted to speak, but she knew any word would only be caught.

Kai scooted closer. The stool was lower than the bed, and his head leaned over her. He stroked her hair back, and she looked back down. She couldn't take his gaze. He looked so concerned when it was _him_ in the hospital bed.

"Stop looking away," Kai whispered. "It wasn't your fault. You don't need to hide your face."

Cinder stood up. Kai's hands fell, and now she was the one looking down at him. She wanted to run out into the hallway. She couldn't. She stepped towards the window.

"I missed you."

Cinder startled. The words hung like a challenge he was waiting for her to complete. Her chest constricted.

"I missed you too," Cinder whispered.

"So, please, come back." Kai held a hand out. She took a step forward, then two. She was above him. She wasn't running. He reached up with his other hand and brushed hair from her face.

"If you say sorry one more time," he said. "I'll kiss you."

Cinder tilted her head. Her face was warm, but she liked the feeling of his hand on her cheek; his hands were so soft, whereas hers were calloused and hard.

"Is that a threat?" she asked. Her heart beat, but it was for another reason now. She didn't know if she minded.

"Yes," Kai said. "But it's also a dare."

"In that case," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

He pulled her face lower. She could feel his breath, soft against her lips.

And then there was no space, and his breath was hers, and Cinder thought for only a second before she was engulfed.

* * *

Hey, you guys. Yes, I gave you another kiss. Yes, I can't write kiss scenes. Yes, I tried.

I wanted to do a little get to know my readers thing! I know it's not super usual for the writer to try to get to know all their readers (at least on ffn) but I'm too used to it, and it seems weird not to interact too much. So if you wanna get to know me, answer these and I'll reply! If you're a guest, do it too, and I can comment above my answers~

THANK YOU SOOOO, SO MUCH FOR THE READERS, AND THE FOLLOWERS, AND MOST OF ALL THE COMMENTERS! You're the reason I do this, thank you so much for giving me this chance!

 **What you want me to call you (nickname, name, whatever):**

 **Who's your favorite LC character?**

What's **your hobbies?**

 **How did you find Imperial Coffee?**

 **SOMETHING RANDOM**


	21. Part Twenty-One: Auxiliary

A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE UNANNOUNCED HIATUS. It was the end of high school, so I had a crap ton of finals and projects, and then I was graduating, and it was parties and grad night, and then it was camping, but—*breathes*—I'm back for the summer!

THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME YOU GUYS~ I also suggest reading the end of the last chapter to remember what happened (hint: it involved a kiss *wiggles eyebrows*)

* * *

Cinder felt like she was burning. Maybe that wasn't the right word, though her cheeks were red, and her hands were warm—but, no, it wasn't a fire. It was more of a... _moment_. It was more like the warmth of sun rays in a spring meadow or the soft heat of hot chocolate in winter. She didn't feel like she was melting or like she was burning up, but more like she was just right. Like she'd stumbled on a little piece of home, a little sliver of _perfect._

When Kai drew away, it felt like they had been together for hours, but it had been no more than a minute. Kai's lips were red, and she absentmindedly pushed messy hair from his face. She guessed she looked the same.

Kai coughed awkwardly and looked away, but she caught the hints of a smile. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know what. Cinder's hands were shaking, she observed detached. Just a little tremble. The calm she felt was replaced by a fast heartbeat, tinted cheeks. Like it took her brain time to process what happened—like she still wasn't quite sure that they'd kissed.

Cinder cleared her throat. "I know I already asked you this, but how are you doing?"

Kai looked back at her. He leaned back against a pillow propped against the wall, adjusting until he was snug.

"I think even better now than I was five minutes ago," he said with a teasing grin.

Cinder crossed her arms but smiled back.

"No, really. I heard you had surgery, but they didn't tell me for what."

Kai's smile softened. "It's a little hush-hush right now. Though I admit I'm nervous being the one to tell you."

Cinder's heart dropped.

"You said you're okay. Don't tell me that you're—what with Peony—please don't—" She wrung her hands. If she lost Kai too, if there was even that chance...

"It's not life-threatening," Kai said. "At least, not anymore. It hasn't gotten infected or anything, and the operation was safe compared to alternatives. I really am fine."

"Then I don't know why you're worried," Cinder said. She couldn't remember when she stood up, but she sat back in the chair. Now her hands were shaking for another reason, and she figured it wouldn't end anytime soon.

Kai took a deep breath. "It's just...a bit of a change."

"It's okay," Cinder said. "Whatever it is."

Kai nodded. His hands were balled together in a fist. He watched the sheets. Cinder followed his gaze. He was looking at his legs.

"I won't be able to walk again," Kai said. "At least, not the same way I did before."

Cinder smiled. "That's it?"

Kai's Adam's apple bobbed. Cinder wasn't sure he was breathing. "What do you mean 'that's it'?"

"I mean, this is a big deal. A big shift in daily life," Cinder said. "But it's not...painful? Right?"

Kai shrugged. "I was out most of the operation. Though I'll say it's weird...almost as if the limb is still there."

Cinder squeezed her hands together. "It's...not there?"

Kai shook his head. "I don't have my left leg knee down."

"I'm sorry for smiling," Cinder said weakly.

"No, it's a relief," Kai said. He still looked nervous, but more in a jittery way, as if the nerves had passed and now needed a way out. "I was..." He shook his head. "I guess I was worried you wouldn't...want...um. It was stupid. Sorry for being so nervous."

Cinder scooted closer and held out a hand. Kai took it, and she forced him to meet her eyes.

"It's okay to be scared," she said. "It's not nothing. But it's also not something you should blow out of proportion. We'll get through this, okay?"

Kai nodded. "I guess I should have known you'd take it this way. I didn't get close to you for nothing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I didn't fall for someone so shallow," Kai said with a smile. Cinder leaned forward and hugged him.

"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't either."

* * *

Either through sheer luck or incessant begging, Cinder was allowed to bring Kai to lunch in a wheelchair. They still couldn't leave the hospital, but Kai's father had gone out and got them sandwiches, which they ate on a bench in a hallway. Cinder had never met Kai's father before, only ever heard of him. She knew he was the CEO of Imperial Coffee, so she wasn't sure what she imagined.

He had some similarities with Kai—his hair, his eyes, his smile—but he carried himself with more confidence, and there was some of a serious air around him, though she was surprised to find him quick to laugh. He was wearing a well-tailored business suit, as if he'd just been to a meeting, though she could tell he was spending as much time at the hospital as possible. He seemed like a very busy man, so she was amazed he came at all. Though she imagined if she were the father, she would do the same.

He didn't ask about the night they got into a car crash, or what they were doing out so late at night and so far from home. She wondered if Kai had told him, but from the nervous way he held his hands, she guessed he hadn't either. Did Mr. Huang know they were dating? Had he even know they were friends to begin with?

"Kai mentioned you before," Mr. Huang finally said after taking the last bite of his sandwich. "You've been a lot of help at the coffee shop, so I hear. But I didn't know you two were so close?"

"Oh yeah," Cinder said. She realized she still had an arm swung over the back of Kai's wheelchair and she removed it. "I helped him, and then when I had a family emergency, he helped me back. I guess we got to know each other then."

So he hadn't told his father they were dating. Her stomach sank. What did that mean? Was he not serious about her? Or was it just that they hadn't been dating very long? Now that she thought about it, she'd only really told Thorne that they were dating.

"Oh, you're the friend he drove to LA with!" he said. "I'll have to say, I was surprised to get the phone call telling me my son was on a seven-hour car ride south. He's not the type to be impulsive. But it's good for him to get out."

Cinder nodded. "Yes, I'm very thankful he took me."

They fell back into silence. Cinder got up and took their sandwich wrappers to the trash, relieved to have an excuse to get a little distance. When she got back, Mr. Huang was standing. Kai's back was straight, and he gripped the armrests so hard his knuckles were white. When she turned the corner, Cinder could see who stood in front of them.

The woman was tall and quite slender, which only made her appear taller. The end of silky black hair rested against her hip; not one hair was out of place. Her clothes were formal, and while her features were soft, there was something _calculated_ about her that set Cinder on edge.

She paused before stepping up. Was this her business? Should she walk away and pretend nothing was happening.

"My greatest condolences," the woman said, bowing her head. "My lady and I wish you a quick and painless recovery."

"Thank you, Ms. Mira," Mr. Huang said. His posture was stiff, stiffer than Cinder had seen it in the time they'd been talking before. "We appreciate the sentiment. We are doing everything to assure he is back to normal as soon as possible."

The action was small, so small that Cinder almost didn't see it—but it was there. Ms. Mira crinkled her nose at Kai's missing leg. If Cinder didn't dislike her before, she did now.

"And, of course, my lady awaits Kai's answer to her proposal. She does not like to be kept waiting."

Mr. Huang put a hand on Kai's shoulder. "We are still considering Ms. Blackburn's reasonable request. We hope to reach an answer somewhere in the next month. However, with work and Kai's injury, it may be pending for some time still."

Kai released his hold from the arms of his wheelchair. His jaw was set. He looked to the side, past his father, past Ms. Mira. Right at Cinder. And pointed.

"Actually, I think I can give you your answer right now," Kai said. "Tell your _lady_ that I already have someone I'm interested in and that I'm calling the proposal off."

Cinder stood stock still, as if she could blend into the tiles if she didn't make any sudden moves. Mr. Huang and Ms. Mira's heads swiveled, and they both looked at her. Ms. Mira recovered from the shock first. She threw her head back and laughed. Actually _laughed._

"You are young, Kai," Ms. Mira said. "You should know by now this has nothing to do with so-called love."

Cinder fisted her hands, took a deep breath, and walked through them to stand at Kai's side. One of her hands found his.

"I don't know who you are," she said. "And what you want with Kai, but he is not yours to control. If he said no, that is what he meant."

Ms. Mira's expression turned from smiling to sharp in less than a second. Cinder held her ground. She felt a strange calm—one she knew would shatter the moment she was out of the situation.

"Who are you to know what I can and cannot do?" she said, sweeping some of her hair back with a graceful, exact movement. "If you cannot control your girlfriend, Kai, perhaps this won't work after all."

Cinder wanted to say something back, but she had nothing. She wanted to close the distance between her and Ms. Mira and pull her fist back and punch her in the face—but that would likely only make things worse. So she continued to stand there and squeeze Kai's hand, willing for her to leave.

"My lady is waiting for me," Ms. Mira. "I will leave you now. We expect a final statement to this proposal in the next week."

She turned on her heels and walked out. Her shoes made a clicking sound down the hallway, the beat of a cold, empty song.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Kai sagged against the back of his chair. Cinder let go of his hand, and Mr. Huang sat down on the bench. He looked at them with a tired smile.

"Was what you said true?" he asked Kai. "Are you dating?"

Kai could tell him it was just an act. Easily, he could brush it off. Cinder gulped. What would he do?

"Yes," Kai said. "We are."

Mr. Huang shook his head. "I guess I should have seen this coming. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"It just happened so quick," he said. "And I didn't know...I wasn't sure..."

"I'm happy for you both," Mr. Huang said. "But can I have some time to process this?"

Kai nodded. Cinder followed suit. Her muscles felt tense still. She wasn't sure if the nod was a nod or a jerk of her head.

Mr. Huang got up. "I need to go to another meeting. I'll talk about this more with you when I get back, okay?"

They both nodded again. Mr. Huang walked out and Cinder's breathing quickened. What had just happened? Had Kai really just told his father they were dating?

"Sorry," Kai said. "I should have asked you first, but it just...got out of my hands. I'm sorry I lost my temper."

"It's okay," Cinder said. She found the bench and sat down. Her knees were shaking. "I'm glad we got that over with, I guess."

"Me too," Kai said. He leaned his head back and looked at Cinder. His hair was still sticking up at weird angles. She considered pointing it out.

Neither said anything. Cinder was too tired. She wanted to fall asleep on the bench but figured it was a bad idea. Even then, she felt herself drifting towards sleep.

She woke up to a scream.


	22. Part Twenty-Two: Hot-Wired

Cinder bolted up. There was another scream. She looked down at Kai, who was blinking his eyes open.

"What's happening?" he asked, voice blurry. He made to stand up before remembering he couldn't and sat back, tense.

"I don't know," Cinder whispered.

Then came the sound of a gun going off.

Cinder was paralyzed. The sound was familiar, too familiar, too loud—it was the sound of life ending, of bleeding out and last words. It was the sound of death.

"Weneedtogo," Cinder said, breaking out of her stupor. "How do we get out?"

"The entrance is where the sounds are coming from," Kai said. "I don't know any other exits."

Cinder grabbed the back of Kai's chair and started the push. It would be stupid to try to run since the inertia of the wheelchair would make it very hard to stop, but Cinder's mind was blank and all she knew was that she needed to go _fast._

A siren started, then cut off. Cinder and Kai barreled down the wide hallway, passing people standing in shock, others running behind doors. She heard the clicks of locks, of people trying to hide. She heard more screams.

And then the sound system crackled to life.

" _Selene,"_ a female voice said, filling the hallway. " _The waiting is over. The battle is on._ "

* * *

Cinder's heart was in her throat. She could hear her heart, could feel it in every inch of her body. She could feel the ground beneath her feet, could see just enough to keep steering them down more and more hallways. Her vision seemed tinged with red, undulating, coming in and out of focus. Her breathing was rough, ragged, not enough, and together they blocked out all other sounds. The gunshots. The screams. It was nothing but her beating heart, sweating hands, pounding legs, and struggling lungs.

"There," Kai said. Cinder barely heard him, but he was pointing at a door with red exit signs. She tried to slow down, and they skid across the hallway. Cinder steered the wheelchair so that it dragged against the wall, creating friction. They came to a stop a foot from the doorway, breathing hard. Cinder pulled the door open and pushed Kai through. There was another hallway on the other side, but a narrower one. Kai would fit, but barely.

Cinder started off again, this time at a jog.

"What did she mean," Kai asked. He was gripping the hand rests so hard that his knuckles were white. If Cinder could see his face, she would think that he was about to puke. "Who is Selene? Isn't that what—"

Cinder pulled them to a halt and Kai lost his breath as he almost tumbled from his seat.

" _Stairs_ ," Cinder said, then cursed.

They could still hear the screams. A gun went off every half minute, and every time Cinder felt herself get a little weaker. It wouldn't be long before the gunmen found this doorway. They needed to get out.

"Try to get up," Cinder said. She stood in front of him and held an arm out. Kai took her hand and pulled himself to a standing position. He leaned against her heavily. She wrapped an arm around his waist.

"We're going to get down these, okay?" she said. She walked forward slowly. Every step for her was a hop for Kai. She could see another exit sign at the bottom and it looked like it led out.

She heard the slam of a door and shouts, then the pounding of boots. She cursed again.

"We _will_ get out of this," she said again, as much for herself as him. They made their way down the stairs slowly. Sweat beaded on Kai's forehead and Cinder's hand shook on his waist. They were only feet from escape when the footsteps reached the top of the stairs.

Cinder lifted Kai off the ground, took the last steps in a jump, and leaped out the door. When the door shut the sound of feet cut off, but they would be there soon. Fully armed.

Kai's foot was back on the ground, his arms around Cinder's neck, as they half-ran, half-stumbled towards the closest car. Cinder punched the window out, unlocked the door, and helped Kai in. Cinder scooted towards the driver's seat, but he took it and instantly reached to hot-wire it. She settled into the passenger's seat, clutching her fist against her chest. It ached, but the pain was muffled. Her head pounded with adrenaline.

"How did you—" Cinder started to ask but stopped when she realized it didn't really matter.

The door onto the street burst open behind them. There were more shouts. The engine started and Kai hit the gas, peeling away from the curve.

A gun went off. And another.

Cinder screamed as the back windshield shattered. Kai kept going, straight into traffic, weaving as if he weren't the innocent, rich college student she'd met working in a coffee shop. She'd never seen him like this.

She laughed, throwing her head back, as Kai continued to stare forward, face a mask of calm. Her laughs spilled from her like milk across a table, but then the laughs turned to sobs, and she was crouched on her seat holding herself and crying uncontrollably.

Kai kept driving. There were cars trailing them, but Kai lost them, and the farther they got the fewer and fewer cars there were until they were passing through the countryside, nearly alone.

Cinder had stopped crying ten minutes ago. Her arms were still wrapped around her middle, but she was spent.

"Where are we going?" she asked now, voice cracking.

"I don't know," Kai said. "I just…go as far away as I could. I don't know where to go."

The sound over the speakers played through Cinder's head. _Selene, the waiting is over. The battle is on._

Was it her? Selene wasn't a common name. And so soon after the car crash…

"We can't go anywhere they'll expect us," Cinder said. "But I have an idea."

* * *

The numbers on Cinder's arm were smudged, but still there. She pulled her phone out and dialed. It rang. She tried to control her breathing. Scarlet needed to pick up. She _needed_ to.

"Benoit Farms and Gardens speaking," she heard a familiar voice say. "How may I help you?"

"This is Cinder from the hospital. The one you were next to?"

"Oh, hi, Cinder! I didn't expect to hear back from you so soon. Taking me up on my farming offer?"

"Yeah," Cinder said. "But we're also in a bit of trouble and need a place to crash. Is it okay if we stay with you for the night?"

Scarlet held the phone away from her mouth and Cinder heard her shouting at someone. Was it her boyfriend?

"That should be fine. I'm guessing you need my address?"

"Yes, thank you." Cinder gave Kai a thumbs up, then grabbed a pen and napkin sitting on the dashboard.

"Of course," Scarlet said, then shared the address. Cinder wrote it down, said her goodbyes, and hung up.

"Where are we going?" Kai asked.

"A farm in the middle of nowhere," Cinder said proudly, flashing him the address.

Kai smiled, a real smile.

"Great," he said.

* * *

Benoit Farms and Gardens was _big._ Cinder had never been to a farm, never really put two and two together, and she didn't know what to expect. When they'd pulled onto the dirt road and parked before a large blue farmhouse Cinder couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement, even over the fear.

Cinder got out and moved to Kai's side. He swung the door open and wrapped an arm around Cinder's neck. As soon as he was standing he relaxed his hold, but Cinder could see his leg shaking beneath him. He'd been bedridden for days, stumbled down a set of stairs, and then drove for an hour. She was amazed he insisted on standing at all.

The door to the house opened and a familiar head of red curls walked towards them. Scarlet was wearing boots and jeans, and her hair was pulled back into a haphazard bun.

"Welcome to my humble abod— _merde_ , what did you guys _do_ to that car?"

Cinder smiled weakly and waved.

"It's a long story."

A man came out behind Scarlet. He was huge. Scarlet wasn't short, but next to him she could've been a child. His muscles were obvious even under his shirt, and scars lined his skin. Cinder was intimidated until he smiled at them; he had the softest smile she'd ever seen.

Scarlet gestured at Kai. "Is your boyfriend okay?"

Kai waved with his free arm. "I'm fine. Just having trouble walking."

"And Cinder, what happened to your fist?"

Cinder was still clutching it. No glass was caught in it, but there were deep scrapes and a large red stain on her shirt from where she'd been pressing her hand.

"I punched the window. It's fine."

Scarlet raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"Well, Cinder, and…"

"Kai."

"Meet me, Scarlet, and my boyfriend, Ze'ev."

"Hello, Ze'ev," Cinder and Kai said.

"Let's get in before you guys faint on the dirt."

* * *

Kai sat down on the couch next to Cinder. The house was pleasant, with photographs and warm-toned paint on the wall. The couch was worn but comfortable, and the coffee table was scratched but sturdy. Scarlet and Ze'ev sat across them in two large, plush armchairs. Cinder's left hand was now wrapped tightly in gauze.

"Do you guys want a snack?" Scarlet asked.

"No, we're fine," Kai said. "Thanks for letting us stay over."

Scarlet shrugged. "We don't get off our farm that often. It's nice having guests. Ze'ev might go back out to work soon, though."

Kai patted the couch. "Are we sleeping here?"

Scarlet laughed. "If you want to, but no, I have a guest room. It was my grand-mère's. I hope you don't mind sharing a king-sized bed?"

"Sounds great," Kai said. "Anything is better than those hospital beds."

Scarlet groaned. "I know, I could barely sleep there. I'm only taking a break from work today because it was so damn uncomfortable."

"And because you're still injured," Ze'ev said.

She waved him off. "Barely."

"You broke you—"

She put a finger over his lips. "I'm fine. Seriously, you're like a mother goose. Go goose the fields."

Ze'ev kissed her finger, and Scarlet laughed.

"It was nice meeting you," Ze'ev said, then got up and waved. "I'll see you at dinner."

"Bye," Cinder and Kai said. Scarlet watched him leave, smiling. Cinder thought back to when she met Scarlet and their conversation about her boyfriend cooking. Now, Cinder couldn't get the image out of her head of Ze'ev trying to cook. Even better, Ze'ev wearing an apron.

"So," Scarlet the moment the door shut behind Ze'ev. "What's going on?"

Cinder and Kai exchanged a look.

"Actually, can you turn the radio on?" Cinder asked.

Scarlet raised an eyebrow, but walked a few rooms over and returned with a large, old radio. She flicked it on to a local news channel.

"— _Three confirmed deaths,"_ the newscaster was saying, " _and fifteen injuries have been reported. The attackers got away, though there have been no additional sightings of them outside the hospital. If you see any suspicious persons, make sure you report—"_

Scarlet's eyes widened. "Don't you tell me I'm hosting murderers—"

"No, no," Cinder said. "We're escaping from them."

"No one followed you or anything…?"

"No," Cinder said. "Kai lost them."

Scarlet leaned back against her chair with a sigh.

"You realize this puts me in a weird situation?"

"I'm sorry," Cinder said. "But I—" she choked on her words. "I don't know where else we could go. I'm too afraid to go back into the city."

Kai sat straighter. "We can pay you."

Scarlet waved his offer away. "It's fine. My grandmother did her share of hiding. It's just shocking."

Cinder didn't know what else to say and they fell into an uncomfortable silence until Scarlet got up from her chair with a grunt.

"I'll show you to your room," she said. "And I think I have crutches somewhere around here that Kai can use."

* * *

"Scarlet's nice," Kai said. "How did you meet her?"

They were sitting on top of the guest bed, Kai's crutch leaning against the side table. The room was quaint, with flowery drapes and carved set of drawers. It felt like someone hadn't lived in it for a while, and when they came in Scarlet had swept some photo frames into her arms from the surfaces. Cinder wondered how long Scarlet's grandmother had been gone.

"I met her in the hospital," she said. "We were next to each other and we just chatted for a bit. I guess she liked the idea of getting a city girl out in the fields."

Kai eyed her arms. "You're certainly strong enough for it."

Cinder shrugged. "I guess. I think I'll stick with cars though."

"Speaking of cars, how much do you think it'd cost to fix up the one we stole?"

"Oh, maybe…a lot."

"I feel bad about taking it," Kai said. "I'd like to pay you to fix it when we get back."

"Great," Cinder said. "Fixing a stolen car in my lot. My boss would love me."

Kai laughed. "Okay, fair point. Maybe I'll just buy them a new car."

"That could work."

Kai sighed and leaned back against a pillow. He shut his eyes.

"How are we alive right now," he mumbled.

"Honestly?" Cinder said, mirroring him. "I'm not really sure either."


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three: Confession

A/N: Sorry for skipping a week! I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo, meaning I'm writing enough but not editing enough. Enjoy the second-longest-chapter to make up for it! Thanks for being patient with me~ (And AND EXTRA THANK YOU FOR REVIEWERS! *sobs*)

* * *

Despite there being only the four of them at the dinner table, dinner was a loud affair. Cinder wondered how long ago Scarlet and Wolf had people over because they seemed eager for the chance to talk their ears off. Cinder didn't mind; it meant she didn't have to talk herself. Kai, forever the outgoing diplomat, talked and laughed along with them. Cinder could tell he'd won their hearts over, and she became more and more relaxed as dinner went on.

Some of that may have had to do with the dinner itself. Since Scarlet was still taking a break from farm work, she'd decided to make a four-course dinner. There was no denying that she was an amazing chef—something she attributed to her grandmother.

"I actually considered opening a restaurant before," Scarlet said, between bites of some-dish-Cinder-couldn't-pronounce. "But I could never leave the farm. And besides, it's more rewarding eating the food with those you cook it for."

By the time Scarlet brought out a still-hot pecan pie and ice cream, Cinder was about ready to split her seams.

"Why don't we wait an hour before the pie?" Kai said, rubbing his stomach. Wolf patted him on the back—maybe a bit harder than he intended.

"Sure," Scarlet said. "Why don't we play something? I probably have some Uno cards around here somewhere."

* * *

Cinder couldn't pinpoint the moment she felt safe. It was somewhere between Scarlet and Kai, somewhere in the middle between dinner and dessert. It was somewhere in the soft corners of Wolf's laugh, somewhere in Scarlet's easy smile. It was somewhere in Kai's hand brushing her own, in casual meetings of eyes and the way he sighed whenever he lost.

She shouldn't feel safe, she knew. Whenever she thought of the hospital, it felt like bricks were pressing down on her chest, like she—couldn't—get—air—

But she wanted to pretend it didn't happen, that it was nothing more than a fever dream she'd woken from. She wanted to pretend the only reason they were at that house was because Scarlet was her friend, that they were there only to come, not to hide.

She couldn't ask Kai the same questions. But she could pick it up in him too—the relaxing of his shoulders, but there was still a stiffness, a tension. And he still winced when glanced at his leg, as if he forgot it was different. They felt safe. They did not feel complete.

The fifth time Cinder caught Kai wince, she tugged on his sleeve.

"Hey, are you okay?" Cinder whispered. "Does your leg hurt?"

Kai shrugged her off. "I'm okay. Just..." He shook his head. "It's hard to explain."

Scarlet yelled triumphantly as she placed her last card.

"I win! I think it's time for pie."

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Cinder remembered to ask for the Wifi password. The connection there was spotty and Cinder's phone had been almost dead, so she left it on the bedside table in the guest room. When she picked it up she saw the screen full of call notifications. Her stomach dropped.

Cress and Iko and a few other friends—the ones who knew she was in the hospital. And she hadn't responded. What would they think of her?

Iko picked up on the first ring.

"Cinder—"

"I'm really, really sorry," Cinder said, barely breathing. "But I'm unhurt." She head a muffled sob.

"You didn't call, or text, and you didn't come back to your apartment—" Iko breathed deeply. "I thought you were injured, or worse. I kept watching the reports, waiting for the name, for the phone call—"

"Iko," Cinder said. "Breathe. I'm okay. I'm really sorry. Please calm down."

"I'm—" Iko hiccuped. "I'm fine. I'm glad you're okay. But I'm still going to slap you."

"You're nine hours away," Cinder said. "How are you going to accomplish that?"

"Oh," Iko said. "I forgot to tell you. I'm in your apartment."

* * *

Cress wasn't sure when she'd started thinking about Thorne as a friend. She thought it was around when Cinder drove off to SoCal and Thorne had stayed over for the day, worrying. Cinder had never told her the exact details of their argument, but Cress was able to tell a little in the way he acted.

And then he started talking.

She thought back to her sitting on her bed, behind a computer screen, still waiting for Cinder to call. She'd been able to take her work in the apartment that day; depending on what her task was, sometimes she could work elsewhere. She normally preferred to work at her desk anyway, but she made an exception in the hopes Cinder would show up. Thorne was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, fiddling with some of the spare parts from the floor.

"Hey, Cress," he'd said. "Is it okay if I talk to you about something I've never really talked to anyone about before?"

Cress had paused in her typing. She didn't know what he was going to say. Her parents—if she could even call them that—had isolated her as a small child. She'd had to learn everything from a computer, and the only friends she'd made were online and in secret. Even after she escaped, even after she met Cinder and became more comfortable with other people, this whole opening up thing was still foreign to her. With Cinder, it had been natural. They'd had similar problems. And it'd been emotional and painful and sometimes hard to talk about, but they'd worked it out.

With Thorne, Cress really had no idea.

"I'll take your silence as a 'no,'" Thorne said, sighing. He dropped the gear back on the floor with a 'ping.' "It's okay. I know we don't know each other that well. Normally I'd tell Cinder but…um, clearly there's problems there."

Cress didn't know what to say. What did people say in these situations? But maybe she didn't need to speak; maybe she was just supposed to listen.

"It's okay," she squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again. "It's okay, I can listen."

"Do you know kind of what's going on?" Thorne asked. "I don't know how much Cinder told you."

"Enough," Cress said. "But not a lot." She tried to focus back on her screen but found her eyes unable to focus. She took note of the time and accepted that she might need to work a little later to make up for it. She didn't know how long Thorne would talk.

"I don't really know where to start," Thorne said. "So I guess I'll start from the beginning. Cinder and I were friends since [something] grade. She'd been the new student without a lot of friends, so I sat next to her. And then she turned out to be sarcastic and fun to talk to, which I hadn't expected. Pretty soon I invited her to my lunch table. And then one weekend my parents were dragging me to a party and my friends all bailed on me, so I asked her to come. She did. From then on, we spent time together after school."

He picked up another gear, looping it around in his hands.

"There was this excitement for me. My friends before…well, they were fun to be around for parties, but they weren't the kind of people you stayed up late talking to or shared anything personal with, you know? If they thought you were having a problem, they'd give you space and avoid mentioning it. But right off the bat, at that party, Cinder and I just talked. I joked about my parents, but she got it. She could see how much I resented them, and while she joked back, I got the sense that if I wanted to really share with her, all I'd have to do was a say a word. I was curious about her too. I'd never been that curious about my other friends, or even girl- and boyfriends, but with her I wanted to know where she was from, who she was, why she was the way she was. She didn't tell me for a while. All I knew is that I couldn't come over.

"There was something so close about it. I started to drift away from my other friends. People talked about us in the halls, though I couldn't always catch what they were saying. I think she did, though. I couldn't understand why so many people—people who had respected me, spoke with me, liked me—would be so rude to her. Sure, her hair was always up in a ponytail, her clothing was wrinkled and little old, and she was stronger than most of the other girls in our grade, but she was Cinder."

Cress nodded. It all sounded about right; she'd felt similarly about Cinder, though she hadn't had a lot to compare to. In a way, Cinder was her first friend—the first one offline, at least. And for Thorne, she was his first real friend, it seemed.

"I learned about her home situation by accident. We'd known each other for about two years, and it was a weekend, so I was like, why don't I stop by her apartment and pick her up? I knew the general area she lived in so I drove where I thought she might be and parked, then called to tell her where I was. But I guess I guessed too right because a moment later Cinder was running out of the apartment with her hands over her head, defensive, and an older woman running after her. The woman stopped when she saw my car and retreated back into the apartment. Cinder looked up, eyes wide, clearly not expecting to see me there. There was a bruise on her forearm as if she'd tried to block something being thrown at her. I remember seeing tears. It was the first time I'd seen her cry."

He stopped talking and tossed the gear in the air. It toppled a small pile of screws when it landed, and he sighed as he watched them fall. Cress was frozen, tense, on the bed. She knew about Cinder's situation, but it still made her on edge whenever she heard about it. It was sometimes hard to connect people to their past, but with Thorne telling the story, it clicked. Hard.

"I was angry," he said. "The angriest I'd ever been. I didn't say anything when she got in the car. Just stepped on it and drove and drove and drove. I didn't know where we were going. Cinder didn't say anything, just looked out the window. I think she was shocked. I think she was a little scared, too. We ended up at a beach somewhere far away and we just silently walked down to the waves and through the surf. It was like we were communicating in the air. When did this start? A long time ago. Why didn't you tell me? I was too scared. Scared of what? Scared of what?

"You know the rest of that story. Sometimes she'd stay over when things were especially bad. She'd bring her sister on occasion, but Iko had other friends too. Iko's friends didn't know, though. They just thought Iko was impulsive, and they liked her for that.

"I guess I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that Cinder changed my life and that I've changed hers. She's the one I've been closest to. And I guess…I've just been so afraid that we'd fall out. That we'd just stop talking. Since moving to NorCal, we've had different lives. I'm actually…still not sure exactly what I feel for her. I'm not even sure if it's romantic. I think I just want to be with her. But I don't know if I want to be married to her, you know?"

The silence stretched until Cress realized he was waiting for her to answer.

"Have you told her that?" Cress asked.

Thorne groaned. "I've tried to, but she just won't listen to me. I phrased it pretty poorly the first time, and it's not something I can just undo. I can't just say, 'Hey, sorry, I didn't mean it that way' and suddenly everything will be okay. Like, I don't know enough about myself for that. I honestly don't know what I want. And I don't want to pressure her. But I miss her so much. I just…want to keep being her friend. But it's so hard when she just keeps running." He dragged a hand down his face. "Just thinking about it makes me want to scream."

"When she calls," Cress said, "do you want me to hand you the phone?"

"Yes," Thorne said. "If she lets me."

* * *

Cress blinked. She'd been zoning out, but the sound of Iko's phone ringing brought her back. Cress came back from work to find Iko in a stupor, sitting on Cinder's couch in a daze. That's when Cress learned about the shooting, and when she had to beat the urge to pick up her phone and call Thorne. It was his right to know too…but he was the one who had gone to another state, and if Cinder wanted to call him, Cress should leave that to her.

Iko started crying when she picked up the phone, but even as she sobbed, she was smiling. Cinder was okay. Cress leaned back against her bed with a sigh. It'd been a rough week. She just hoped that for a night, everything would be okay.

* * *

The night was quiet, but Cinder couldn't sleep. She was self-conscious sleeping in the same bed, and was very careful to not move a single limb, to not breathe too loudly, but every time she shut her eyes for too long the sounds of gunshots reverberated in her head. Kai was breathing evenly a couple feet away, but she wasn't sure he was asleep either.

In the living room, with the card games and the food and the laughter, she'd been able to postpone the confrontation. But in the dark without distractions, her brain finally took the wheel.

The voice had said "Selene," and then shooters had come after the two of them, even shot at her car. Though they'd tried to make the shooting seem random, Cinder had her doubts. And while Cinder had only seen them for short, broken seconds, she thought she'd seen a small flash of white on their breast pockets. What could've been a moon.

Which meant either Winter was right, or things were getting very, very weird.

Or, now that she thought about it, likely both.

Kai stirred next to her, and she decided to go for it.

"Kai," she whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he said, voice muffled by the pillow. "Can't sleep?"

Cinder propped her head behind her hands and stared at the ceiling. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, masking everything in silver.

"I didn't expect to fall asleep, I guess," Cinder said. "But I'd had my hopes."

"Do you...um," Kai said. "I—"

"You have questions," Cinder said, then sighed. "Yeah. I wish I knew all the answers too. But I...I do think they were after me."

Kai rolled over to face her. She couldn't read his expression from the backlighting.

"You do?" Kai asked. "I thought...well, I guess I thought they were after me. I wanted to apologize."

Cinder tensed. "Why would they go after you?"

"Well, ah," Kai said. "Just because I'm the son of the CEO...I've never been really attacked before, but with how the business is going, it wouldn't be too crazy."

"You don't even have a bodyguard, Kai," Cinder deadpanned. "And not because you can't afford one."

"You're right, most of the time I don't," Kai said. "It was an agreement with my dad. He agreed that being followed everywhere wasn't the way to grow. So I learned self-defence. That's why I knew how to hotwire the car."

"Oh," Cinder said. "That makes sense."

"So...sorry, I guess."

"For what?"

"For getting us attacked."

Cinder laughed, then coughed.

"I wish that were true," Cinder said. "Maybe that would make things simpler."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm actually pretty sure they were after me."

"Why?" Kai pulled himself up so he was leaning against the wall. He looked down at her, head tilted. His hair was still sticking up at odd angles.

"Because it wasn't the first time it's happened," Cinder said. "And because I'm Selene."

* * *

Levana hated her plans going wrong. She didn't have a lot of experience with that. Now and then, a detail would be out of place, a small tweak—but failure?

It made her blood boil.

"What do you mean they escaped?" she said into the phone, voice flat and even. She never yelled, never raised her voice. But from years of running her company, she knew that was scarier.

Her voice sounded like she was going to burst. And she felt like it too.

She held the phone away from her mouth and breathed deeply, trying to regain composure. First Selene didn't die in the car crash because someone drove by and found her. And now she escaped a hospital, despite Kai being unable to walk or run, and neither of them being armed. Levana was supposed to have the element of surprise.

Was it not enough anymore?

"I'm sorry, my lady," Sybil said, voice somehow unaffected by Levana's rage. "They escaped through a back entrance and stole a car. But we are in the process of tracking their phones, so we should know their location soon. Then we will devise a new plan and finish this for good."

It wasn't the first time she'd heard that. The first time had been a month ago when she realized her first plot had failed. The one that she'd believed a success for nine whole years. The hatred boiled deep, and when she'd learned Selene was still alive, it took all of her self-control not to arm herself and go after Selene herself. She was supposed to be dead.

She was supposed to be dead.

"Thank you, Sybil," Levana said. "Proceed. Tell me of any updates."

"Yes, my lady."

"And Sybil?"

"Yes?"

"If you find their location, I am the first person you tell. Do you hear me?"

There was a pause. Sybil knew Levana well. She would know what Levana meant.

"Yes, my lady."

Levana hung up and savored the silence. This time they wouldn't fail.

Because this time she, Levana Blackburn, would end things herself.


End file.
